Bachelor Party?

I think that if you hold back your FH and he isn't allowed to do what he wants (with in reason lol) then he will be resentful. I know mine would be. Mines going to Vegas and that weekend I don't want calls from him or even know what he's doing. That weekend I want to be incomunicado.I trust him and even if he sees strippers or who knows what else I know he's coming home to me.

For those of you doing joint vegas trips...I heard some horror stories about that, and I wouldn't be a good person if i didn't give a heads up about it.

---

Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

---

Posted by beram63

fh and i had a conversation about it early on and when i asked him what he imagined for a bachelor party he replied (sorry for the language, but it's a quote) 'probably your standard dild0 party,' which i've learned includes 2 girls + props. he gave me this whole thing about how i should trust him not to cross boundaries, but my boundaries are that if another woman touches him i'm going to freak, and there's NO WAY he's going to get out of that situation without so much as a lap dance. let's be real, now. so, i asked him what his feelings would be if i were out doing the same thing, and of course this bothered him, so we agreed to leave sex out of the equation for those parties.

but every conversation we have about it is punctuated with the following statement:

'i'm not the one who's planning it anyway. how am i going to know what billy's putting together?'

billy i don't trust, and my brother is also a questionable influence.

---

yea i hear ya! girls and props is utterly disgusting... yuck... and yea i dont like the touching either... it annoys be beyond belief! and then theres always girls on here saying 'oh that must mean u dont trust him' when its not like that at all! i find it very disrespectful... its like u didnt do that **** when we were dating but ur gonna do it like a week before our wedding? that i just dont get

---

That's true. It's not a 'I don't trust him issue.'

Our Best Man (DH's brother) was INCREDIBLY inconsiderate about the whole situation and refused to take to heart what DH's wishes were, as well as, my boundaries. I completely blew up on him and felt that he took what trust we had and stomped on it and threw it in the garbage. He thought I overreacted, but my friends went out of their way to find out what our boundaries were and what I did and did not want to do and work around it and find something that everyone would enjoy.

I think that oftentimes, during the whole planning process the planners lose sight of what the night is supposed to be about and who it's for. I was finding that people were using it as an excuse to plan something THEY wanted to do as opposed to something the groom wanted to do.

---

Posted by jtgarsik

i've stated my opinion already and now i'm adding on lol....i know there are a lot of girls who don't mind this sort of thing, and that's fine, but it bothers YOU. and that's what matters. and i'm sorry but to me, cheating is much more than just a physical thing. Your eyes are the windows to your soul, and when your lustfully enjoying naked women dildo each other with strapons, i dont see the difference...there's plenty that can make something an 'unfaithful' situation...and i dont think there's anything FAITHFUL about feasting your eyes on naked women. again i stated my opinion earlier - if it bothers you, SPEAK UP for real...i think 'i dont know what they're planning' is the oldest excuse in the book. ur FH is a big boy & can speak up for himself to his guys. jmo. keep us updated!

---

right on sister!! hehe Totally agree 100%

My FH doesnt do strippers or anything of the sort...
However I talked to some of his guys/best friends and told them to make him have FUN!!!
I WANT him to have strippers and lap dances and get drunk... I want him to have a good time with funny memories, etc.... And I wanna see pictures of him having a blast!
I dont mind.. I used to but, he's all mine and I know he is coming home to me and thats that. I trust him 110% and I know for a FACT that he would NEVER do anything to ruin our life together....
I cant wait for him to have his BP...

---

Posted by IrishBrideASmiling

I think if you stress out about what 'might' happen you will just drive yourself crazy.

---

This is so true!! I can't even begin to say how many times I stressed myself over things that NEVER happened!!!! The bp is a ways away so just enjoy this time planning your wedding and worry about it when the time comes!

I completely and untterly agree with Taryn, if you are not comfortable with certain things voice it. Me, personally I didnt mind and really didnt care what they did for DHs party. I trusted him and wanted him to have a good time with his 'boys' most of which are married or in serious relationships.

In the end, there were no strippers, they went to AC for the weekend and had a good time together.

I would definitely speak up and tell him that it will hurt you immensely if such and such occured at your party.

---

Posted by rkl1130

---

Posted by dgirl0114

I second that!!

---

Sometimes I don't think guys understand that though...that it's not THEM we don't trust...it's the people around them. I always tell DH that it's the group mentality thing that throws off the trust factor....

---

I third, fourth and fifth that!

FH and I have had our share of disagreements over the topic. While I know that he isn't going to cheat on me, I personally cannot stand the entire concept of strippers, male or female. I won't go off on the topic, because I get very riled up and I don't want to offend anyone, but to put it mildly, I just don't see the point.

I don't get why looking at a naked lady who flashes her goods for thousands of people is a rite of passage. It's ridiculous!

Now, that said, FH's brother was forbidden to have a stripper at his bachelor party and all his friends resented his now ex-wife because of it. I don't think the divorce had anything to do with it, but I do know that his friends felt that she was controlling them (the friends) in addition to him (the FH).

I abhor the idea of FH having a stripper to please his maturity challenged friends, however, I can see the friends' point. (Of course, I also think theyshould respect the FW, but whatever. I also think strippers should be illegal.)

---

Posted by little34

I don't care...I told him that I don't mind him having strippers or going to a strip club as long as he doesn't get touched or grinded on I am good.

I trust him and I know he isn't really into those things, but I KNOW his guys are so going to do something like that....I want him to have fun...with boundaries... and that goes for me too!!!

---

same thing you said! i know his friends are going to egt it for him, so theres nothing i can do about it, but i trust that nothing will happen...and im going to have strippers at mine, he also trusts me that nothing will happen @ mine =)

I agree...when I asked fh why he wanted a bachelor party if he doesn't like strip club he told me ' I hate strip clubs...I never said I hated strippers' I can appreciate honesty.

---

Posted by Future Mulligan

Hmmm......I think that all guys say that they hate strippers - i mean what guy, in a committed relationship is going to say that he loves strippers? I've never heard any guy admitting to liking them but these are the same guys that i know have visited a club or too - more than once in their lifetime....so even though FH says that he doesnt like strippers I'm not so sure that I believe him 100%.....Yeah - he def doesn't want to marry a stripper, or take her home to Mom, or have her be the mother of his children BUT if the girl is drop dead gorgeous, has an amazing body, and is naked in front him - he has to be CRAZY if he doesn't get turned on just a little bit...I've even gone to strip clubs and have seen really beautiful girls and have admired them as well (well for me it was more like wishing that I had that a$$, or long legs, or those boobs) but anways just because men say that they don't like strip clubs, or strippers, and they think its gross - I am pretty sure that they aren't going to mind when the most beautiful girl in the club is rubbing herself on him, and moaning in his ear - especially since on top of that he is probably DRUNK and enjoying the moment......SO with that said, I trust my FH completely but I am not naive and I KNOW he is going to end up at a strip club for his BP and I KNOW that at some point he will probably be turned on by the naked girl shaking her stuff on him....So I am totally understanding how you feel - I don't know how I am going to deal with it when the times comes - but I have a feeling it will include alcohol and my girlfriends ....But hey, almost all guys do this, its practically a ritual and I would actually feel guilty if FH didn't go to a strip club for his bachelor party.....Its just one of those things I guess....Its a cheap thrill - its a tease and its one night.....I mean you wouldn't be marrying him if you didn't trust him - but I think its okay to feel a little uncomfortable about the idea - i think its pretty normal actually - I wouldn't worry about it too much....
PS men suck

---

very well said!!! i didn't worry about dh on the night of his bach party since i was busy w/my girls at my own bach party!! just plan them on the same nights and you'll be fine