So, we got an RSVP in the mail on Saturday. My mom didn't want to ruin my bachelorette party, so she waited until today to tell me.
It was from one of my cousins who stopped talking to my entire family for 6 years after my brother's wedding over the fact that my brother didn't have kids at the wedding, and wouldn't make an exception for her or her sister. They - including my aunt - alienated themselves from the whole rest of our family - including uncles (my mom's brothers). So my mom didn't talk to her sister for 6 years. My brother made efforts to make amends, but my aunt (who you can picture the evil stepmother from Cinderella - she always reminded me of her) refused to make things better. So... just until recently, when my aunt needed my mom in a health emergency (they live right across the street from each other... talk about awkward!) and my mom drove her, did they start talking. I told my mom she could invite them all to my bridal shower in hopes we could all get along again. They insisted on bringing the girls to that (aged 6 and 8). Fine... it's a bridal shower. I always went to theirs.
Now, we do NOT want kids at our wedding, except my nephew/ringbearer and one of my FH's 3 nephews - a Jr. groomsman. That's it. We wrote 'Adult Attendance Requested' on the invitation. And we put ____ of 2 will attend on their invitations so they knew just 2 were invited. Could NOT have been more clear. Well, we get the RSVP back from my one cousin in pretty purple ink with hearts drawn all over with the 2 crossed out and the 3 in its place! And for the names, Baby Cousin Sarah (we have the same name) written in with the adults' names.
![]()
![]()
![]()
My solution was to say.. fine. Whatever. I give up. Then I told my mom we can't have my second cousins here and not all three of Joe's first nephews. It's not fair. So, I told my FH the whole story today, and he brought us back to reality (my brother - and all of us really agree here). Why are we giving in? We said no kids. Period. We don't want kids running around at the wedding. I thought that telling him that he could have his nephews would avoid a fight with us, but he (and I) really just don't want kids there!
The OTHER problem is that we're not even sure, at this point, if we're gonna meet our minimum! We're at 65 yeses right now - with a LOT missing. If we don't allow their kids, they won't come. That's 5 adults I would have liked to be there. I really like them.
But this is like a big chess game where now it's our move. But, it's not so much a battle of wills with us as much as that we just don't want KIDS at our wedding! As it is, my brother is getting a babysitter for the bridal suite and my FSIL is sending her nephew home half way through so she can have a good time!
My mom gives up. She's upset that her sister's kids would put us through this, but also knows that we always went to all of their weddings as kids (in the 80's). But, I think that was a different time. Weddings have taken on a different tone now. And my FH and I are pretty set on not wanting kids.
Sorry so long, but what the heck do we do?
