OK - so it seems that wedding planning is a weeding out time for friends, just like any big event in our lives. The people you thought would be there for you aren't and some people you never thought would be there for you are.
With that said, I had 2 bridesmaids that are now coming as guests. One we decided mutually which was great and the other one not so much. I told her that I was upset she wasn't responsive and couldn't even rsvp to my engagement party. She was clearly wrapped up in her own world. So she basically just exploded on me and called me self-absorbed and my expectations are too high.
Has anybody else dealt with this? Wedding planning is stressful enough without having to deal with this crap...
CrazyLove11
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Re: Asking a Bridesmaid to now Come as a Guest
If that is the way she reacted instead of acting like a mature adult then she is beeter off coming only as a guest - you don't need it.
J79
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Re: Asking a Bridesmaid to now Come as a Guest
I completely agree. If thats how she feels about me in general she doesn't need to be a part of this. There are TONS more details to that convo, but I gave the gist
I just read another post about regrets on your wedding day. Overall it was their BP! Someone said something perfectly that I wish I knew ahead of time. Don't pick your BP right away when you get engaged, wait because it changes. So for all those newly engaged, AMAZING advice! I asked people right away and now I regret it.
Mrs R
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Re: Asking a Bridesmaid to now Come as a Guest
I am going through the exact thing with who i thought was my best friend. I feel like if you dont want to stand by me (i was in bp by the way) then i dont want you even attending. I am so hurt by her that i have been crying for days. I refuse to send her an invitation,
Lolablue34
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Re: Asking a Bridesmaid to now Come as a Guest
Posted by Mrs R
I am going through the exact thing with who i thought was my best friend. I feel like if you dont want to stand by me (i was in bp by the way) then i dont want you even attending. I am so hurt by her that i have been crying for days. I refuse to send her an invitation,
This exact thing just happened to me (except without the tears because I truly was grateful she was no longer part of my wedding!!).
It really is a bummer, but in the end I had to do what was right for ME-not for anyone else. And you should do the same.
Roccosgirl
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Re: Asking a Bridesmaid to now Come as a Guest
Exactly...you have to do what make you happy. I do understand how you feel. I've always been there to support my friends through all the happy times in their lives and I feel when it came for my turn and my wedding some of my friends had no interest at all. I really don't feel like they have played a part like I thought they would have wanted.
Panamasweet
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Re: Asking a Bridesmaid to now Come as a Guest
Ive been dealing with this and it came to a head today. My BF as of a few hours ago had not ordered her dress. All of the other girls ordered thier dresses in the begining of the year and the deadline to order was the end of may. she missed every appointment i set for her. She also has done nothing wedding related with me and has not even called me during the planning process. I text her today and told her to save our friendship i think she should come as a guest instead of being in the wedding. i told her i feel she has to much going on in her life right now.
As for your friend that blew up on your....I wouldnt even invite her as a guest. what she did was rude and uncalled for. She knows she screwed up , why would she blow up on you. she is obviously not a friend and doesnt deserve to have you pay for her to have a good time.
J79
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Re: Asking a Bridesmaid to now Come as a Guest
how did your friend take it? especially through a text....
as for my friend, the funny thing is i have my engagement party next wknd! i don't even know if she would show up at this point. my wedding isn't until next march so a lot can happen. if this leads to a fallout then obviously she won't be invited even as a guest. she said a lot of extremely hurtful things today.
ps - did i mention i met her throug a bereavement group when i lost my mom 3 years ago??? she lost her mom too so she should know how extra emotional planning a wedding without my mom is. a simple call once in awhile asking how i'm doing would have been nice espec since i did ask her, with regrets, to be a bridesmaid. yet, i'm 'self-absorbed and my expectations are too high'
