Babies/Children at your wedding...

can i just say that it's been my experience that no matter how you address the envelope, handle the response card, even call word of mouth, people have a way of doing what they want anyway. which is why despite the fact that i didn't want kids there, they're coming anyway. i just hope they don't annoy me. i don't want to fight the dance floor with a 5 year old. yeah yeah, i sound mean. but i don't care. i like kids, but they don't belong at my late-night, adult reception... and yet, oh look, here they come anyway.

GL!!

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Posted by mandyandbrian

can i just say that it's been my experience that no matter how you address the envelope, handle the response card, even call word of mouth, people have a way of doing what they want anyway. which is why despite the fact that i didn't want kids there, they're coming anyway. i just hope they don't annoy me. i don't want to fight the dance floor with a 5 year old. yeah yeah, i sound mean. but i don't care. i like kids, but they don't belong at my late-night, adult reception... and yet, oh look, here they come anyway.

GL!!

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I was starting to feel alone with my feelings about this subject. I am glad I am not the only one!

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Posted by littlepixie12

I feel the same way you do ... we wrote adult reception to follow on our invites ...i love kids so much but IMHO the music is going to be really lound and mostly everyone will be drunk so it wont be the best enviroment for kids. Also the parents wont be able to have a good time either if they have to watch their kids...they only child we are having is the FG (FH niece) who will be 2 by the wedding...

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Did you get any negative response from your invitations?

I think you should do whatever you want. Have them there or dont have them there. Everyone will have to understand and if they dont well then unfortunelty they probably wont come. Im having kids at mine but only our neices and nephews and I still wrote 'Adult reception immedietely following' just so those certain people might get it! But you know what they still didnt get it and as soon as they heard some kids were coming you could tell they were thinking well why cant mine!! But then I would have 50 kids there! and that cant be. So its only our siblings kids.
It honestly doesnt bother me what other people think, as much as that might sound Bridezillish Its my one day to say and do what I want!!!

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Posted by mandyandbrian

can i just say that it's been my experience that no matter how you address the envelope, handle the response card, even call word of mouth, people have a way of doing what they want anyway.
GL!!

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EXACTLY!
What ended up happening at my reception was that couples with young kids ended up leaving early - I'm talking like 9pm early! For a reception that starts at 8pm, coming for one hour was honestly disappointing. Not to sound selfish, but those were 6-7 seats that I could've given to someone else!

My mom said it was wrong to put adult only reception even though I wanted it, so we handled it a few ways... first we put it on our wedding website in a few places. Second we hired babysitters for the hotel which we also put on the website. We are also putting something about the babysitters in the bags on the itinerary. FMIL and mom told everyone they were worried about in a nice way by mentioning the babysitter.

Still to be safe, mom is hiring another babysitter for the RH. Sure we have to feed her but worst case scenario if someone shows up with their kid I will give up the bridal suite and have the babysitter up there with them.

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Posted by pa56

You could fill out the RSVP cards for those with kids by filling in the blank with '2' where it says # attending.

Another good way is word of mouth, like another poster suggested.

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But then how do you know if they just want to come alone? The card will already say 2 and they will have to scratch that number off then fill in one. To me that's a bit strange.

What I would do is have a little checklist.
___ I will be Attending
___ I will be Attending with 1 guest
___ Sorry can't attend

Something to that effect.

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Posted by KerriJohnS
But then how do you know if they just want to come alone? The card will already say 2 and they will have to scratch that number off then fill in one. To me that's a bit strange.

What I would do is have a little checklist.
___ I will be Attending
___ I will be Attending with 1 guest
___ Sorry can't attend

Something to that effect.

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I have seen some RSVP cards like this, where the last blank is filled in by the host:

__ will attend
__ will not attend
__ number attending

__ seats have been reserved in your honor
(this way, people know only you and your husband are invited, not the whole neighborhood)

Funny you should mention this...last weekend the subject was brought up at the dinner table at my FIL's. My FSIL/BM who had a baby in October says, 'So...is the new addition to the family invited to the wedding?' I guess I was hesitant so she says, 'Uh oh...I take that as a no!' So, I said, 'It's not a no, but I think you should be prepared with a babysitter since we are having a band. It's going to be extremely loud and a baby's ears are very sensitive. You and DH will be busy taking pictures and doing wedding party 'duties' that you won't be able to tend to the baby all night.' Well, after the whole family discussed it at the table and couldn't figure out who they could have watch him, she says, 'Oh well! I guess he's coming!' I think I actually saw smoke coming out of my ears!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Posted by nraboni

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Posted by MrsGarcia

I understand why some people might not want them there.. I will be having them there and a 2 month old infant as well.. I have 2 kids and my nieces and 3 of my friends kids.. I just enjoy the little ones dancing their tushes off =)

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And that's awesome for you and if I had kids I would do that same.

It's a tough subject to approach. I have to think about the 'Adult Only Reception' because sometimes people still don't listen to 'word of mouth'.

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Listen' my FH's cousins have alot of kids.. And I don't want them there.. Theres this one set of twins that are horrible!!!!!!!!!!! ANd I'm not wanting that.. The kids coming that I invited are my niece, my godson, 2 helpers, my FSIL's new baby (that will have the rings tied to her little feet) and my daughters ofcorse. These twins are seriously just TERRIBLE. And because my FSIL didn't want them at her wedding the mother and father of them didn't show nor talk to my FSIL.

Now my FBIL is getting crap because he doesn't want these demon children there either I bet I'll hear something next but I'm not having it and I have a mouth to say it. lmao

My invite will say ADULT RECEPTION TO FOLLOW as big as I can make it lol. It is not because I dont want children there... I wish they could come, BUT we simply just can not afford it! I dont have many children on my side, but 80 percent of FH's cousins have kids and that ads up quick! I am hoping I can count on FH's father to pass the word around about no children as well, but I have a feeling he is going to be a push over since he doesnt really like conflict.

My uncle mentioned his brother in laws daughter (who is 2) coming to the wedding and my mom said absolutely not, and explained the sitution of if you let one come then you will cause conflict with FH's side and we will have to invite all children......HIS RESPONSE!?!?! Well we just wont tell them she is coming, and you can pretend u didnt know and they just brought her I think I will go insane!

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Posted by dedecakes

Funny you should mention this...last weekend the subject was brought up at the dinner table at my FIL's. My FSIL/BM who had a baby in October says, 'So...is the new addition to the family invited to the wedding?' I guess I was hesitant so she says, 'Uh oh...I take that as a no!' So, I said, 'It's not a no, but I think you should be prepared with a babysitter since we are having a band. It's going to be extremely loud and a baby's ears are very sensitive. You and DH will be busy taking pictures and doing wedding party 'duties' that you won't be able to tend to the baby all night.' Well, after the whole family discussed it at the table and couldn't figure out who they could have watch him, she says, 'Oh well! I guess he's coming!' I think I actually saw smoke coming out of my ears!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Seriously...I think I would have lost my sh*t when she said that. HIRE A BABYSITTER or find someone on the other side of the family to watch the child.

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Posted by pa56

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Posted by KerriJohnS
But then how do you know if they just want to come alone? The card will already say 2 and they will have to scratch that number off then fill in one. To me that's a bit strange.

What I would do is have a little checklist.
___ I will be Attending
___ I will be Attending with 1 guest
___ Sorry can't attend

Something to that effect.

---

I have seen some RSVP cards like this, where the last blank is filled in by the host:

__ will attend
__ will not attend
__ number attending

__ seats have been reserved in your honor
(this way, people know only you and your husband are invited, not the whole neighborhood)

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I love that idea! I think will do that and the 'Adult Only Reception'

it was by word of mouth - and also the invites were not addressed to the 'family' just to the Mr. & Mrs.

we started spreading the word before we even booked the hall or set a date there was a strict no kids policy hahahaha