Bachlorette Party vent

So my bridesmaids have been making plans for my bachlorette party, we're going to be doing dinner and pole dancing classes. So here's my issue, my brothers girlfriend, they have been dating for about 2 years now, most likely isnt gonna come to my bachlorette party. What kinda bugs me is that my brother is one of my best friends, i love him and he always makes me laugh, and I dont really know his girlfriend, since she has her own place, they are always over there. I have included her in my wedding, she is going to be an usherette. But seriosuly dont you think she should be at my bachlorette party? Does this mean that if she marrys my brother, I shouldn't attend her bachlorette party? 2 wrongs dont make a right?

I don't know i kinda think its wrong, what do you think???

I would be ok with her not going to your B-party. She is not a BM,, and usherette is going to do stuff like give programs out and seat your guest. That is more of a courtesy to you then some Terrific title for her.
Although it would be nice for her to be there, she doesn't know your firends and you 2 are not that close. It may make her uncomfortable to pole dance with you and your girls. IF you were super close.. then I could see being upset. You will notice when the day comes... you won't notice that she isnt there.
Good Luck! and have fun on the pole!

i dont know, i wouldnt be upset. There are lots of things i havent gone to, b-parties included becuase i just dont want to... lol. That sounds bad but i have bad anxiety and drinking and pole dancing would not be my thing with poeple i dont know, i wouldnt go. If there is more of a reason like she doesnt like your family or something than maybe i guess it depends on the reason too but you arent close with her and your not marrying her brother and into her family so its different than you going to hers.
thats just my opinion though

wow... if they have been together for 2 years she should be there ... and I can be so spiteful so I wouldnt go to hers But your right two wrongs dont make a right but I still wouldnt go!

did she tell you why she cant go?

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Posted by gina409

imo i think she should totally be there...2 yrs is a long time dating and even though u dont see her everyday i would have wanted her there....what is the reason she cant come?is it something important she has to do or does she just not want to go?

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She is a very shy girl, I don't really think its her thing and she isn't really going to know anyone. Plus she just lost her job but she still does work on the side, i told my brother its gonna cost about $100 for the night, probably less. I understand the fact that she doesnt really have a job right now but i mean seriously, my brother has told me he wants to marry her! shes gonna be my FSIL for g-d sakes!!!

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Posted by flairforfashion

Eh I wouldn't be upset. Did she tell you why she's not going?

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Awesome date by the way

Since I really don't speak to her, i asked my brother to ask her and he doesn't even wanna ask her cause she know she wont come. I think what hurts me more is that, this is my big brother's girlfriend and potential wife and I always imagined me being best freinds with my FSIL. And we are like far from that, but i'm really trying to make an effort with her!

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Posted by MLHtobe424

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Posted by flairforfashion

Eh I wouldn't be upset. Did she tell you why she's not going?

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Awesome date by the way

Since I really don't speak to her, i asked my brother to ask her and he doesn't even wanna ask her cause she know she wont come. I think what hurts me more is that, this is my big brother's girlfriend and potential wife and I always imagined me being best freinds with my FSIL. And we are like far from that, but i'm really trying to make an effort with her!

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see then, i kind of feel like it's not her fault- your brother isn't giving her the chance to make a decision for herself, he's assuming what she is going to say.
it's so nice that you feel that way about her- i think you should tell her! maybe you two can do lunch or go to dinner just the two of you or something!

My Matron of honor didnt even come to my bachelorette party and she was in town. She had no excuse. She just said 'I dont want to go'.
i was fine with it. I told her, I didnt want any one to be a drag to come anyway. Other friends of mine who did want to come, simply couldnt afford it. I wouldnt make a big deal out of it. The night is for YOU to have fun with your girls, so really your brothers gf IMO doesnt really belong there - unless you are close with her.

My sister in law to be is coming out for the first part of it, Tony and Tina's wedding, but not out to a club after. She said 'been there done that'
She's married with 2 kids, but she's still young!
At least she's coming for part of it.

but yes I thing she should def come to yours!!!

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Posted by MLHtobe424

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Posted by flairforfashion

Eh I wouldn't be upset. Did she tell you why she's not going?

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Awesome date by the way

Since I really don't speak to her, i asked my brother to ask her and he doesn't even wanna ask her cause she know she wont come. I think what hurts me more is that, this is my big brother's girlfriend and potential wife and I always imagined me being best freinds with my FSIL. And we are like far from that, but i'm really trying to make an effort with her!

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if you want her at your bachlorette party i dont think you should have your brother ask her. Its your bachlorette part I feel yo should be the one to invite her. Maybe you can take this time to try and be closer with her. I can be shy to so maybe she is just uncomfortable and you making an attempt will change things for you and her

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Posted by melcc83

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Posted by MLHtobe424

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Posted by flairforfashion

Eh I wouldn't be upset. Did she tell you why she's not going?

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Awesome date by the way

Since I really don't speak to her, i asked my brother to ask her and he doesn't even wanna ask her cause she know she wont come. I think what hurts me more is that, this is my big brother's girlfriend and potential wife and I always imagined me being best freinds with my FSIL. And we are like far from that, but i'm really trying to make an effort with her!

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if you want her at your bachlorette party i dont think you should have your brother ask her. Its your bachlorette part I feel yo should be the one to invite her. Maybe you can take this time to try and be closer with her. I can be shy to so maybe she is just uncomfortable and you making an attempt will change things for you and her

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i definitely agree with this, if you really want her there and its that important to you, having your brother ask her is not going to be the way to show that. But on the same hand, you said that you dont really talk to her so if thats the case then i wouldnt be that upset if she didnt come. I know you *want* to be close with her and all that, but it kind of sounds like you guys dont have that relationship? And if you arent close and she doesnt know any of your friends, i can understand her not wanting to go. maybe try doing something else with her like dinner or drinks to take steps towards building the kind of relationship you want to have with her.

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Posted by MLHtobe424

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Posted by gina409

imo i think she should totally be there...2 yrs is a long time dating and even though u dont see her everyday i would have wanted her there....what is the reason she cant come?is it something important she has to do or does she just not want to go?

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She is a very shy girl, I don't really think its her thing and she isn't really going to know anyone. Plus she just lost her job but she still does work on the side, i told my brother its gonna cost about $100 for the night, probably less. I understand the fact that she doesnt really have a job right now but i mean seriously, my brother has told me he wants to marry her! shes gonna be my FSIL for g-d sakes!!!

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well if its a money issue there is really nothing u can do..unless u want to pay for her...but i think in the long run u r prob better off cause if she is that shy,and knowing that u paid for her to be there just might make her allthat more uncomfy which will make everyone else that way too....i think u should go with out her and then the four of u go out to dinner or something ...hth