We asked one of my BM and one of FH's ushers to be in the wedding this past weekend (they are married) Ok so she is due to have a baby in the beginning of July which I am sooooo happy about. I couldn't be more excited for them. They are also from NJ, where I currently live. However, the usher's parents are also invited to the wedding since FH is close with his whole family. Now here's the kicker, They think they're bringing the baby to the wedding, rehearsal dinner, etc. (remind you she has family here that can watch the baby at this particular time, mom, sister, etc) SO THEY THINK THEY'RE BRINGING THE BABY. FH said to his usher no Im sorry we are not having any kids at the wedding at all. So I can definitley understand a new Mom not wanting to the leave the baby 100% can understand. But what do I do ? I do not want a baby crying during the ceremony, reception, etc?? Am I wrong?
bettybcafe
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Re: Baby at the wedding GRRR
No I agree with you 100%..that is a tough situation tho...I really hope she understands..
gonzo23456
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Re: Baby at the wedding GRRR
I think it all comes down to a personal decision. I am in a similar situation but mine is family (so it is a bit different). I am going to have 6 kids plus 1 baby. My sister is giving birth in April and my nephew will be in the wedding and at the reception. For me, I don't care because I could not imagine the wedding without them. Do what makes you feel comfortable.
eelharas4700
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Re: Baby at the wedding GRRR
well a few years ago when my fsil was getting married, my fbil (her brother) had his 2 kids in the wedding not that they were that young, but they thought they would be fine with having the 2 kids there well they barely made it through the cocktail hour before fh friend took them home to a last minute sitter.....as it gets closer they may change there mind. but i can totally understand where you are coming from. it would be different if there was absolutely no one to watch them.
TLC1018
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Re: Baby at the wedding GRRR
Nope...I agree with you too!
mskittynj
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Re: Baby at the wedding GRRR
You are NOT wrong!!!!!!!! Stick to your guns hunny!!!!!!!! XOXOXO Kitty
MJDoc12
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Re: Baby at the wedding GRRR
nope...you're not wrong at all. you have given them fair notice and it's not fair to make an exception, if you have a 'no kids' rule.
but be careful, they will say they understand NOW, but after the baby comes and it's crunch time, i guarantee you this isssue will come up again and they will try and guilt you into it by saying 'we just don't want to leave the baby....if the baby doesn't go...we won't!'
JazzyT
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Re: Baby at the wedding GRRR
No you are not wrong if her baby cries during your ceremony its not like she or her DH can stop and take care of the baby so I don't see the need for the baby to be there. JMO I would leave my baby with my mother
Tiggeruth
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Re: Baby at the wedding GRRR
If you knew she was pregnant when you asked her then you had to be aware of this being a real possibility. I woudn't be able to ask someone to leave their new born home, if she is breast feeding then she def can't be away from the baby all day. I was very pro kids at my wedding and it turned out awesome. My little nephew got up and started running around a little at the church, then my brother who was a grooms man ending up taking him out and standing in the back, but everyone got a kick out of it and thought it was cute. Plus, having your wedding interupted by the sounds of a crying baby is supposed to be good luck.
I also think that if you really want to stick to the no kids rule, allowing a BM to bring their newborn does not really interfere with that. It would be a special circumstance type of thing.
cmrcmr0430
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Re: Baby at the wedding GRRR
I agree with you...no kids...means...NO KIDS!!
Marchbride07
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Re: Baby at the wedding GRRR
I agree 100% It is understanding how she might not want to leave the baby, but the baby will be 3 months old and its not like she is leaving him/her overnight...she can always go after the reception and pick the baby up..>I have never heard of someone even contemplating that...Receptions are geared towards adults..
GL!
carolinebr
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Re: Baby at the wedding GRRR
Sorry all, I am all for the 'no kids at weddings' thing but newborn is kind of different. It is a 'special circumstance.' I agree with the above poster that you knew she was pregnant when you asked her. I know your wedding is 'your day' but you might have to make a few small exceptions. People are very protective of their children & insulting their baby won't help, so be careful how you approach this.
Honestly, at 3 months old, all this baby will do is sleep. Its not like it'll be a screaming, unruly child viciously running around ruining your wedding.
Also, if the mother is breastfeeding, she needs to have the kid with her. She will need to bfeed every 2 or 3 hours. If a kid is accustomed to breastfeeding & then suddenly you give them a bottle, it can actually spoil your feeding routine. It's called 'nipple confusion' (I swear I did not make that up) and then you may not be able to get them to take the breast anymore.
If you are THAT adamant about not having their baby there, you may have to consider un-inviting them from your bridal party and risk them not attending.
werock0709
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Re: Baby at the wedding GRRR
Well, I have a 6 month old, and he will be 11 months by the time of my wedding. I love him to death, but we're not having him at the church. We hired someone to watch him for the whole day, but she will bring him after the ceremony is over, so we can take some pictures. I couldn't imagine having an infant at a wedding, let alone my own son. At these stages in their lives, their VERY needy, and when they don't get what thay want, their not happy, and the screaming begins. I have to say I'm with ya on this. Hope all works out for you!
neener1211
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Re: Baby at the wedding GRRR
I'm with you on this one, I am not having any child that is not old enough to walk at the wedding.
Even FSIL's daughter who will be 6 months by then, is not invited to the reception. I told them, if you want to bring her to the ceremony, go ahead, but be willing to take her out when crying. But the baby is not invited to the reception. I stuck to my guns on this one with much protest from fsil. Oh well, it's our wedding, deal.
SoulMates422
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Re: Baby at the wedding GRRR
You are not wrong at all. I am sure if this is explained to her she will understand. A wedding is just not the place for a newborn and I am sure that she does not want her newborn in that type of environment.
sunflower13
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Re: Baby at the wedding GRRR
I am with you on this one...we are also not having children at our wedding. But if you let one person you have to let everyone. Just be strong and stand your ground. It's your decision and you have a right to it. A friend, cousin someone can watch the baby.
AeroJenn
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Re: Baby at the wedding GRRR
Posted by carolinebr
Sorry all, I am all for the 'no kids at weddings' thing but newborn is kind of different. It is a 'special circumstance.' I agree with the above poster that you knew she was pregnant when you asked her. I know your wedding is 'your day' but you might have to make a few small exceptions. People are very protective of their children & insulting their baby won't help, so be careful how you approach this.
Honestly, at 3 months old, all this baby will do is sleep. Its not like it'll be a screaming, unruly child viciously running around ruining your wedding.
Also, if the mother is breastfeeding, she needs to have the kid with her. She will need to bfeed every 2 or 3 hours. If a kid is accustomed to breastfeeding & then suddenly you give them a bottle, it can actually spoil your feeding routine. It's called 'nipple confusion' (I swear I did not make that up) and then you may not be able to get them to take the breast anymore.
If you are THAT adamant about not having their baby there, you may have to consider un-inviting them from your bridal party and risk them not attending.
I have to agree with this. i too am normally a 'no kids at the reception' kind of gal, but in this situation its different. You KNEW she was due right before the wedding when you asked them. Many mothers are just not comfortable with leaving their newborns at home.... I would say if you really can bear to make this excpetion, you should consider not having them in the BP.
Meaghan729
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Re: Baby at the wedding GRRR
since when did people's social lives stop when having kids?
Seriously, I NEVER went to a wedding when I was a kid, unless I was the flower girl!
I didnt go to my uncles wedding, I was 6. my parents left me with a sitter.
People need to get over themselves - imo its inappropriate to bring an infant to a wedding.
FSIL asked if she would bring her infant twins (who will be 8 mos old) - mind you their two year old is the flower girl and they are BOTH in the wedding (we asked them before she was pg with the twins)- how are you going to watch all those kids while being in the wedding...I want them to have a good time not chase aroudn three kids!
MF9282
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Re: Baby at the wedding GRRR
Geez I LOVE babies but they just should not be going everywhee with parents, esp. if they can easily find a babysitter!!! I don't get it. Ya know 4 and up is fine but cmon any under??? MY FSIL and FMIL couldn't believe I thought that she was going to leave her infant home (she is due in July hellooooo too young to be at the Church crying during our ceremony!!). I am having kids just bc my young cousins and FH's nepher is in the wedding but cmon infants??? It's a wedding not a zoo!!! Leave em home!!!!!
EastEndBride
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Re: Baby at the wedding GRRR
personally i understand how hard it can be for a mother to leave a baby who's just a few months old with others, especially if she's breast feeding, etc. however i do think mom can survive a few hours without the baby. maybe a compromise that baby can skip the RD, attend the ceremony & get picked up by babysitter before the reception begins? do whatever you feel is right. if you don't want any kids then the parents will have to chose whether or not to come to the wedding, or how long they stay without the baby, etc. you can't please everyone, so don't let it become your headache.
