my fh told me in the beginning he doesnt like strip clubs. he went to his friends bachelor party and went to a strip club which i didnt care because it wasnt his party he went to the city with a group. Now he is insisting on one for his bachelor party and I should not ask questions because that is what a bachelor party is.
foodgirl785
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachelor party & strippers
ha I don't really care. I know FH has been to strip clubs before and I've even gone with him. If he's that determined to do something stupid the night of his bachelor party, it's going to happen regardless where he is.
Jill52787
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachelor party & strippers
H e l l s no!
Luckily my FH doesn't want anything to do with them, but I def consider it cheating, for me. Just my opinion, but I've told his friends i will call off the wedding if there are strippers haha.
Supermans
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachelor party & strippers
he's not gonna find anything better than what he's got at home.
i kid... I don't love it, but as long as there's no back room private action I wouldn't mind. And I trust that if i said no back rooms, there would be NO BACK ROOMS.
AlexandMike2012
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachelor party & strippers
FH actually feels more strongly about this than I do...he doesn't want them and I'm happy he doesn't...he wants a nice manly steak dinner somewhere, a great day of golf and to go out to a chill bar...that's his personality though.
he's not gonna find anything better than what he's got at home.
Love this!!!
No strippers for me and none for him either. FH doesn't even want a bachelor party...I'm the one saying he should have something! Just no strippers, hahah.
foodgirl785
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachelor party & strippers...help
Posted by spdy540
thoughts?
my fh told me in the beginning he doesnt like strip clubs. he went to his friends bachelor party and went to a strip club which i didnt care because it wasnt his party he went to the city with a group. Now he is insisting on one for his bachelor party and I should not ask questions because that is what a bachelor party is.
First, that's probably his friends insisting that he needs to have strippers for his bachelor party (stupid men) and two, if it makes you that uncomfortable, then that's a conversation that needs to be had with your FH whether he likes it or not :p
Supermans
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachelor party & strippers...help
ohhhh, and i change my answer a little now that he says you 'shouldn't ask questions'
while i think there is nothing wrong with strippers at a Bachelor Party, he def needs to prioritize your concerns first.
if you said, 'Listen honey, unicorns make me uncomfortable.' he should be like 'ok then, no unicorns, ever.'
making you feel confident and happy is way more important than one night of anything else.
SEB102707
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachelor party & strippers...help
I really think this topic is all about preference. Some people would consider it cheating, others just don't really care. I feel that I can trust FH and know that if he was to be around something like that, It wouldn't go any further then just looking so it doesn't really bother me.
My only concern is if it makes you feel uncomfortable it should be something that should be addressed. No need for something as small as this to cause a big mess!
Jill52787
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachelor party & strippers...help
Posted by spdy540
thoughts?
my fh told me in the beginning he doesnt like strip clubs. he went to his friends bachelor party and went to a strip club which i didnt care because it wasnt his party he went to the city with a group. Now he is insisting on one for his bachelor party and I should not ask questions because that is what a bachelor party is.
Now that you added that he says you shouldnt ask questions I would def have a convo about it.
Don't be confrontational just explain to him that it makes you uncomfortable.
Also it has nothing to do with trust, and tell him that. It doesn't matter how much you trust your FH, some girls (including me) just aren't ok with a naked girl dancing on your FH...
leelou48
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachelor party & strippers...help
OMG FH and I have had this fight many times for other bach parties.
I think its gross that he's gonan pay some chick to dance in his lap. I dont think its cheating, but It kinda makes me feel like I'm not enough for him and makes me very insecure. I coudln't even kiss him when he came home from the last one, I was disgusted. Ive told FH this many times and he keeps saying, thats what guys do. OF course I pull the old, 'I don't care about what other guys do, I care about mine.' We finally came up with the solutioon that if he has to go, then he has (like for other bach parties) but no lap dances.
Some girls are like who cares, but im not one of those girls. For his bach, I'm encouraging him to gamble away lots of our money just to keep him occupied enough. LOL
BlushandBashful
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachelor party & strippers...help
Posted by Supermans
ohhhh, and i change my answer a little now that he says you 'shouldn't ask questions'
while i think there is nothing wrong with strippers at a Bachelor Party, he def needs to prioritize your concerns first.
if you said, 'Listen honey, unicorns make me uncomfortable.' he should be like 'ok then, no unicorns, ever.'
making you feel confident and happy is way more important than one night of anything else.
ITA. I don't love the idea of my FH at a strip club, but at the end of the day we set rules and I trust that he followed them. That being said, since I was cool about it he was VERY upfront that they went for a little bit, etc. If my FH told me not to ask questions about it, I'd lose my sh*t. To me, that sounds distrustful as well as disrespectful.
monamiestephanie
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachelor party & strippers...help
Personally, I don't care. My FH is extremely conservative, and was forced to go to one for one of his friend's bach parties. He spent the night dodging a lap dance, and actually ran into a restroom when they tried to buy him one. I know he'll go to one for his, but I don't mind.
To be honest, I think that you should trust your FH enough to go to one too. If not, then you have other things to discuss!
FutureWifey
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachelor party & strippers...help
Although I'm not a fan.. it most likely is just because his friends want to have the strippers and it's for their entertainment. I definitely would prefer FH not have them... but I'm going to follow the 'Don't ask.. don't tell.' Oh... and that goes for both my bacherlorette and his bachelor party
AugustFeather
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachelor party & strippers...help
I definitely have no issues trusting my FH. I would not be bothered by them going to a strip club for a B-Party. But I am not a fan whatsoever of 'private shows' via hotel rooms etc. I think its a bit too graphic and in your face. Many of these private shows just go too far IMO. A man who is about to be married does not need to see 2 girls having sex with each other 2 feet away from him. Stripping is one thing... but there are different degrees of it for sure! Just as my FH would not like some dude 'getting-off' in front of me. We are in full agreement there! And neither of us want that sort of 'hardcore' entertainment.
Thankfully FH does not want private shows etc... but they might wind up at a strip club, which is fine to me.
FutureWifey
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachelor party & strippers...help
Posted by AugustFeather
I definitely have no issues trusting my FH. I would not be bothered by them going to a strip club for a B-Party. But I am not a fan whatsoever of 'private shows' via hotel rooms etc. I think its a bit too graphic and in your face. Many of these private shows just go too far IMO. A man who is about to be married does not need to see 2 girls having sex with each other 2 feet away from him. Stripping is one thing... but there are different degrees of it for sure! Just as my FH would not like some dude 'getting-off' in front of me. We are in full agreement there! And neither of us want that sort of 'hardcore' entertainment.
Thankfully FH does not want private shows etc... but they might wind up at a strip club, which is fine to me.
omg... I never even thought of that. That's just gross!
OMG FH and I have had this fight many times for other bach parties.
I think its gross that he's gonan pay some chick to dance in his lap. I dont think its cheating, but It kinda makes me feel like I'm not enough for him and makes me very insecure. I coudln't even kiss him when he came home from the last one, I was disgusted. Ive told FH this many times and he keeps saying, thats what guys do. OF course I pull the old, 'I don't care about what other guys do, I care about mine.' We finally came up with the solutioon that if he has to go, then he has (like for other bach parties) but no lap dances.
Some girls are like who cares, but im not one of those girls. For his bach, I'm encouraging him to gamble away lots of our money just to keep him occupied enough. LOL
You sound like me and my FH!! LOL
Irishbride16
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachelor party & strippers...help
Thats really hard and i hear where u r coming from ...in some ways i do care and i dont ...my FH said that he does not want strippers but his bro who is the best man ..i know he is going to get them and i will have no control over that ...i think it will be more for his bro though then him ...crazy
halfbaked
Posted:
Member since
Re: bachelor party & strippers...help
If he's been to a strip club before, I don't see what the difference is now...
ETA: I guarantee all you ladies who say 'Not my husband EVER!'- all of them have been to strip clubs before and will be again. Personally, my DH is not my kid, I don't 'allow' him to do things. He's a grown man and he can decide for himself what's right and wrong and I trust him completely. I've even been to strip clubs with him before! And even if I did dictate what my DH can or cannot do, by telling him 'No strip clubs ever.' that's just going to make him want to go more. Just my two cents, take it or leave it, but I never understood this fear of strip clubs. You are marrying this man, I hope you trust him!
