Are Relatives a Must Invite?

Butterflyfaye Posted: Jun 19, 2012 06:27 PM

Are Relatives a Must Invite?

So I've got a guest list conundrum...

Are relatives who you haven't seen or talked to in more than a decade a must?

My mother wants me to invite cousins of mine who grew up in Florida,and that I haven't seen or talked to since I was probably about 12/13. I've been down to Florida since but we were never close. they were always in trouble and she used to actively keep me away from them

However, now they are a 'Must-invite' accordign to her.

She says my aunt, who is invited, would be extremely offended if her sons weren't. At the same time, I haven't talked to them in more than a decade. I wouldn't recognize them if they walked by me.

Plus - my cousin thinks she's bringing her boyfriend of 6 months. BTW, she's 17.

My mom's told her YES!

FH and I were limited the +guest to those who are married or engaged, or living together for 2/3 plus years. We put the living together in there because we have a few couple friends who aren't married or engaged, but technically they are couple friends of ours. So that shouldn't matter.

Now I feel like my guest list is becoming inflated - with relatives I don't know! which.. will mean I have to trim back on friends

angelicd77 Posted: Jun 19, 2012 06:32 PM

Re: Are Relatives a Must Invite?

Are your parents paying for the wedding? If they are then that could be an issue...If theyre paying I could understand them wanting to invite all their family members. But I actually had this problem with my parents too. My mom wanted to invite EVERYONE.. I mean people that Ive never met in my 24 years of life. I told her that I would rather have people I know and want there on MY day then people that Ive never met (FH and I are paying for the wedding ourselves). My dads brother and his wife arent ivited either but thats for other reasons. I dont feel that in any way family is a must invite. Its base soley on your relationship with them the same as with friends. If there is no relationship there then why waste the invite? Even from a guest perspective.. Would I want to go to a wedding where I have NO idea who the bride and groom are? No thanks.. Id rather save the $200 and the time... Hopefully it works out for you!!!

fdnybride163 Posted: Jun 19, 2012 06:45 PM

Re: Are Relatives a Must Invite?

im having that same issue right now. FILs think that a wedding means they have to invite every member of the family...

sorry i have been around for 11 years and i have never met these people... fh has seen them maybe 3 times in 10 years...

like you said, if i wouldnt recognice them if they walked into me, why would i want them in my wedding??

2013Bride Posted: Jun 19, 2012 07:10 PM

Re: Are Relatives a Must Invite?

The +1 and your cousin is ridiculous... I'm only allowing my closest friends to have +1s (obviously ASIDE from engaged & married friends & relatives).... I personally just don't see why teenaged cousins need to have 'guests'

stormstryker Posted: Jun 19, 2012 08:19 PM

Re: Are Relatives a Must Invite?

When I had this problem with my parents (they are helping to pay for the wedding), my father shot back that the wedding is about the families coming together. And that me & FH are incidental. I took that as a major insult, told him he was wrong, and am just not doing it! Those members of the family that are so far removed that they don't know me are NOT getting save the dates, and they are NOT getting invites. thats really all there is to it! Not to mention that I told my parents they could have 100 people (that includes the family) and they gave me a list of 110 people, while saying 'we know of at LEAST 10 that won't come' They didn't understand the concept of 100 people means 100 people, not 100 people who will come.

Just do what you gotta do and deal w/the consequences later. Have the people YOU two want there and deal w/it from the parents later