Bachelor Party

KevinErin Posted: Aug 15, 2011 10:14 PM

Bachelor Party

I have a question for you. My fiance has 2 brothers and chose one to be his best man. The other is completely ok with it because he isn't comfortable to make a speech. The brother he chose said in front of me that he is not going to plan a bachelor party for my fiance he 'is a father' now and has more important responsibilities. I feel like when you agree to be a best man, planning a bachelor party is part of the agreement. I know it is none of my business but I do not want my fiance to miss out on having what he deserves. Do I let him battle this himself? I want to talk to his other brother who is so good in so many ways and ask him to plan something if the best man does not. Trust me, I am completely ok with him not having a bachelor party but love him so much that I want him to get something.

Watermelon5 Posted: Aug 15, 2011 10:15 PM

Re: Bachelor Party

if your FH doesn't care then w/e but if you feel that deep down he wants one maybe just hint to the bros that he would really love a 'last night on the town.' i wouldnt make a huge thing of it though if none of the guys are putting up a fight to have one.

Bride in 2012 Posted: Aug 15, 2011 10:18 PM

Re: Bachelor Party

See how your FH feels about it. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it if he doesn't care. It was wrong of his brother to just assume that your FH wouldn't want one b/c he's a 'father' though.

KevinErin Posted: Aug 15, 2011 10:20 PM

Re: Bachelor Party

He didn't hear him. I don't want him to get upset so I haven't brought it up to him. He is very sensitive and may take it personally. He keeps talking about how excited he is to go on one. I have to hope somebody else steps up to the plate.

lindseynaggle Posted: Aug 15, 2011 10:58 PM

Re: Bachelor Party

I have to talk for my FH sometimes, he can be kind of quiet. I think you need to clarify what a bachelor party is for everyone. It doesn't have to be like the Hangover. I have heard of going to a baseball game, getting dinner, or playing poker. Your FH does deserve a party in his honor, and that's really what he is asking for. MAybe talk to the brother and explain it?

PS, My FH has no desire to see a stripper. He wants his bachelor party to be a tattoo party (coed, but I'm not allowed to come!).

SMDC2012 Posted: Aug 15, 2011 11:03 PM

Re: Bachelor Party

The bach party doesn't have to be thrown by the best man. Ask the rest of the GMs to come up with something, If you want to suggest an idea to them my fh is throwing his brothers in Sept, they are starting with the Brooklyn Brewery for a tour which he has done for others and they always have a great time, then they are heading into Manhattan, checking in to their hotel and then heading to dinner at a nice restaurant, then off to a bar and then most likely a strip club then HOPEFULLY back to the hotel.

I would causally bring it up to him and see if he really wants one, if so then ask the other GMs or his other brother. Its a right of passage in a way.

LMEL1223 Posted: Aug 15, 2011 11:48 PM

Re: Bachelor Party

I would mention it to his other brother and other groomsmen.

I know my MOH is not planing my bachelorette. She is pregnant and so I dont think planing a crazy B party is the first thing on her mind. One of my other BMs is planing it.

pixietina Posted: Aug 15, 2011 11:55 PM

Re: Bachelor Party

I would talk to his other brother and groomsmen.

5272012 Posted: Aug 16, 2011 12:39 AM

Re: Bachelor Party

Ah this has been an ongoing thing..so ill explain whats going on with my FH.

My fh best man is his brother, who is underaged...
then his two ushers are my brother who for reasons right now cant real plan..and one of his friends ..

so..my FH decidd he didnt want a bachelor party, however, he is planning a trip wtih the guys to vegas in jan/feb..so hes planning it..as a last vac with the guys things..

so a bachelor party can be as conventional or as unconventional as everyone wants.

id talk to your fh and see what he wants..cause my fh n i talked n thats when i realized he wanted to take it in his own hands.

:)

MrsCtoBe5512 Posted: Aug 16, 2011 07:21 AM

Re: Bachelor Party

Posted by lindseynaggle
I think you need to clarify what a bachelor party is for everyone. It doesn't have to be like the Hangover. I have heard of going to a baseball game, getting dinner, or playing poker. Your FH does deserve a party in his honor, and that's really what he is asking for. MAybe talk to the brother and explain it?

THIS

Rivera2be Posted: Aug 16, 2011 09:31 AM

Re: Bachelor Party

Can you talk to this brother and tell him how FH has been excited and looking forward to the prospect of having a bachelor party? Maybe suggest he can get with his other brother and the GM to plan something local.

mara1017 Posted: Aug 16, 2011 09:34 AM

Re: Bachelor Party

I would be careful about getting in the middle of his brothers. I know you want to make sure that your FH has exactly what he wants but you do not want to be not accepted by his family,

Maybe you can ask one of the other groomsmen if they would be able to plan the bachelor party. I am sure the groomsmen are looking forward to the bachelor party just as much as your FH.

FutureWifey Posted: Aug 16, 2011 09:41 AM

Re: Bachelor Party

Maybe they just don't want you to think it's a big deal?.. it's possible that they'll plan it, but they don't want you to get upset about it, so they are just blowing it off a little. If you hear about strippers, Las Vegas, and craziness, then it could drive you nuts. I would just let it go and let them handle it. They could just be blowing it off.. but maybe not..

KevinErin Posted: Aug 17, 2011 10:49 AM

Re: Bachelor Party

Thank you everybody for your response. When push comes to shove I just want the best for him. I spoke to him about it and he said he just wants a night in Fire Island that he is going to set up when the time comes. It may be a little like 'The Hangover' but I trust. Also, with Fire Island people can stay over or go home at their convenience.