Bachelorett party drama...

Soon2beMrs.D Posted: Feb 09, 2006 09:33 PM

Bachelorett party drama...

So my FMIL is so against bachelor/bachelorette parties that now that I am planning one, she is totally freaking out, I mean so much so that she is going to ruin the whole thing for everyone. She is not only dead set against them, but she says that none of us have any money to go and that is it nothing but a waste of money. So FH has totally been on my side for this and even called his mom tonight to figure out what her problem was, needless to say they got into a disagreement and in the midst of the 'fight' she got so worked up that she even said that since she has payed so much for everybody (in general) and blah blah blah and obviously everybody has money she doesn't know about and that now she will have nothing more to do with my wedding. She said that she isn't even coming to my bridal shower, she is returning my gifts and that she is not doing anything at all for the wedding. She was supposed to get an invitation book from work so that I can order them for 15% off and she said that she is not doing that either. What do I do know? I don't want her to win this and ruin my time, but at the same time she always gets worked up over everything. I don't know but I can't deal with this right now.

smara Posted: Feb 09, 2006 09:37 PM

Re: Bachelorett party drama...

awe.. she is being so unfair and I feel so bad for you. Maybe you should let her calm down for a few days and than try to talk to her.

stephanielyse Posted: Feb 09, 2006 09:39 PM

.

Summer101 Posted: Feb 09, 2006 09:43 PM

Re: Bachelorett party drama...

That seems a little extreme- I mean you can't go out for a night with friends and have a good time?? I hope it blows over and she calms down!!
A bachelorette party doesn't have to be expensive and it seems since she is paying for things and helping that she is holding it over your head to do what she wants. I feel bad for you

waterspout4 Posted: Feb 09, 2006 10:07 PM

Re: Bachelorett party drama...

I'm not understanding this. What does your FMIL have to do with a bachelorette party? No moms are supposed to do anything with this aspect of 'planning'.

Happybride2005 Posted: Feb 09, 2006 10:12 PM

Re: Bachelorett party drama...

why is she doing this? was she going to be invite(some mom's go) not only is she doing this to u, but she's also doing this to her son

Soon2beMrs.D Posted: Feb 09, 2006 10:25 PM

Re: Bachelorett party drama...

Thank you guys so much for your help and support. The bottom line is that she isn't or shouldn't have anything to do with the party. She is just using the fact that she helps everybody financially as leverage, she is telling her daughters (2 of my BMs) that they can't go or else she won't help them with $$ issues and she is punishing me because is stems from me (meaning that if it wasn't for me and I gave up, we wouldn't have this problem in the first place), anyway what I am planning on doing is the hamptons Memorial Day weekend and he is probably going to the city that saturday night for dinner and the timeless strip club, which I am fine with, I TRUST HIM, and I thought that was all that mattered She will probably calm down eventually, but what if she doesn't, I want to talk to her, but I don't know what to say to make her understand or calm down about this. I am really upset about this, this is totally ridiculous.

Soon2beMrs.D Posted: Feb 09, 2006 10:28 PM

Re: Bachelorett party drama...

FH even said to her even though you didn't have one, doesn't mean that that is what the rest of the world is supposed to do, and then he told her that she was crazy, lol, I love him.

Soon2beMrs.D Posted: Feb 09, 2006 10:45 PM

Re: Bachelorett party drama...

I know this was long, but I really need some advice here, please!!

JCam695 Posted: Feb 09, 2006 10:49 PM

Re: Bachelorett party drama...

this may sound bad...but can you tell her you're not having one and then have one anyway...

pretend like another one of your BMs totally surprised you with it or something.

Seems like the only way she'll get over it, is if you don't have one.

clw924 Posted: Feb 09, 2006 10:50 PM

Re: Bachelorett party drama...

I can't believe she is so involved with the Bachelorette party...You should just get invitations some place else. I'm sure it will cost the same elsewhere and she won't be hanging that over your head. It is a shame that she gives things as gifts and then takes things back. It seems like she is the type of person that gives things not from the heart, but to run around telling everyone what she does for people...Best of luck toy ou with her. There is nothing wrong with you wanting to go out with your friends. What a shame if your FH sisters do not go. They should stand up to her..

Kris516 Posted: Feb 09, 2006 10:56 PM

Re: Bachelorett party drama...

I don't get why she is so worked up either. Can't someone reason with her? They're not always about t#ts and @ss. I would let your MBs take the planning over, this way you really can;t be 'blamed' for the plans.

Are you and FH over 21?

Soon2beMrs.D Posted: Feb 09, 2006 11:03 PM

Re: Bachelorett party drama...

yes we are both over 21, I'm 23 he is 26

69 Posted: Feb 10, 2006 10:17 AM

Re: Bachelorett party drama...

she is wrong... you can always cut costs.. but dang... you should have one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MattsBride Posted: Feb 10, 2006 10:24 AM

Re: Bachelorett party drama...

Does FMIL know your FH is going to a strip club? Is she ok with that? Could it be that she doesn't want him to, so by making you not have a party she thinks he won't have one either? Are you planning to see strippers? Maybe that is what bothers her. It is completely wrong if she thinks he should have one and you shouldn't!

LaurenluvsTJ Posted: Feb 10, 2006 10:27 AM

Re: Bachelorett party drama...

Maybe she thinks you are going to a strip club and doesn't want her daughters going to one?
I can't understand otherwise why she would care.

JanuaryBride06 Posted: Feb 10, 2006 10:30 AM

Re: Bachelorett party drama...

Why does she need to know about the party? It's not like she's involved in any way - she doesn't need to know what you all do every single second of the day.

And what does that have to do with anything else regarding the wedding? Just because she helps financially doesn't give her to right to crap on everyone - if her way of controlling people is through money, it might be best to just cut yourself off from her. She can't control your friends if they're paying for it.

I didn't mean for that to sound harsh - It just makes me angry for other people when I hear about stuff like this.

nygirl77 Posted: Feb 10, 2006 11:09 AM

Re: Bachelorett party drama...

What?! I say this all the time, what is wrong with these FMIL's!!! A bachelorette party is a right of passage...is FH having a bachelor party? Would it be different if you were just going out with your friends and not calling it a bachelorette party?