asked to be in wedding party question.

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Posted by Spring143

A close friend and her fiance that we always go out and away with are getting married.
She asked me to be in her wedding party. I would have thought fh would be asked to be too--but they didn't.
Has this ever happened to you or your fh? Should I say something? I feel bad because fh and my friends fh became close friends. The guys usually make the plans when we go out. Am I wrong to think this is weird??
We are not having a bridal party so we didn't ask either of them. I know she is having a large one.
We will be married by the time of their wedding.

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I'm in somewhat of a similiar situation. There's me and my FH, and our 2 best friends. They are both in our wedding party. She is one of my MOHs and he is one of the GMs.

FH was asked to be in their wedding. I was not. It's a bit different of a situation though, as she is only having her sisters. However-although it's a little different- I think I can still put myself in your shoes, to a degree.

Honestly, I would LOVE to be in their wedding. They are my best friends, and FH & I introduced them and I'd just love to be a part of it. But I'm not mad or pi$$ed or anything, because it is what it is.

I wouldn't say anything. It sounds like you are very good friends and you don't want to ruin that. Not being in a BP doesn't mean they don't consider him a good friend, maybe there are just extenuating circumstances. At the end of the day, it is what it is. Everyone has their own way of selecting a BP. Some have none, some have family only, some have lots, etc.

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Posted by Spring143

His brothers are prob his best men (or at least one) she's having like 3 friends his bros sis in law and than 3 cousins.
She was so jealous after we got engaged we didn't hang out until she knew her fh had put a down payment on her ring.
Before either of us got engaged she was speaking about her wedding and said my fh would be in it---that's why I always thought that.

Has your wedding and your friends wedding become like competitive?? Our wedding is going to be small-they will have like triple our numbers. All these weddings have my head spinning!!

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No way , its been good ( so far)she actually is using the same photographer as we are! We go over stuff and can get advice from each other,

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Posted by Spring143

QUOTE]
No way , its been good ( so far)she actually is using the same photographer as we are! We go over stuff and can get advice from each other,

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Your pretty lucky--Its the opposite for me-its like how can I top you.

jna I think its rude too!!

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I dont think its rude, maybe he has other friends who he feels closer too . Everyones wedding are different and if you think it is a big issue then maybe you should not be in it, BUT because we are getting married does not mean that my BF has to put my husband in her wedding party even if he gets along with her Fh. This is avery miner thing and I would not worry about it just enjoy them in yours and you being in hers and FH can take lots of picture of you walking down LOL

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Posted by FutureMrs.M

Now this is JMHO it is there bridal party and they should be able to include or not include whoever. I personally have been in bp without fh being in it and it didnt change anything. FH still when to all the guys activities when I was out doing the girls stuff. He just wasnt a gm. The day of the reception it didnt change anything I danced for a little with my partner and then fh cut in. Heck I was even in a bp where me and fh werent partnered together and we did the same thing. I would be REALLY ticked if someone suggested to me I had to include their fh in the bp because they are engaged. It is an honor that they asked you.

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I agree my sister will not be walking in with her husband, she is MOH!

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Posted by jcreilly

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Posted by FutureMrs.M

Now this is JMHO it is there bridal party and they should be able to include or not include whoever. I personally have been in bp without fh being in it and it didnt change anything. FH still when to all the guys activities when I was out doing the girls stuff. He just wasnt a gm. The day of the reception it didnt change anything I danced for a little with my partner and then fh cut in. Heck I was even in a bp where me and fh werent partnered together and we did the same thing. I would be REALLY ticked if someone suggested to me I had to include their fh in the bp because they are engaged. It is an honor that they asked you.

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I agree my sister will not be walking in with her husband, she is MOH!

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I also agree...you should ask who you are closest with and not just ask ppl's spouses or significant others. I have ppl in my weddng that are married or in a serious relationship and we didnt ask their partners. I asked my family and closest friends....fh did the same. I think thats how it should be.

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Posted by Iluvpoodles

This is a good question. I wasn't even aware that you had to ask someone's wife/husband to be in the party as well. I have my MOH who is a close friend since childhood and my fiancee picked his close friend since childhood. I was only intending to ask 2 other people as BM's. Both me and FH have no other family to ask to be in the BP. He's already having one cousin and his other friend who he was going to ask can't even attend the wedding now. Me and FH and his best man and his wife always go out together I get along great with his wife. Me and his wife aren't close where we go out together just me and her but we do get along great. They got married this past March and I was not asked to be in the BP as we had just met that summer and their BP consisted of all family and one friend so I never assumed I would be asked. I was considering asking her to be in the BP and I have time to since I'm not asking the rest of the BP until next month/August. I didn't know though that when a couple is married that it was rude not to include the spouse.

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again these are just peoples opinions. I dont feel it is rude not to include a persons spouse. but that is just me and others are allowed to have separate opinions. it is what you feel


also just to note i go on vacation with the same people every year and hang out with them. but they arent going to be in my bp. If you are upset then talk to your friend but just be prepared for her to be upset back at you. BTW does your fh feel this strongly about this cuz then maybe he should be the one doing the talking to your friends fh and not you

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Posted by MrsC2010

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Posted by jcreilly

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Posted by FutureMrs.M

Now this is JMHO it is there bridal party and they should be able to include or not include whoever. I personally have been in bp without fh being in it and it didn't change anything. FH still when to all the guys activities when I was out doing the girls stuff. He just wasnt a gm. The day of the reception it didnt change anything I danced for a little with my partner and then fh cut in. Heck I was even in a bp where me and fh werent partnered together and we did the same thing. I would be REALLY ticked if someone suggested to me I had to include their fh in the bp because they are engaged. It is an honor that they asked you.

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I agree my sister will not be walking in with her husband, she is MOH!

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I also agree...you should ask who you are closest with and not just ask ppl's spouses or significant others. I have ppl in my wedding that are married or in a serious relationship and we didnt ask their partners. I asked my family and closest friends....fh Did the same. I think thats how it should be.

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exactly my point also. We hang out with them all the time. They make plans for us-the girls don't even. we shall see what happens i guess.