Bachelor Party?

i don't conisder myself a jealous person, but i'm feeling sore about the bachelor party. guys i know have told me stories that make me cringe everytime i imagine trusting the bm to plan something respectful of our wishes.

what are your feelings on fh's bachelor party?

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Posted by beram63

i don't conisder myself a jealous person, but i'm feeling sore about the bachelor party. guys i know have told me stories that make me cringe everytime i imagine trusting the bm to plan something respectful of our wishes.

what are your feelings on fh's bachelor party?

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Honestly I'm happy that hes going to get a night out with the guys. I trust my FH 110% and hes not the type to want strippers or to waste his life savings in a casino...
But he busts his *** working 24/7 so I dont mind really at all that he's going to have a night to himself..

We are still throwing around the idea of doing a joint party in Vegas or something, theres so much to do there...but who knows lol we have so much time to figure it all out

i made a deal with the bm that the only way fh is getting a stripper is if shes 5000#'s and its a completely joke and hes utterly disgusted by it... LOL

now, if that happens, we'll see... fh hates goign to strip clubs, he thinks its a waste of $$ and just retarded, but theprob is hes def going to montreal for a weekend for his... i've been there b4 with him, personally didnt see it as a big deal... heck, i even went to a strip club with him sooo it doesnt worry me toooo much

i try not to think about it since its like 1 1/2 yrs away

I don't care...I told him that I don't mind him having strippers or going to a strip club as long as he doesn't get touched or grinded on I am good.

I trust him and I know he isn't really into those things, but I KNOW his guys are so going to do something like that....I want him to have fun...with boundaries... and that goes for me too!!!

Hmmm......I think that all guys say that they hate strippers - i mean what guy, in a committed relationship is going to say that he loves strippers? I've never heard any guy admitting to liking them but these are the same guys that i know have visited a club or too - more than once in their lifetime....so even though FH says that he doesnt like strippers I'm not so sure that I believe him 100%.....Yeah - he def doesn't want to marry a stripper, or take her home to Mom, or have her be the mother of his children BUT if the girl is drop dead gorgeous, has an amazing body, and is naked in front him - he has to be CRAZY if he doesn't get turned on just a little bit...I've even gone to strip clubs and have seen really beautiful girls and have admired them as well (well for me it was more like wishing that I had that a$$, or long legs, or those boobs) but anways just because men say that they don't like strip clubs, or strippers, and they think its gross - I am pretty sure that they aren't going to mind when the most beautiful girl in the club is rubbing herself on him, and moaning in his ear - especially since on top of that he is probably DRUNK and enjoying the moment......SO with that said, I trust my FH completely but I am not naive and I KNOW he is going to end up at a strip club for his BP and I KNOW that at some point he will probably be turned on by the naked girl shaking her stuff on him....So I am totally understanding how you feel - I don't know how I am going to deal with it when the times comes - but I have a feeling it will include alcohol and my girlfriends ....But hey, almost all guys do this, its practically a ritual and I would actually feel guilty if FH didn't go to a strip club for his bachelor party.....Its just one of those things I guess....Its a cheap thrill - its a tease and its one night.....I mean you wouldn't be marrying him if you didn't trust him - but I think its okay to feel a little uncomfortable about the idea - i think its pretty normal actually - I wouldn't worry about it too much....
PS men suck

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Posted by Future Mulligan

Hmmm......I think that all guys say that they hate strippers - i mean what guy, in a committed relationship is going to say that he loves strippers? I've never heard any guy admitting to liking them but these are the same guys that i know have visited a club or too - more than once in their lifetime....so even though FH says that he doesnt like strippers I'm not so sure that I believe him 100%.....Yeah - he def doesn't want to marry a stripper, or take her home to Mom, or have her be the mother of his children BUT if the girl is drop dead gorgeous, has an amazing body, and is naked in front him - he has to be CRAZY if he doesn't get turned on just a little bit...I've even gone to strip clubs and have seen really beautiful girls and have admired them as well (well for me it was more like wishing that I had that a$$, or long legs, or those boobs) but anways just because men say that they don't like strip clubs, or strippers, and they think its gross - I am pretty sure that they aren't going to mind when the most beautiful girl in the club is rubbing herself on him, and moaning in his ear - especially since on top of that he is probably DRUNK and enjoying the moment......SO with that said, I trust my FH completely but I am not naive and I KNOW he is going to end up at a strip club for his BP and I KNOW that at some point he will probably be turned on by the naked girl shaking her stuff on him....So I am totally understanding how you feel - I don't know how I am going to deal with it when the times comes - but I have a feeling it will include alcohol and my girlfriends ....But hey, almost all guys do this, its practically a ritual and I would actually feel guilty if FH didn't go to a strip club for his bachelor party.....Its just one of those things I guess....Its a cheap thrill - its a tease and its one night.....I mean you wouldn't be marrying him if you didn't trust him - but I think its okay to feel a little uncomfortable about the idea - i think its pretty normal actually - I wouldn't worry about it too much....
PS men suck

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well said! i second that lol

I COMPLETELY understand where you are coming from.

I can be jealous at times, but overall I'm pretty laid-back and I don't tell DH what to do. For me, as long as they don't get in trouble or hurt anybody--fine.

The bahelor party was a BIG deal though. DH is not into strippers of strip clubs (every time he's gone to a bachelor party at one or with strippers, he ends up getting wasted really fast and falling asleep or hanging out outside with a bunch of other guys) and made that perfectly clear. His brother though was in charge and didn't ask for help--nor did he ask DH what he wanted to do. BIL thought it would be great to hire a couple of strippes and rent out the firehouse and just have a party. I was livid, because that was the ONE thing I was against (and my girls made sure they were respectful of DH's boundaries before planning a bachelorette party). I felt completely betrayed.

The strippers were a complete bust though and everyone who went said they had an awful time and that it was the worst bachelor party they had ever been to. DH wishes he had never had one because of what his brother set up and how inconsiderate he was of his wishes and what he had wanted to do.

Suffice it to say, it's not a matter of trusting DH...for me it's a matter of trusting the people around him....

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Posted by dgirl0114

I second that!!

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Sometimes I don't think guys understand that though...that it's not THEM we don't trust...it's the people around them. I always tell DH that it's the group mentality thing that throws off the trust factor....

bottom line is - if the whole thing makes you uncomfortable, then u need to talk to your man about it & make it CLEAR that it's going to hurt you. If he loves you, he will respect you & hopefully make it clear to his guys...If he's a great trustworthy guy, he's not going to want to hurt the person he loves the most right before your wedding. There are plenty of girls who dont mind this sort of thing, but then there are some that do - and there is nothing wrong with that. There are plenty of things your man can do the night of his bachelor party with the guys that DOESN'T INVOLVE strippers. I was lucky enough to have a great hubby and a great group of groomsmen to respect that. Communication is key...if it bothers you than u need to speak up..and NOT in a non-challant way. You want him to have a fun boys night...just not with naked women lol...it's totally understandable. Talk to him heart to heart and tell him its also important he speaks with his guys....it's VERY easy to get wasted and end up somewhere u don't want be...so he should keep clear of anywhere or anything that might be tempting or lead him to a bad situation if he happens to be 'under the influence' lol. good luck & keep us updated! i hope everything works out

fh and i had a conversation about it early on and when i asked him what he imagined for a bachelor party he replied (sorry for the language, but it's a quote) 'probably your standard dild0 party,' which i've learned includes 2 girls + props. he gave me this whole thing about how i should trust him not to cross boundaries, but my boundaries are that if another woman touches him i'm going to freak, and there's NO WAY he's going to get out of that situation without so much as a lap dance. let's be real, now. so, i asked him what his feelings would be if i were out doing the same thing, and of course this bothered him, so we agreed to leave sex out of the equation for those parties.

but every conversation we have about it is punctuated with the following statement:

'i'm not the one who's planning it anyway. how am i going to know what billy's putting together?'

billy i don't trust, and my brother is also a questionable influence.

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Posted by beram63

fh and i had a conversation about it early on and when i asked him what he imagined for a bachelor party he replied (sorry for the language, but it's a quote) 'probably your standard dild0 party,' which i've learned includes 2 girls + props. he gave me this whole thing about how i should trust him not to cross boundaries, but my boundaries are that if another woman touches him i'm going to freak, and there's NO WAY he's going to get out of that situation without so much as a lap dance. let's be real, now. so, i asked him what his feelings would be if i were out doing the same thing, and of course this bothered him, so we agreed to leave sex out of the equation for those parties.

but every conversation we have about it is punctuated with the following statement:

'i'm not the one who's planning it anyway. how am i going to know what billy's putting together?'

billy i don't trust, and my brother is also a questionable influence.

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where do you find people to put on that type of show anyway?

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Posted by FutureMrsC

I can be a little jealous at times too even though I know I have reason to be. I trust FH so I know I have nothing to worry about. Besides, my brother will be there so I know he'll be keeping watch lol!!!

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Fh just had his and I was totally fine if they ended up at a
'gentlemen's club.' I trust him a 110% but I would tease him and say 'remember, my brother is going and he would sell you out on a dime.'

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Posted by beram63

fh and i had a conversation about it early on and when i asked him what he imagined for a bachelor party he replied (sorry for the language, but it's a quote) 'probably your standard dild0 party,' which i've learned includes 2 girls + props. he gave me this whole thing about how i should trust him not to cross boundaries, but my boundaries are that if another woman touches him i'm going to freak, and there's NO WAY he's going to get out of that situation without so much as a lap dance. let's be real, now. so, i asked him what his feelings would be if i were out doing the same thing, and of course this bothered him, so we agreed to leave sex out of the equation for those parties.

but every conversation we have about it is punctuated with the following statement:

'i'm not the one who's planning it anyway. how am i going to know what billy's putting together?'

billy i don't trust, and my brother is also a questionable influence.

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yea i hear ya! girls and props is utterly disgusting... yuck... and yea i dont like the touching either... it annoys be beyond belief! and then theres always girls on here saying 'oh that must mean u dont trust him' when its not like that at all! i find it very disrespectful... its like u didnt do that **** when we were dating but ur gonna do it like a week before our wedding? that i just dont get