Asking bartenders not to serve a guest alcohol?

Original post by bluegreen08

Jan 03, 2008 10:28 PM

Just out of curiosity..... if you had a guest that you knew had a problem controlling his/her alcohol intake but you still needed to invite them to the wedding, what can you do?

Can you give the bartenders a photo of the guest and tell them not to serve him/her alcoholic drinks? (like sparkling cider or non-alcoholic wine, or lie and say there's alcohol in the mixed drinks?) Or maybe not serve them real drinks after an hour? I'm sure the person would probably notice, but I'm just curious if places would actually do that

Any other ideas for dealing with a potentially problematic guest?

Mici n KC Posted: Jan 04, 2008 10:00 AM

Re: Asking bartenders not to serve a guest alcohol?

Posted by davenjess

i would alert the maitre' d and your bridal attendant - to keep an eye on the person. This way - they can alert the bartenders and let them know if the dude is drinking too much...

I really think this is the best idea. Chances are you'll have more than one bartender and the server for this person's table will also be able to bring drinks.

nifheim Posted: Jan 04, 2008 10:04 AM

Re: Asking bartenders not to serve a guest alcohol?

most places will stop serving or water down the drinks to people they feel had too much. Also inform the matre d' over the situation and its their job to be bouncer too.

RadiantBride Posted: Jan 04, 2008 10:07 AM

Re: Asking bartenders not to serve a guest alcohol?

I bartended for 5 years while in college and honestly it is very hard to give someone a picture and tell them not to serve the person drinks. Legally once a bartender sees that a person is intoxicated they should not be serving them drinks (does this happen? not really).
How about you have a family member that is close to that person kind of 'baby-sit' them the whole night to ensure that they dont drink.
Good luck!

bluegreen08 Posted: Jan 04, 2008 02:16 PM

Re: Asking bartenders not to serve a guest alcohol? (updated below)

this is a repeated thing that happens

Mici n KC Posted: Jan 04, 2008 02:21 PM

Re: Asking bartenders not to serve a guest alcohol?

How has she been at other weddings?

mandag Posted: Jan 04, 2008 02:24 PM

Re: Asking bartenders not to serve a guest alcohol?

Posted by AS

I would just tell the bartender to look out for anyone that had a little too much to drink and not serve them after a certain amount of drinks or to just water down the drinks so they wont be too strong

I think this is the best way to go, too. That way it won't seem like you are singling someone out - and there may be less of a chance for that person to get angry...

bluegreen08 Posted: Jan 04, 2008 02:24 PM

Re: Asking bartenders not to serve a guest alcohol?

Posted by Mici n KC

How has she been at other weddings?

I'm the first of our friends to be getting married. I'm not sure if she's been to other weddings. That's a good question - not sure if there's anyone I can really ask though.

mandag Posted: Jan 04, 2008 02:27 PM

Re: Asking bartenders not to serve a guest alcohol?

That is a very tough situation. I think you have to put the pressure on your bartenders, though and tell them to absolutely NOT serve anyone that has had too much.

I think if you talk to her she may just become defensive, especially if she has any inkling that she may have a problem with alcohol. She may want to stay in denial.

It also depends on how close you are to her.

Good luck!

jeffamanda080808 Posted: Jan 04, 2008 02:28 PM

Re: Asking bartenders not to serve a guest alcohol?

Posted by davenjess

i would alert the maitre' d and your bridal attendant - to keep an eye on the person. This way - they can alert the bartenders and let them know if the dude is drinking too much...

This is what we are doing. There are two people that I know will be out of control. It is just the way they are. If it was up to me I wouldn't even invite them but we have to.
I personally have no problem what so ever if someone got tossed out for being too drunk.

Mici n KC Posted: Jan 04, 2008 02:30 PM

Re: Asking bartenders not to serve a guest alcohol?

Posted by bluegreen08

Posted by Mici n KC

How has she been at other weddings?

I'm the first of our friends to be getting married. I'm not sure if she's been to other weddings. That's a good question - not sure if there's anyone I can really ask though.

She might be different at a wedding than when going out a night or something. I mean you can always talk to your maitre'd and bridal attendant so they can keep an eye on her as well.

MrsHtobe Posted: Jan 04, 2008 02:31 PM

Re: Asking bartenders not to serve a guest alcohol?

What do they normally drink? I know that we have jokingly / half seriously suggested to some friends (including myself) lol, that they stick to wine spritzers for the night instead of straight wine. Bring it up casually, try to mention that the day is really a marathon, not a sprint, and that you hope everyone takes it easy.

Espo22 Posted: Jan 04, 2008 02:32 PM

Re: Asking bartenders not to serve a guest alcohol?

is she easy to talk to...i would just tell her, listen its my wedding lets not get too trashed. I mean the way i see it with friends you are very open and can talk about these things if you say it right, it doesn't have to be in a demanding mean way.

bluegreen08 Posted: Jan 04, 2008 05:17 PM

Re: Asking bartenders not to serve a guest alcohol?

Posted by MrsHtobe

What do they normally drink? I know that we have jokingly / half seriously suggested to some friends (including myself) lol, that they stick to wine spritzers for the night instead of straight wine. Bring it up casually, try to mention that the day is really a marathon, not a sprint, and that you hope everyone takes it easy.

we went to a new year's party with an open bar and she ordered a glass of white wine (and then a second one) so I thought maybe she's getting smart about her drinking and is ordering something easy to keep track of and less strong than mixed drinks. However, I lost track of her and saw her drinking at least one martini and taking at least one shot later that night. She didnt even remember drinking those....