FH and I are getiing married in October. We would love to try for a baby around April/May. Everyone tells us wait, wait, youa re so young. And we both love each other and can't wait we are in no rush to have 3 kids but just our first. Peopel say to travel but the industry FH is in he gets his 1-2 vacations a year he is too busy to take of for weeks at a time. Does any one else get this? I think it is sooo annoying!
Mooshyboo
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Re: Babies?
I hear ya ~ We are getting some people asking us when you are going to try to start a family (hint hin honeymoon baby) and some family is saying wait a year or two+...
it is annoying since we are not even married yet ~ we keep saying let us get to September and then we will decide when the best time for us to start having our family! I would like to start trying early 2008 but FH might want to wait alittle bit but who knows when it happens it happens!
twinkletoes807
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FH and I were planning on trying for a HM baby since I will be 33 years old when we get married, but now with us buying a house 45 days before we get married we have put that on the back burner. I figure that I will come off my BCP after the HM and we'll be careful. Then start officially trying in December for a 1 year Anniversary baby!!
qtdimps23
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im 27 and FH will be 33 a month after the wedding. he keeps saying hes going to hide my BCP from me cause he wants a honeymoon baby. our family says dont rush, but of course they want grandchildren.
yet my friends are the ones to tell me to wait at least a year. of course these are the friends without children.
VadersBride2006
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Well, I see it from a different perspective, being as FH and I already have kids. This it the thing... I already had my first when I met FH, then 5 years later we had our own, and 2 years after that, our last. We never had any 'couple' time, when it was just us. That definitely puts a strain on the relationship. I think that is why people are telling you to wait.
StarryEyedBride
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We're actually the opposite!
We want to wait for at least 3 yrs or so and take our time just being with each other and enjoy being married and travel and go out and concentrate on careers for a bit. BUT lots of family are making comments ALREADY about when we're having kids and stuff and how long are we going to wait and how many etc. etc. No one is ever happy - you do what is right for you two and don't let anyone's opinions bother you!
Kara and Todd
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I don't want kids, but I don't think it's anyone's place to tell you and your FH when you should have a child. It's YOUR decision and YOUR decision only.
I find people who comment on stuff like that to be extremely rude. It's none of their business.
You may be young, but you're adults and capable of making your own decisions. Don't listen to what anyone says - Do what makes you happy.
Tell anyone else that there are only 2 people in your marriage and therefore only 2 opinions that matter.
Nlynn
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My family actually wants me to have babies right of way. I want to wait at least 2 yrs...but if it comes earlier then i will be happy either way.
MrsQ-in2007
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We are going to wait at least 1 year to start trying. With us not living together before the wedding, and the first year of marriage said to be the most stressful (some say it's the first 3 years!), we don't want to add raging pregnancy hormones to the mix - just enjoy living together and being married. My FH is close to mid-30s so we don't want to wait too long, but we're hoping we do not have a 'surprise' baby in our first year at least!
micknjohn
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Re: Babies?
Posted by StarryEyedBride
We're actually the opposite!
We want to wait for at least 3 yrs or so and take our time just being with each other and enjoy being married and travel and go out and concentrate on careers for a bit. BUT lots of family are making comments ALREADY about when we're having kids and stuff and how long are we going to wait and how many etc. etc. No one is ever happy - you do what is right for you two and don't let anyone's opinions bother you!
Exactly...and we agree with waiting a few years. We want to travel, get settled into a house, i want to get my graduate degree...plenty of time for babies
MF9282
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I wish we could travel. FH's job is too demanding and he is a work aholic We both feel that 6 months is long enough to wait for us and than let nature take its course. Everyone always has a damn opinion!!
Mmnnng
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I had my twins @ 19 and they are almost 9 now! I thought I was in a rush to have another baby as soon as the wedding was over, but I've realized that I finally have some down time since the girls are more independent now and FH and I could get away for a bit without them!
You do whatever makes you happy...its no one's choice but yours!
lilangel
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FH is going to be 30 this year and he is itching to get started on having a baby. I am getting to that point too. We are going to wait a year till we have a baby though. We want to have everything else squared away.
MJDoc12
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the whole kids thing question is so farking rude--i can't even express.
FIL whenever we are at his house EVERY FUKING TIME says to me 'it would make me so happy if you guys gave me a grandkid soon' i have to laugh uncomfortably and say, 'well we have time for that' and he has the BALLS to say 'well i don't know how much time i have left, so you might have all the time in the world, but i don't' [never mind that he has NINE kids that he doesn't support and the government pays for them---having kids is nothing to him cause he doesn't know what its like to have to WORK for them]
never mind he has like 6 grandkids already, but he's too cheap & farking ghetto to travel to go see them and thinks they should come to HIM. so that's why he's adamant about DH and i having a grandkid for him...so he has one local. i want to punch him in his damn face each time he goes on about it. cause really---he doesn't say it once--he talks about it for like 20 min. i want to tell him to S T F U about it, but i don't want to start a fight.
this just turned into my own personal vent--sorry--but the kids issue really hits hard for me cause it makes me so angry!!!!
monelwookie
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Re: Babies?
Posted by Mooshyboo
I hear ya ~ We are getting some people asking us when you are going to try to start a family (hint hin honeymoon baby) and some family is saying wait a year or two+...
it is annoying since we are not even married yet ~ we keep saying let us get to September and then we will decide when the best time for us to start having our family! I would like to start trying early 2008 but FH might want to wait alittle bit but who knows when it happens it happens!
monelwookie
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Re: Babies?
Posted by MF9282
FH and I are getiing married in October. We would love to try for a baby around April/May. Everyone tells us wait, wait, youa re so young. And we both love each other and can't wait we are in no rush to have 3 kids but just our first. Peopel say to travel but the industry FH is in he gets his 1-2 vacations a year he is too busy to take of for weeks at a time. Does any one else get this? I think it is sooo annoying!
i think its great that you are ready to have kids....personally i want to wait until i'm about 28-30 before we have our first. FH is already 28, so he ready now, but he understand that at my age (24), a baby is the last thing on my mind....if you are ready, is say GO FOR IT!!!
carolinebr
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Re: Babies?
We had a baby in March & got married in June. Yes its absolutely wonderful. We love our daughter to death & can't imagine life without her. That being said, I agree with the OP that there is no 'couple time.'
Want to pick up & go out for dinner & drinks with friends? Um, nope. You have a baby. Babies don't go to bars. Your friends are taking the boat over to Block Island & want to know if you guys want to come...? Nope, can't take a newborn on a boat! What if the seas are rough? Let's have a romantic weekend getaway in the Hamptons! Who will watch the baby? Let's hop a flight to Miami! Baby screams for 3 hours straight on the flight & you need 4 Zanax. Oh but you can't take them because you're breastfeeding. Your friends are having a destination wedding! Oh, too bad. You're breastfeeding & the baby won't take a bottle. You can't go. And you can just forget about ever having sex again. You'll be too tired.
And it can be very stressful. Even the strongest of couples will find themselves at each other's throats when the baby is on day 6 of screaming & not sleeping. Check out www.lifmailies.com & read some posts in the Parenting room. You'll see women ripping their hair out.
Also the first year of marriage is supposedly the toughest. You might consider getting through that before throwing a baby into the mix.
WOW - didn't mean for this post to sound so negative... yikes!
ronnysbride
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Re: Babies?
Posted by MF9282
I wish we could travel. FH's job is too demanding and he is a work aholic We both feel that 6 months is long enough to wait for us and than let nature take its course. Everyone always has a damn opinion!!
how old are you anyway? not that it matters, just curious.
bellaro782
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Re: Babies?
Well the thing with FH & I is that we both live at home and when we get married it will be the first time we are both on our Own .. we will have alot to get used too.. & I think we want to enjoy each other for a couple of years then Try having kids...
pupidda122505
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Re: Babies?
Posted by bellaro782
Well the thing with FH & I is that we both live at home and when we get married it will be the first time we are both on our Own .. we will have alot to get used too.. & I think we want to enjoy each other for a couple of years then Try having kids...
It's the same thing for us right now. We both lived at home until we got married and right now we're taking it easy and getting used to living o our own and with eachother. I think adding a baby to our little family now would make things much more difficult. We're thinking of waiting 2 years just so we can have some couple time and enjoy being newlyweds.
