B-List what did/do you do?

Hi everyone,
I need some advice. Today was the RSVP due date. We are 15 under our minimum now. There are 25 who still didn't RSVP -- they are all people we are unsure about.
What do I do???
I feel really stupid about not allowing the 2 single friends who wanted to bring guests to bring them.
There are a couple of people I'd like to invite, but the RSVP card said today.
What do I do????
Advice please!
TIA

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Posted by SoonToBeMrsScott

people will still send there rsvp after the date and you should call the people who didn't respond and see what they say

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Ditto....then you will have enough info to make a decision...(ie invite more people, allow people to bring dates, etc.)

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Posted by MsPotterhead

Thanks, I will do that. But do you think I should start inviting a few other people? Its only a month away, if I wait longer, it may be too late! And my biggest concern is that they will know they are B-list and feel insulted. Any suggestions on that?

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B List is better than not on any list...JMO...hopefully people will understand..if not than they won't go...Its up to you if you want to start inviting more...but I would spend the weekend calling up folks and see what their story is...good luck!

First you should call all the people who haven't RSVP yet and see how many aren't coming. If you only need 15 more and 25 still haven't responded, what if they are all coming. I hear it is very common for there to be a few people who haven't responded, and that you will have to call them to find out.

Wait a week for more RSVPs to come in. I had a ton come in this week and my RSVP date was June 1st.

We have about 20 phone calls to make before we can even touch our B-list.

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Posted by MsPotterhead

Hi everyone,
I need some advice. Today was the RSVP due date. We are 15 under our minimum now. There are 25 who still didn't RSVP -- they are all people we are unsure about.
What do I do???
I feel really stupid about not allowing the 2 single friends who wanted to bring guests to bring them.
There are a couple of people I'd like to invite, but the RSVP card said today.
What do I do????
Advice please!
TIA

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you can always see if your RH can count vendors as guests

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Posted by SoonToBeMrsScott

people will still send there rsvp after the date and you should call the people who didn't respond and see what they say

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Totally agree!

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Posted by MsPotterhead

Thank you ladies! Great advice. I do think I will need to go to the B-list, I have iffy feelings about some of the 25. When you go to the B-list, do you tell them first, and explain why the invite is so late? I may just hand the invites to two people I work with and explain the situation to them tactfully. What do you think?

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We explained to people that you were on our list, but due to the fact that both of us have large families and the room only holds 200 people, we had to make cuts on what friends to invite and unfortunately that included them.

Almost everyone understood. Of course, there will always be people that get touchy, but it honestly was/is the truth (for us).

The best thing for b-list is people you like, but don't know all that well. A new friend, or co-worker will be glad you thought of them.
I would just be straight up and say, I can invite some more people to my wedding and I thought it would be really fun if you could make it.
On the other hand, I was on a cousin's b-list and it was kind of insulting.

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Posted by Newsysuzy12

The best thing for b-list is people you like, but don't know all that well. A new friend, or co-worker will be glad you thought of them.
I would just be straight up and say, I can invite some more people to my wedding and I thought it would be really fun if you could make it.
On the other hand, I was on a cousin's b-list and it was kind of insulting.

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I totally understand being insulted about your cousin's B-list. The people I'd invite are co-workers, who I don't think would be insulted, and a few friends/aquaintances that I'm not close with anymore, but just because we've drifted, not for any reason. I think they would understand.
Vendors are 1/2 off after the minimum, I guess they might count towards the minimum if I asked. I wish I sent invites out earlier, and had a second set of response cards -- that would have been smart!
Thanks ladies for all your advice!

A little dishonest but you could...

Call the people who haven't responded.

Then call the people on the 'b-list' and say the same thing you said to the 'a-list'. 'I hadn't heard from you so I was wondering if you are coming.'

Then they will say, 'I never got an invite.'

Then you can say, 'OMG!! I'm so mad, I sent you one a month ago!!! Well, can you come? I'll send you another.'

I'm not sure if I would actually, but when calling to follow up for my sister's wedding invites, we did have a few that got lost in the mail. If we didn't call, they never would have known about it.

while you could fake having sent them an invite, i think you are best off just explaining that you wanted to invite them, had to cut back because of the room limitations, but now you are so happy you can invite them.

or, you had finalized your list a while ago but you've become closer over the past year and you decided better late than never, and you really would love if the could come.

good luck, i hope it goes well

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Posted by bluegreen08

while you could fake having sent them an invite, i think you are best off just explaining that you wanted to invite them, had to cut back because of the room limitations, but now you are so happy you can invite them.

or, you had finalized your list a while ago but you've become closer over the past year and you decided better late than never, and you really would love if the could come.

good luck, i hope it goes well

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Ditto - while they may not find out about the lie - it will be even more insulting if it ever does come out that you never sent them one in the first place.