Lately i have been hearing so many disturbing (and skeevy) stories! I am starting to feel like telling my FH what he can/can't do for his... Am I alone???? Does anyone have any thoughts on this?
smooch
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Re: Bachelor parties...
unfortunatley as much as you trust your FH, you don't know what is going to happen. your FH could be so drunk that he is incapable of making a rational decision. friends can be huge influencers esp if someone's state of mind is seriously altered.
the whole idea of bachelor parties is fundamentally flawed. here are two people in love ready to commit their entire lives to each other, and the bachelor party attempts to undermine all of that by showing the bachelor one last good time. but what about the good times that lay ahead? why does the bachelor need to have some girl shake her a$$ in his face and rub her probably fake boobs all over him, smooshing his face between them? just to ruin the years of trust and respect built up between the bride and groom?
sure, the bachelor probably totally regrets it after the fact, but he still was a willing particpant, wasn't he?
(edited to fix spelling mistake)
71903
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Re: Bachelor parties...
I hate to say it, but as soon as they get into that limo he is out of control. MY FH had a BBQ and was wasted by the time he got into the limo. So of course with 20 guys yelling strip club to the driver he ended up at Gossips. He told me everything, but six lap dances later I am still upset. He says what was I suppose to do guys just kept buying me lap dances. I just sat there while they danced in front of me, that's all nothing happened. Well, he promised me no strippers too, but as you can see it is not up to him. It is more like where the other 20 guys at the bach party want to drag him. I have to say I am more upset with his so called friends. Well, we are getting married in less than three weeks and I can't say that I am over it.
Jordan
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Re: Bachelor parties...
It's become tradition in FHs family to have a 'go away for the weekend bachelor party'. I think his brother (1 of his 2 best men/1 of his 2 btothers) is planning the BP in Vegas. I plan on going to the Hamptons for the weekend, stay at my stepmom's house. I trust his brothers and cousin & BILs...it's the 'work friend bach parties' that chap my a$$ a little...I've been with them at strip clubs, I know first hand how hard they tried to get FH to have a lap dance and how they each went to 'private rooms' for LDs.
But, c'est la vie - it's up to my FH to say what he wants and doesn't want and I'm fine with that. To be honest, he's more concerned with me staying in the Hamptons (since I used to live out there and my ex b4 him still lives out there)...which is silly, imo...I'd much rather stir up some trouble in Vegas!
smooch
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Re: Bachelor parties...
71903 - how are you dealing with it? how is fh dealing with it? if too personal, you don't need to answer. i just don't know how i'd get over something like that. anger is a phase but what about the disappointment, the lack of respect, and the fear?
goldilocks
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Re: Bachelor parties...
I am with all the girls who are upset about the hoochie-girl clubs. My FH promised no strippers and his BM (brother) knows this. This is due to many past fights about this issue. His friends bach party in AC almost ended us. They were ALL nude there! If it's okay for me to have bare c**k in my face and getting a lap dance with it out, then go to your strip club. But it's not okay for any guy when the tables are turned that far. At this point, he knows how much it bothers me (to tears actually) and that's why he doesn't go to them and won't have any at his b-party. I think you really need to make it clear what you can and can't handle, not what he can and can't do, but phrase it like it hurts you. That's how I finally got my FH to get it. They see it as just harmless fun b/c the girls mean nothing to them. YOU mean something to them. The whole concept su**s, celebrating your last day as a single person, rather than the commitment you are making.
71903
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Re: Bachelor parties...
emdonlon- I don't know how I am fully going to get over it. I just have to believe him that they just danced in front of him, no lap, and he did not touch. What else am I going to do???? We are getting married in three weeks. I mean he is still the man I want to marry and start a family with. I'm I suppose to throw all that away because his dumb A55 friends dragged him to a strip club and kept giving girls $ to go do a dance for him. I am just going to have to bury it way down deep.
goldilocks
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Re: Bachelor parties...
71903 - If it's any help, from what I've heard about Gossip, it's pretty strict about touching and stuff. It's suppsedly a 'high class strip club' which is really an oxymoron. But it's not as bad as most. That's what I've heard anyway.
eroxgirl
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Re: Bachelor parties...
I don't know, personally I don't care really. He's not a big fan of strippers, but his friends are. We were just talking about this the other day too. I said go! Have a good time! The only request was that it be a more upscale strip joint instead of the nasty ones that his friends go to. I don't care if he gets lap dances either - its not like he's going to actually mess around w/ these girls.
71903
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Re: Bachelor parties...
Thanks
Sassyz75
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Re: Bachelor parties...
My DH didn't have a BP- THANK GOD- but he is a v. mellow guy and not really into strippers & stuff.. he gets uptight when I act dirty LOL- But- my point is we're saving money & you are gonna waste it throwing it at some stranger? Heck no!
Rob-luvs-me
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Re: Bachelor parties...
Fh is having an issue now - he is best man in his best friends wedding and one of the GM told this guy that he is having strippers - neither the groom nor FH want then there - and both have told him under NO circumstances will this be happening but they know this guy will get them there somehow. The issue is that this guy is sleezy - he even hit on me infront of FH once- and they KNOW he gets out of hand - they worry about what GM will try to get groom to do.
I'm lucky FH has been to these parties and is not interested in doing that for his own party - he is purposefully not inviting this friend so that there will be no issue - but he is concerned about what our BM (his brother) will try to do - FH wants to get a limo- go to an islanders game - go to dinner and have some drinks - night out with the guys but nothing worrisome. I trust my FH - he is not the get drunk and do something stupid and he is NOT the guys talked me into type - so I think it is only worrisome when your FH has friends who can convince him to do things that he might not ordinarily do
71903
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Re: Bachelor parties...
My FH is not the stripper type either, but some of his friends are. He is the type of guy that if 20 guys want to go somewhere he is not going to be the one to say no we are not going. I just wish after the first couple of dances he could have been ok that is enough. He is the type that wants to make everyone happy. He says that he was just BSing with a couple of guys driniking beers and some of the other guys sent a girl over to go a little dance, and then another, and another, and so on. He felt weird to say no after the guys paid for the dance. He said it was innocent enough, I just wish I could have been a fly on the wall. He had no intention of going there or getting any dances. It was all the other guys who said to go and bought the dances.
smooch
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Re: Bachelor parties...
What if the friends didn't pay for one/some of the dances?
alina
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Re: Bachelor parties...
FH had his bch. party 10 days ago or so (2 weeks before the wedding), and I knew that he was going to strip club, and even which one, and when he got home, he told me the whole story, and who strippers were, etc. Since he doesnt' go to these places on a regular basis and didn't stay overnight I wasn't worried. Its gross, but its a guy thing to do...
Annemarie13
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Re: Bachelor parties...
I trust my FI completely and he has been gone to strip clubs in the past. He is always honest w/ me about what goes on so it doesnt bother me.
But there are more hoochies out there in regular so- called clubs that I would be more worried about.
