Awkward... my uncle asked my mom about the rehearsal dinner...
Original post by sarahradio5
since he's going to be staying at the hotel where we're having the RD the night before the wedding! (he's a 4 hour drive from the wedding and he's staying over 2 nights)... My mom is kind of upset that she can't invite her own brother and his wife to the RD (and I don't blame her seeing as my parents are paying for the entire wedding the next night!). He asked because he has 2 daughters who are married who had RD's whose in-law's paid for the RD and invited OOT guests, so he thought he'd be included since he'd be here. I agree with him!
My FH's mom already told my FH that she's not paying for OOT guests (she was upset that I was going along with etiquette which suggests that we do). Meanwhile, there would only be a maximum of 10 OOT guests staying the night before the wedding who are not participating in the wedding who we would like to have at the RD.
What can I do? Should we wait until it gets closer and see who books the night before the wedding? My FH is so protective of what his mom has to pay for (not what MY parents have to pay for), that it causes arguments between us at the mere mention of his mom having to pay a penny more for anything. Maybe my mom can ask his mom when the day gets closer?
Any suggestions? We were thinking that my mom would pay for them, but we're sick of my parents having to supplement ALL the costs because no one wants to shell money out (she's already putting money into my bridal shower because his sisters were upset about the costs )
Sunrise813
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Re: Awkward... my uncle asked my mom about the rehearsal dinner...
Sorry to say this but I have to agree with your FH on this one, I think that adding 10 guests to the RD guest list is a lot, maybe you guys can pay for the extra guest. I really think only those in the wedding usually get invited to the rehearsal dinner since its really about rehearsing for the day of the wedding and to give a little thanks to those that are participating. MY in-laws paid for the RD and I would not expect them to pay for anyone other than those in the wedding. It really adds up.
SeptBride70
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Re: Awkward... my uncle asked my mom about the rehearsal dinner...
even though it might be stepping on FMIL's toes, i would (myself) pay for the OOT guests. it is proper etiquette and it's the right thing to do.
i wouldn't even say anything to her about it or even FH for that matter. i would just do it on my own and send them an invite. if they are going to get upset it will be too late by the time the RD comes and the OOT guests show up.
sorry she is being that way. it's nice of people to offer to pay for things but i mean, if you are going to offer-- then do so, you can't offer and say 'but wait a minute- not this!'... it should come without conditions.
ETA: lol sarah i just thought of something funny: i have the opposite problem!! my fmil tries to turn everything into a mini wedding. she wants to invite like 70-80 people to the RD, have a DJ, entertain people (and that's not BP and OOTs) these are just 'close friends and fam' she wants to randomly invite!!! LOL and shes like well since i'm paying i can do what i want but i'm like NO i don't want it to be a circus the night before the wedding-- it really takes away a lot from the actual wedding-- i mean, a DJ? LOL FH had a nice long talk with her about that-- and the answer was NO mom, you cannot do that... OOT guests and BP members only like etiquette clearly states! lol i just thought that was too funny-- we have opposite problems!!! too little and WAY TOO much hahaha
Mooshyboo
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Re: Awkward... my uncle asked my mom about the rehearsal dinner...
I am sorry that you are going through all this ~ I know it can be frustrating at times If I were you I would probably just keep the peace and pay for my uncle.
sarahradio5
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Re: Awkward... my uncle asked my mom about the rehearsal dinner...
Posted by STBMrsDaniRella
even though it might be stepping on FMIL's toes, i would (myself) pay for the OOT guests. it is proper etiquette and it's the right thing to do.
i wouldn't even say anything to her about it or even FH for that matter. i would just do it on my own and send them an invite. if they are going to get upset it will be too late by the time the RD comes and the OOT guests show up.
sorry she is being that way. it's nice of people to offer to pay for things but i mean, if you are going to offer-- then do so, you can't offer and say 'but wait a minute- not this!'... it should come without conditions.
ETA: lol sarah i just thought of something funny: i have the opposite problem!! my fmil tries to turn everything into a mini wedding. she wants to invite like 70-80 people to the RD, have a DJ, entertain people (and that's not BP and OOTs) these are just 'close friends and fam' she wants to randomly invite!!! LOL and shes like well since i'm paying i can do what i want but i'm like NO i don't want it to be a circus the night before the wedding-- it really takes away a lot from the actual wedding-- i mean, a DJ? LOL FH had a nice long talk with her about that-- and the answer was NO mom, you cannot do that... OOT guests and BP members only like etiquette clearly states! lol i just thought that was too funny-- we have opposite problems!!! too little and WAY TOO much hahaha
that's so funny! can we put my FMIL and yours in a room together?!!? Maybe they'll rub off on each other to end up at normal?!
No, I was told to 'screw etiquette... we're not inviting OOT guests.'. Well, then can I 'screw etiquette' and limit the guest list, even if it means not inviting people we invited to the E-party to the wedding? No... we're inviting everyone, because it's the right thing to do, and we don't feel right limiting their guest list. But, unfortunately, it's not a two way street. This whole thing is one big learning process...
