Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?

Original post by Iluvpoodles

Jul 17, 2009 01:51 PM

Me and FH are paying for the wedding but some of my family are helping a little. FMIL and FH's dad are not involved or seem interested in the planning at all. Granted I am not close to FMIL and see and speak to her when I happen to go over FH's house. Should I just continue to go along with my planning and pretty much when they go that day let them see what we planned?

bulldoglover Posted: Jul 17, 2009 02:18 PM

Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?

future in-laws are not involved at all. get along with them fine but really only see them and talk to them during holidays.

shortiroc127 Posted: Jul 17, 2009 02:19 PM

Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?

I guess I don't really involve FMIL as much as she would like me to, but it get's frustrating listening to everyone else's opinions. FILs are paying for the rehearsal dinner and getting bagpipers from FFIL's emerald society. That's about it. We laid it out from the beginning...said this is what we're doing, if there's anything else you want, you will have to pay for it. But mainly we're doing it all on our own.

stinenandy2010 Posted: Jul 17, 2009 02:21 PM

Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?

FIL are not involved in the planning, they always ask how everything is though.

My parents are very involved they are paying for about 80% and I am very appreciative.

AngnShaun Posted: Jul 17, 2009 02:22 PM

Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?

Posted by 01ELLIE

Posted by AngnShaun

no... they are both off their rockers.... fmil will be lucky if she gets invited to the wedding...

LOL LOL LOL......

FMIL is difficult and stresses me out but FFIL is off his rocker completely

FMIL has serious mental problems, on top of the fact that she is also a severe alcoholic...

FH doesnt want her to come to the wedding, he doesnt want to dance with her... he would dance with my mother if he could, but that would piss the rest of his family off! LOL!

marinai7 Posted: Jul 17, 2009 02:23 PM

Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?

My FIL's are completely involved. They are paying for majority of the wedding. His mom is the cutest thing - she loves this stuff and is so excited. His dad is great also. We took them to our RH and then we signed the contract together. They came with us to the Bridal Showcase. We are keeping them involved in everything. They don't tell us what to do or anything - they are just there for us.

christine2010 Posted: Jul 17, 2009 02:24 PM

Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?

prior to us getting engaged FMIL read the wedding etiquette book cover-to-cover. so FMIL is paying for the rehearsal dinner & all the flowers & that's it. FH is paying for my wedding band & the entire honeymoon. (both of which are ) i am paying for the band, photographer, videographer, limos, invites, the church, pictures at the botanical gardens, thank yous & my hair & makeup. my parents are paying for my dress & all accessories, the RH & my shower.

i am happy with the way we split everything. it may seem like i have the most stuff to worry about but i did a lot of shopping around & will get off with spending the least amount of money.

edit: to say that since i work with FMIL i update her everyday & ask her opinions about everything.

KatieG2010 Posted: Jul 17, 2009 02:26 PM

Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?

i keep everything equal and tel FIL as much as i tell my parents... So far, so good

Future Mrs H Posted: Jul 17, 2009 02:27 PM

Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?

FH dad has passed and Mom is very ill- so nope not at all. Actually I dont think his mom ill be even coming to the reception

SuzanneK Posted: Jul 17, 2009 03:05 PM

Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?

FH keeps his parents very involved. They know everything that is going on.

mrsdraskin2009 Posted: Jul 17, 2009 03:28 PM

Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?

They give opinions but don't interfere.

kris_gets_hitched Posted: Jul 17, 2009 03:40 PM

Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?

Nope. His mom tried to get involved a few months ago and was offensive and wacky and didn't like anything we had ideas about. That ended in an argument.
Since then, FH and I agreed that since his mother wants to invite every single person she ever met in her life, she can plan her own second wedding for us. No muss, no fuss. We told her that if she wanted to do this, by all means, do it. But keep us out of it - we have enough on our plate!
Now we're all appeased. FH and I will plan our REAL wedding the way we want it to be, and FMIL can plan the second one, which will take place a few weeks after our's.
At first I thought this was nuts, but now I'm warming up to it a lot. Especially if it means relations with the FILs will be that much smoother in the years to come.

asg450 Posted: Jul 17, 2009 03:41 PM

Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?

Both of our parents are paying for the majority of the wedding; but no one really asks me much about the planning. My dad will ask how's the planning going but FH's side doesn't really. But I don't mind; it's easier for me that way.

susannjames10 Posted: Jul 17, 2009 03:47 PM

Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?

FMIL asks how the plans are going every once in while, but that is the extent of her involvement.

DaniandKen2010 Posted: Jul 17, 2009 04:18 PM

Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?

Since we are paying for our wedding 100% ourselves I haven't asked for their imput.

mzmahagony Posted: Jul 17, 2009 04:27 PM

Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?

My parents are not involved so luckily his parents are helping. His mom is helping a little too much though..lol

Yankees2323 Posted: Jul 17, 2009 05:30 PM

Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?

his mother doesnt get involved at all... just asks hows the planning

MikesBride2B Posted: Jul 17, 2009 05:42 PM

Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?

They don't seem very interested

FIL's live in Ohio, but while I was out there I tried to involve FMIL...I offered to show her pictures of my dress, the BM dresses, the RH...all the things we had so far. She said she wanted to see them, but not just then because she was 'busy'...she was clipping coupons.

I haven't offered since and they haven't asked.

20mrsc10 Posted: Jul 17, 2009 05:50 PM

Re: Are your future in-laws involved in the planning?

i keep them in the picture-fmil more so than ffil..and fsil is a moh so i keep her up to date too, but its more of that-just keeping them up to date..fmil did go to a few florist appointments with me since theyre paying for that, and shes going to one videographer appointment as well (the other thing theyre paying for)