Babies?

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Posted by carolinebr

We had a baby in March & got married in June. Yes its absolutely wonderful. We love our daughter to death & can't imagine life without her. That being said, I agree with the OP that there is no 'couple time.'

Want to pick up & go out for dinner & drinks with friends? Um, nope. You have a baby. Babies don't go to bars.
Your friends are taking the boat over to Block Island & want to know if you guys want to come...? Nope, can't take a newborn on a boat! What if the seas are rough?
Let's have a romantic weekend getaway in the Hamptons! Who will watch the baby?
Let's hop a flight to Miami! Baby screams for 3 hours straight on the flight & you need 4 Zanax. Oh but you can't take them because you're breastfeeding.
Your friends are having a destination wedding! Oh, too bad. You're breastfeeding & the baby won't take a bottle. You can't go.
And you can just forget about ever having sex again. You'll be too tired.

And it can be very stressful. Even the strongest of couples will find themselves at each other's throats when the baby is on day 6 of screaming & not sleeping. Check out www.lifmailies.com & read some posts in the Parenting room. You'll see women ripping their hair out.

Also the first year of marriage is supposedly the toughest. You might consider getting through that before throwing a baby into the mix.

WOW - didn't mean for this post to sound so negative... yikes!

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Not negative...Just very honest!

I agree that a little waiting is a good thing..enjoy eachother a bit before adding another person to the mix!

DH and I aren't even sure we want kids and THANK GOD our familes are very supportive and never bring up the issue.

No one has to agree with my on this, this is just my theory on the matter
To me if you're a couple who has either lived together for many years (5 or more) or been a couple for a long time before getting married, then the feeling of wanting a baby is there b/c you've been together for so long. The feeling of 'enjoying one another as a married couple' really isnt any different than what you were doing before. When people use that term to me its usually because in the situation of living together, waking up, breathing the same air is so new they want to enjoy that first b4 bringing a new person into it. That's their situation and it differs from mine b/c DH and I chose to live together b4 we got married, it gave me a peek at what regular, everyday life would be like, so I had my time to enjoy him alone. You know that was my choice and its yours' or theirs' to do it different or similar thats the lovley thing about choices

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Posted by BunnyBride

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Posted by carolinebr

We had a baby in March & got married in June. Yes its absolutely wonderful. We love our daughter to death & can't imagine life without her. That being said, I agree with the OP that there is no 'couple time.'

Want to pick up & go out for dinner & drinks with friends? Um, nope. You have a baby. Babies don't go to bars.
Your friends are taking the boat over to Block Island & want to know if you guys want to come...? Nope, can't take a newborn on a boat! What if the seas are rough?
Let's have a romantic weekend getaway in the Hamptons! Who will watch the baby?
Let's hop a flight to Miami! Baby screams for 3 hours straight on the flight & you need 4 Zanax. Oh but you can't take them because you're breastfeeding.
Your friends are having a destination wedding! Oh, too bad. You're breastfeeding & the baby won't take a bottle. You can't go.
And you can just forget about ever having sex again. You'll be too tired.

And it can be very stressful. Even the strongest of couples will find themselves at each other's throats when the baby is on day 6 of screaming & not sleeping. Check out www.lifmailies.com & read some posts in the Parenting room. You'll see women ripping their hair out.

Also the first year of marriage is supposedly the toughest. You might consider getting through that before throwing a baby into the mix.

WOW - didn't mean for this post to sound so negative... yikes!

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Not negative...Just very honest!

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Agreed! This is coming from someone who lives it!

I have a seven year old. Basically I got pregnant at 25 and decided to keep the baby despite knowing his father would leave (which he did and im SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO glad in the long run)

I met FH when aidan was about 5... So FH & I never really had 'that time' together...

Sometimes I wonder what our life would be like if we had time together WITHOUT being parents. But to be honest, Aidan is part of us as a couple. Its the most amazing feeling.
Though I do wish we had some time together as a couple without being parents. So my advice is to give yourself AT least a year...

When I gave birth to my son, I couldnt imagine loving ANYONE this much... then I met FH.

You do what your heart tells you to do.. <333

FH and I got a head start on the babies, lol. Our daughter will be 2 weeks shy of her first birthday at our wedding and we're STILL gonna try for a honeymoon baby even though our families are telling us to wait.

Don't listen to anyone else. You know when you're ready for a little one, not them.

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Posted by carolinebr

We had a baby in March & got married in June. Yes its absolutely wonderful. We love our daughter to death & can't imagine life without her. That being said, I agree with the OP that there is no 'couple time.'

Want to pick up & go out for dinner & drinks with friends? Um, nope. You have a baby. Babies don't go to bars.
Your friends are taking the boat over to Block Island & want to know if you guys want to come...? Nope, can't take a newborn on a boat! What if the seas are rough?
Let's have a romantic weekend getaway in the Hamptons! Who will watch the baby?
Let's hop a flight to Miami! Baby screams for 3 hours straight on the flight & you need 4 Zanax. Oh but you can't take them because you're breastfeeding.
Your friends are having a destination wedding! Oh, too bad. You're breastfeeding & the baby won't take a bottle. You can't go.
And you can just forget about ever having sex again. You'll be too tired.

And it can be very stressful. Even the strongest of couples will find themselves at each other's throats when the baby is on day 6 of screaming & not sleeping. Check out www.lifmailies.com & read some posts in the Parenting room. You'll see women ripping their hair out.

Also the first year of marriage is supposedly the toughest. You might consider getting through that before throwing a baby into the mix.

WOW - didn't mean for this post to sound so negative... yikes!

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I don't think your post was negative at all....it's very honest and I completely agree with you.

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Posted by imas98

I told a guy at work that I don't want kids after he asked me when I was going to have one....he looked at me like I just punched his mother He actually said to me 'what's the point of life if you don't have kids?' I guess I need to go jump off the building because I don't plan to procreate. Some people should just mind their own business.

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JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMP!!!!!!!!!!

i had this discussion with my mom and dad yesterday after hearing about a new study showing that more couples are choosing not to have kids for various reasons. and my dad in his old school machismo ways was like 'if a woman can have kids and CHOOSES not to---there's something wrong with that....that's not a family in my eyes.'

i was like talk about close minded. if my DH said he didn't want kids tomorrow---i'd be just fine with it. he's the one that really wants kids...i'm more on the fence about it. if it happens okay...if it doesn't just as fine.

We already had a head start. Our daughter is turning 2 next week. I wouldn't change things for the world, but it makes life a little tougher. FH & I never had any alone time. We were together a year when I got pregnant & we're both young. I do wish sometimes that FH & I had some time alone to just enjoy being carefree together. I understand why everyone is advising you to wait.

With that said, only you two can know what's right for you. If you feel like your are both ready, then go for it. FH & I are probably going to try again within the first year of marriage. I've had people advising me to wait until we're older especially since we already have one. I like to remind them that I already have a child & I know what it takes to raise one. FH & I have decided that if we feel we're ready, we'll go ahead with trying & if we don't we'll wait longer. It's ultimately up to you. Good luck!