Me and FH are paying for the wedding but some of my family are helping a little. FMIL and FH's dad are not involved or seem interested in the planning at all. Granted I am not close to FMIL and see and speak to her when I happen to go over FH's house. Should I just continue to go along with my planning and pretty much when they go that day let them see what we planned?
Lsorrent
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Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?
I try to keep them as involved as possible. After we found our RH, we took them to go see it when we went to sign the contract. I also give them updates on everything we've booked. And FMIL helped me choose between two wedding gowns that I was deciding on. She wasn't at the shop with me, but I showed her pictures. She also came with us to pick out BM dresses.
FIL's will be paying for our HM, so their going to be VERY involved in that aspect. But I do try to keep them in the loop - it's their son's day too, and he's the first one getting married in their family, so they're just as excited.
ETA: FIL's will also be hosting the rehearsal dinner at their house for us.
Junebride2010
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Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?
Mine are not involved at all---and i am soooooooo happy about that. If you arent close with them already then just go along with what you are doing.
babsbeark
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Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?
FH mom is deceased and no dad in picture so i have NO in laws
MrsC2010
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Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?
well they are giving us a lot of money but its been hard having them really involved. We brought them to the RH for dinner before we booked it but other than that we havent really had them all that involved other than telling them our plans. I think we will include them more later on with things like the food tasting etc
NewYorker09
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Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?
Call me crazy, but I don't want a ton of people involved in the planning aside from me and FH. It's tough enough to pick things out without more people in your ear saying what they think you should have at your wedding! If it's a money thing, all I can suggest is that you speak up. Maybe his family truly can't afford to give more money. I would discuss this issue with FH though, maybe they think they've already put in their share and don't know you're looking for more?
01ELLIE
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Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?
Mine complain about not being involved but then when you try to get them involved then they just drag their feet and get nothing done!! I'm having alot of difficulties with my FMIL....i say if you're trying to keep her in the loop but she's just not interested then dont stress over it.
Keep with ur planning....try to keep her informed of what's going on but dont expect her to be involved
Soon2bShea
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Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?
FH's parents are divorced....FMIL is a completely miserable humanbeing and she hasn't even congratulated us yet nevertheless wants to be involved in the planning. Makes me so mad.
FFIL is always down for a good party so he's looking forward to our wedding and has at least been interested in our planning and trying to help us a little here and there.
TheFutureMrsPM
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Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?
FILS have not said a word to me about the big day since they told me it was not about FH and me,
meganbrandon
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Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?
my in-laws are having ZIP to do with this wedding! I'm sure they'll show up, but thats about all... your lucky that they're even paying for the DJ - i doubt mine wont pay for the RD either :( Just go about planning your day and let them do their thing... if they throw in money at the end great, but dont expect it!
Iluvpoodles
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Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?
Posted by NewYorker09
Call me crazy, but I don't want a ton of people involved in the planning aside from me and FH. It's tough enough to pick things out without more people in your ear saying what they think you should have at your wedding! If it's a money thing, all I can suggest is that you speak up. Maybe his family truly can't afford to give more money. I would discuss this issue with FH though, maybe they think they've already put in their share and don't know you're looking for more?
No, it's not about money. We aren't looking for any. I'm fine the way things are trust me lol.
runnerbride1023
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Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?
FMIL came with us to look at a few RHs, but she actually never say the one we went with (just worked out that way)
My parents are paying for the whole thing, so they are as involved as I make them. Its FH's role to include his parents as he wants to. FH & I have been making the majority of the decisions and I have been doing all the upfront research. I am obviously including my parents in on everything esp before booking b/c its their money.
I had FMIL help me with our registry b/c she is good at that stuff. And thats basically it!
Soon2bShea
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Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?
sounds like we got a few FIL's that are completely uninvolved.
is there an official thread for uninvolved and frustrating in-laws?
Michy2009
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Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?
I am very close with FILs, however, they arent helping very much with the planning, and that's ok with me. Less people to have to try and please. However, they are not contributing to the cost of the wedding at all.
You should all consider youselves very lucky if you have your families contributing to the cost of your wedding. We are paying for everything ourselves and it *****!!
Soon2bShea
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Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?
Posted by Michy2009
I am very close with FILs, however, they arent helping very much with the planning, and that's ok with me. Less people to have to try and please. However, they are not contributing to the cost of the wedding at all.
You should all consider youselves very lucky if you have your families contributing to the cost of your wedding. We are paying for everything ourselves and it *****!!
ITA...contribution would definitely help!
MarjorieFrank
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Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?
Not really. I think FH tells them things, but they don't really ask me much and I don't tell them.
Rosalind_75
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Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?
fmil is not involved in the planning. i keep her involved has to what we are doing but thats it. she offered to pay the remaining balance of our dj which we thought was very generous considering she doesnt have very much money.
fh made it very clear that if any family member wanted to contribute financially to our wedding thats great just dont translate that into you have a say in what we want or do. if thats the case keep your money.
AngnShaun
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Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?
no... they are both off their rockers.... fmil will be lucky if she gets invited to the wedding...
beana
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Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?
No, they are both retired and live in California
01ELLIE
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Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?
Posted by AngnShaun
no... they are both off their rockers.... fmil will be lucky if she gets invited to the wedding...
LOL LOL LOL......
FMIL is difficult and stresses me out but FFIL is off his rocker completely
