Brides Helping Brides ™ - Atheists/Agnostics - dealing with the holidays

yabbobay Posted: Dec 02, 2003 11:50 AM

Atheists/Agnostics - dealing with the holidays

I was raised agnostic/atheist (mother/father) with a Christmas tree - and celebrating only Santa (I think mainly b/c it is a German tradition)

I have no tree now...no lights...i may put up a wreath...but thats it...

when I have kids...i will probably do what my parents did...tree and gifts...but no religion...

tell me about your holidays...your pet peeves, is your family upset with your choice, etc...

also for non -atheists/agnostics, I welcome you to join the discussion...ask questions...but please respect the views...and do not try to convert

shelzyp Posted: Dec 02, 2003 11:54 AM

Re: Atheists/Agnostics - dealing with the holidays

We put up a tree, lights, wreath, and snowmen galore. I have never been to church for Christmas, and although I was baptizeds, made my communium and confirmation, we never went to church. My mother raised us roman catholic becasue that is what she was raised, but we never went to church. I think she only did it so that later in life we could make our own decision on religion, but felt that at least we had a basis in one specific one. We never had a nativity scene, and it was about spending time with your family, and giving gifts.

Sage10.03 Posted: Dec 02, 2003 11:54 AM

Re: Atheists/Agnostics - dealing with the holidays

Yabbobay -
I was raised with a Catholic Mom, and a Jewish Dad. Therefore, I was never baptized either or.
For me, the Festivities of the Christmas Holiday are not about religion at all....
It is about being around family and friends, showing your love for each other and showing the spirit of giving...
This is my favorite time of year and it has nothing to do with religion at all.

Neither of my parents forced their religion on me and decided to let my brother and I choose when the time came.
Well, I chose not to choose.
I consider myself a very spiritual person and yes, I do believe in God. I do not feel the need to be part of a formalized religion to be this way, or to believe what I believe.

(and yes, I still think I will get into heaven )

Sonicstef Posted: Dec 02, 2003 11:58 AM

Re: Atheists/Agnostics - dealing with the holidays

I am a Christian but I celebrate Christmas in a pretty non religious way. I see the two things as pretty seperate. One is the Christmas 'seaon' that is all about Santa and snow and presents and Christmas music, etc. - just a time for love and giving and appreciating.

The other is a much more private thing that I do mostly interally on Christmas Eve only. I dont do nativity scenes or even wear a cross.

My point is - you guys probably celebrate Christmas much like I do :D

If I have kids, I would do the same - make the religion part of it more private and the season part of it more of a public display.

JennRenee Posted: Dec 02, 2003 12:02 PM

Re: Atheists/Agnostics - dealing with the holidays

I think the whole point of the holiday season is to celebrate and feel the joy of giving in any way that is comfortable for you.

We all do things differently, and I think it's the coming together of many different traditions and beliefs that makes this time of year so special.

oneday Posted: Dec 02, 2003 12:23 PM

Re: Atheists/Agnostics - dealing with the holidays

Posted by JennRenee

I think the whole point of the holiday season is to celebrate and feel the joy of giving in any way that is comfortable for you.

We all do things differently, and I think it's the coming together of many different traditions and beliefs that makes this time of year so special.

Very well put!

For me, I was raised Lutheran but after about the age of 7 we didn't go to church anymore so, I never really felt much religion around the holidays. I guess we just celebrated with Santa & gifts and stuff. At this point, I don't practice any religion. Basically, I like the family and love and giving aspects and don't really feel that FOR ME it needs to have anything to do with religion. We will put up a tree this year and lights and (if I get around to making it) a wreath because it feels festive.
My MIL & FIL go to church on Christmas eve and DH often will go with them, just to make them happy.
I don't think my dad cares since we never really did any of the religious stuff growing up. I'm sure that MIL & FIL probably would like it if we would do the church stuff (any time we stay over there place on a Sat. night, they always say 'You can come to church with us on Sunday if you want'.) But they don't really get on our cases for not.

ChristineC68 Posted: Dec 02, 2003 12:30 PM

Re: Atheists/Agnostics - dealing with the holidays

My parents raised us Catholic but we didn't really go to church unless it was with school. We celebrate Christmas by getting together and sharing a nice meal. We decorate and exchange gifts because of tradition. It's a nice family day.

reallybehind! Posted: Dec 02, 2003 12:32 PM

Re: Atheists/Agnostics - dealing with the holidays

it's actually kind of funny b/c i don't believe in god or any religion, but i love christmas! mainly b/c i feel like everyone is so much nicer during the season. and i love things like snow, baking cookies, being with family and seeing the joy on my niece and nephews faces when they get presents. (that made them sound really bad, they're not that spoiled really!) anway, i associate all of these things with christmas, even though they're more generic than that i guess. plus i adore christmas music and all those cheesy specials and christmas movies. i guess i just like it because for me it's about family and i learned a long time ago that family is way more important than anything in this world.

Xelindrya Posted: Dec 02, 2003 12:33 PM

Re: Atheists/Agnostics - dealing with the holidays

Mom raised me Pedecostal (sp) and my father was a lapsed Catholic. I’ve been through the 7 discussion of Mormonism, through all sorts of other churches and beliefs. I finally just came to the point were I realized I can find a point of contention with every one I went to. So instead of basically pissing people off, I quit going. I am devout to my beliefs. I think Religion as it’s many forms today is just twisted and sad. I think that makes me an Agnostic or that’s how folks in the religious world like to categorize me when they aren’t trying to tell me I’m wrong..

Christmas was (as I’ve said) two separate events. Birth of Christ & Gift giving. As a kid.. Old Saint Nick meant more to me. When I hit my religious revolutions I thought of it differently. Then I found out the date was wrong. After awhile, I just came to treat it as a birthday of a famous person who influenced today’s life.

Pet peeves? Those little baby Christ birth scenes “The Nativity”. Whatever. Since I really don’t believe in worshipping a piece of plastic it bothers me that I’m supposed to somehow honor it. It’s just not real for me.

I carry my religion in my mind and soul, as it were. It bothers me that people put so much into materialistic things about religion.

Mostly though I feel religion is a brainwashing of sorts. I, too, am a victim. I believe because I’m too afraid not too. But I carry my beliefs in me not opening and so obsessively. I do wear a cross around my neck but it’s not a crucifix and I just liked the design.

Ok, so yeah we have a tree, but we never EVER say it has ANYTHING to do with Christ. We don’t do anything to celebrate his birth, we just know it’s there. Like you don’t go nuts over your Uncle’s 56th birthday.

Still I watch Joe Public go one with it's insantiy and just shrug. What can I do?

Claud2001 Posted: Dec 02, 2003 12:35 PM

Re: Atheists/Agnostics - dealing with the holidays

As a Catholic, I was always taught that 'Jesus is the Reason for the Season' and that we need to keep Christ in Christmas...it is a pet peeve of mine when people say and use the term 'Xmas.'

I think that our society has commercialized the season and it's become more of a secular holiday than it really should be...more about presents and material things, rather than a religious observance.

My family has many Christmas traditions that we follow...some of them come from our faith and others from our nationality. I have grown up observing Christmas Eve as the more solemn holiday vs. Christmas Day. We have a tradition Italian meal - with no meat (similar to Friday's in Lent) with just fish and veggies and then we attend midnight mass after dinner. This is more difficult to fulfill with a small child in the family, so this year should be interesting!

starhead Posted: Dec 02, 2003 12:53 PM

Re: Atheists/Agnostics - dealing with the holidays

I am athiest, so is DH, he was raised Catholic and I was raised Methodist. Neither of us are religious now, at all. I had to go to church christmas eve and christmas day growing up, had the nativity scene, the whole bit.

We do the tree and presents, no church (obviously). To DH and me, Christmas is not about religion, just about being with family and enjoying the 'holiday' season. Call me a hypocrite!

yabbobay Posted: Dec 02, 2003 02:46 PM

Re: Atheists/Agnostics - dealing with the holidays

Am I the only one who doesn't celebrate really?

I was upset that I had to got to school the night before T-giving (Queens College) and I skipped it b/c I had a long drive ahead of me the next day...and the professor actually had the nerve to ask me where I was!!! Well considering everyone gets off for their holiday...i thought i would take off a day for being an atheist...I was so mad...

I really feel sometimes if you are not Jewish or Christian...you are not treated the same...and then when you ask for a little concession...the majority jumps down your throat...

why aren't my (non)religious view important - b/c I don't think like the majority?

JennRenee Posted: Dec 02, 2003 03:01 PM

Re: Atheists/Agnostics - dealing with the holidays

Erica, just curious... do you exchange holiday gifts or just forgo celebration of any kind?

I don't think you need to be religious to enjoy the peace, joy and feelings of good will that come with the season. A close friend of mine is an atheist, and enjoys the season as much as the next person, while keeping it strictly non-religious. I totally support her, and everyone else who celebrates in their own way.

yabbobay Posted: Dec 02, 2003 03:13 PM

Re: Atheists/Agnostics - dealing with the holidays

we exchange gifts...(I LIKE THAT PART ) and get together on the 25th...b/c everyone has off (my friend is Jewish and they all get together on the 25th for the same reason...its easier)

its funny you mention joy, peace, good will, etc...b/c when you go to the mall you don't find this at all!!!

Its just hard when people make a big deal that we don't make a big deal of xmas...

Jordan Posted: Dec 02, 2003 03:14 PM

Re: Atheists/Agnostics - dealing with the holidays

Posted by yabbobay
why aren't my (non)religious view important - b/c I don't think like the majority?

I think there is a misconception wrt atheism. Because an atheist doesn't believe in the existance of a 'god' - then therefore an atheist has no beliefs. I've gotten this often...and personally, to not believe, is a belief. Am I making any sense?

mlp924 Posted: Dec 02, 2003 03:29 PM

Re: Atheists/Agnostics - dealing with the holidays

Erica...I totally respect your beliefs and to be honest....until you said it/wrote it......I feel very similar.

Just wondering about your DH though. What does he believe? How was he raised? How will you both raise your children?

yabbobay Posted: Dec 02, 2003 04:12 PM

Re: Atheists/Agnostics - dealing with the holidays

DH was raised nothing as well...

once they moved to Arizona they even stopped the xmas tree - and they would give gifts at anytime of the year - if they wanted their 'xmas' gift in august - thats when they would get it...maybe if he was more into it...i could get into it...

We are both on the same page in the 'religion' aspect...which makes things very easy...

ETS: my MIL, since moving to AZ, has been adopted by the Navajo and has picked up on a lot of their beliefs...she even has a Hogan in her backyard...