Bachelor parties...

Annieb Posted: Jul 01, 2003 02:56 PM

Bachelor parties...

Lately i have been hearing so many disturbing (and skeevy) stories! I am starting to feel like telling my FH what he can/can't do for his...
Am I alone????
Does anyone have any thoughts on this?

AtticaQT Posted: Jul 01, 2003 03:00 PM

Re: Bachelor parties...

I actually feel the same way but i didnt have to tell him i dont want him to have one because he doesnt want to have one. We are planning instead to have a joint party with our bridal party and just take a trip to Atlantic City for the weekend...

cookiek1 Posted: Jul 01, 2003 03:02 PM

Re: Bachelor parties...

Hi~~ I have also heard some pretty scary stories.... but I wouldn't dictate any rules regarding the bachelore party. I mean if you can't trust him at that point why bother marrying him.

Annieb Posted: Jul 01, 2003 03:03 PM

Re: Bachelor parties...

I agree but, i'm not sure if that is all it comes down to...i think that it is more about trusting his friends...from what i hear anyway....

nrvbrd Posted: Jul 01, 2003 03:05 PM

Re: Bachelor parties...

If your FH wanted to do 'something', he would not wait for his bachelor party to do so.

Don't worry, it is all good fun!!!

Boop2704 Posted: Jul 01, 2003 03:05 PM

Re: Bachelor parties...

I hate the idea of the bachelor party. But, I just have to trust FH and hope he behaves. I don't want to tell him what to do, because I don't want him to tell me what to do. I have heard some pretty bad stories of bachelor parties he has been to and what went on, but I am lucky because my brother will be at his and my brother is very over protective of me so he'll keep an eye on FH and make sure he doesn't do anything too awful.

MarcellaBella Posted: Jul 01, 2003 03:09 PM

Re: Bachelor parties...

I've also heard some gross stories.. but you know your FH and frankly, I would NEVER tell Todd what to do or not to do.. he knows what to do.. We're both leaving this Thursday for both of our respective bach/ette parties..

he's going to vegas and I'm going to South Beach and I am thrilled! He is also very happy b/c it's HIS bach. party.. he's been to soo many and now it's finally one where he's in the spotlight..

jenny2penny Posted: Jul 01, 2003 03:14 PM

Re: Bachelor parties...

I agree with Marcella (have good time)

julybride444 Posted: Jul 01, 2003 05:31 PM

Re: Bachelor parties...

Yup,

I asked FH not to have a stripper in private (i.e. hotel room). He didn't want one anyway, but probably wouldn't have said anything to the best man without my request.

So, he actually told them no strippers period (not at my request) and they are going to a baseball game, steak dinner and bar.

He had one request too! No one eating candy off my chest! He he.

I think it's perfectly fair to ask FH not to do something that will make you terribly uncomfortable, the entire relationship for the rest of our lives will be about a little bit of compromise as well as trust.

Scoop Posted: Jul 01, 2003 05:35 PM

Re: Bachelor parties...

no...I trust my husband completely and it did help that I had 2 of my brothers and 5 of my cousin's at this bachelor party. s

TESS Posted: Jul 01, 2003 06:56 PM

Re: Bachelor parties...

I am so sick over the thought of my FH having a bachelor party. I mean what makes it ok for a almost naked woman to sit on his lap the week before he weds!???? I am trying to get him to to the joint party in AC. Now my next problem is his brother will be married before us and my FH is the BM how can I tell him what kind of bachelor party to have for him?

Jan60504 Posted: Jul 01, 2003 07:59 PM

Re: Bachelor parties...

I don't want to make anyone nervous, but it's not quite as simple as trusting your FH. You also have to be able to trust all of the other males who will be at his party, AND you have to be able to trust them ALL while they are inebriated! Sure, your FH may be completely committed to you and you can trust him completely - under normal circumstances. But when he's being practically forced to, shall we say 'behave badly' by his closest buds, and he is probably the drunkest he has been in a long time... let's just say it can become, and has become for some people, a problem. Particularly a friend of mine. Yes, they got married and are still together and he would NEVER WANT to do anything to hurt her, but at his bachelor party, things got carried away, and they started their marriage in a deep hole - it has taken counseling and a whole year to get them back on track. He hasn't gotten over hating himself for it and she is still terribly hurt if she thinks about it. So, needless to say, in my case, much as I trust my FH, out of control bachelor/bachelorette parties are out of the question. Just be careful - don't let one night of drunken partying ruin all of the fun of being a newlywed. If you can avoid it - I say do!

lilmrs Posted: Jul 01, 2003 08:08 PM

Re: Bachelor parties...

whew...Ia m so thankful that hubby did not want one of these at all.

Annieb Posted: Jul 01, 2003 08:15 PM

Re: Bachelor parties...

Jan-Thanks for your post! That is totally what i have been telling my FH. I had the SAME situation happen to one of my best friends...the funny thing is that in her case, her FH did not even want the whole bachelor party...all he wanted was a weekend of golf! Then one of his Groomsmen surprised him (after they had all gotten COMPLETELY WASTED) and had a stripper show up at their hotel! I will just end the story there but, let me tell you...my friend STILL wonders what went on that night.

eternityawaits Posted: Jul 01, 2003 08:21 PM

Re: Bachelor parties...

I am actually planning on having a little talk with FH tonight and politely requesting no strippers or strip clubs.. if they want to go to a bar, or dinner or whatever FINE but no half-naked skeevy chicks. I'm just a little concerned because the guys from the fire department are probably going to do something and they are all a******* and I don't trust them.

AtticaQT Posted: Jul 01, 2003 08:29 PM

Re: Bachelor parties...

Finally...i dont feel wierd anymore...this is exactly how i feel - no strip clubs...there was a post before regarding bachelor parties and i didnt dare post my position bec i thought i would be attacked. I do trust FH 100%, but alcohol and sleazy friends are a BAD combo.

eternityawaits Posted: Jul 01, 2003 08:41 PM

Re: Bachelor parties...

my only conditions are no strippers/strip clubs and NO OVERNIGHT - no hotel! I don't trust his friends (I know that sounds bad, but 2 of his friends do a LOT of drugs, and a lot are big drinkers - not that he does it, but I don't trust that combination) I'm not even having a bachelorette party just so there are no problems.. maybe a spa day though

AtticaQT Posted: Jul 01, 2003 08:45 PM

Re: Bachelor parties...

My FH did an overnight at a hotel in AC for a friends bachelor party so you can imagine how I was.

eternityawaits Posted: Jul 01, 2003 09:41 PM

Re: Bachelor parties...

Now that I think about it.. I'm having a hard time getting up the nerve to have this talk with FH... I don't want to come across as not trusting him, and I don't want to sound like I hate his friends or anything either (even though some of them I do) I know I'm not going to feel better unless I say something though.

I think I'm going to call FSIL and see if I can get her bf involved in the planning of it.. he is a good guy and I know he won't let anything bad happen.

daisybride Posted: Jul 02, 2003 09:07 AM

Re: Bachelor parties...

Don is totally trustworthy and not a stripper kind of guy; however, he as some pretty skeezy friends and at one of his groomsmens bachelor parties they hired prostitutes. I know the idea of this will gross Don out, but with the stripper thing I'm sure he will probably get a lap dance only because his friends are around and he won't want to look whipped. It doesn't make me happy by any means, but there is nothing I can really do about it. I jus hope he has fun, GOOD, CLEAN, fun. Because I know I will have fun at mine!!!