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Bad Bridesmaid

rojerono Posted:

Bad Bridesmaid

I am a bridesmaid for my gf who is getting married in September.

We were chatting tonight and I was complaining about how much money everything costs.

She said 'TELL ME ABOUT IT! Jason and I are already at the 80 grand mark!'.

After I picked my jaw up from off the floor I said...'You really are ridiculous and probably a little insane'.

Ummm... that was NOT the best thing to say to an a person who actually may be a little nuts (EIGHTY GRAND!).

She said 'You are an awful bridesmaid to say that. But I love you and will let it slide.'

I think she was only half joking.

EIGHTY GRAND. That is 8 with FIVE 0's! 80,000!Holy cr*p.

ETA: Guys... this was just posted because it was a fun exchange between my friend and I and it had to do with a wedding. I don't care if she sells her first born in order to be the first person married on the moon. I also don't care if she quits the whole damn wedding and gets married underwater in Zimbabwe. I love her and we are close. We are also realllly sarcastic people who like to mess around with one another. I THOUGHT you might enjoy hearing about 2 people with TOTALLY different ideas about getting married and what's involved. That's all... no big deal!
Tria1110 Posted:

Re: Bad Bridesmaid

We are not at that level but our budget has exploded.

The costs of weddings is absolutely ridiculous. And she probably is very upset at the cost so my advice is to withhold your comments - they don't help and won't change anything.
eden Posted:

Re: Bad Bridesmaid

yeah, i know some! the girls filming platinum weddings ... :)

80k is very expensive, but in new york that's actually just on the moderately high end

i can imagine girls who booked oheka or have saturday night weddings peak season with 300+ guests spending that much.
daniebc16 Posted:

Re: Bad Bridesmaid

I couldn't imagine spending 80g's...though with a little help I could try...
iamvocal72 Posted:

Re: Bad Bridesmaid

What is with people? I mean if you have that kind of money to throw around it's all you but I agree - NUTS! I am truly crazy - I have the diagnosis to prove it but 80K? Even I'm not that nuts!
rojerono Posted:

Re: Bad Bridesmaid



The costs of weddings is absolutely ridiculous. And she probably is very upset at the cost so my advice is to withhold your comments - they don't help and won't change anything.



She isn't that upset. Mainly because her parents are footing the bill. She is more upset at being called insane... because - well truth hurts.

Disclaimer: Her insanity is not proven by her wildy outrageous budget, but by various and sundry other things in addition to the budget. Like insisting that the caterers have banana slices with peanut butter on them during cocktail hour and wearing long sleeves, gloves, boots, hats and long pants outside in the middle of a continental heatwave because she doesn't want to deal with 'unsightly coloration' before her wedding. How about the unsightly bruises from passing out from the heat?
Audreygirl Posted:

Re: Bad Bridesmaid

my jaw still is on the floor!!!!

nala3378 Posted:

Re: Bad Bridesmaid

We are spending $40000 just on the hall.

So yeah $80000 sounds right to me...

Adding everything else, including the little stuff(I did a lot od DIY proj, so paper ink etc) we are close to $80,000.

WE luck out though

My parents are paying for the RH

and FH's mom is paying for the RD and the photographer.

SHe also paid for all out deposits.
Mooshyboo Posted:

Re: Bad Bridesmaid

We are not nearly at that $$$ amount! OMG ~ I would have probably said the same thing that you did...(with that kind of $ that could pay one of my mortgages off and then some) But I do know ALOT of friends that have gotten married in the last couple of years were not too far from your friend...If you have the $$ that is fine if it can be afforded & that is what you want to spend.... We are probably going to go over our budget.... But I am just trying to stay realistic about this whole thing and not go over board...
LoveBug1124 Posted:

Re: Bad Bridesmaid

Take it with a grain of salt, she is most likely stressed with the amount of money they are spending and feels she does'nt need people rubbing it in.

While it is insane, sadly if you take the cost of the wedding, e-ring, honeymoon & engagement party FH and I are closer to 90k then 80k. I think we are insane but when we were planning things we didn't think ahead!!!
aliwnec10 Posted:

Re: Bad Bridesmaid

One of my BM's got married last year and her wedding was $100,000. It was gorgeous and there were 400 people there.

But you also have to understand that his parents paid for it and they come from a huge italian family. Plus... they have the money and they don't mind spending it. To some who have money, the $100,000 is like paying $40,000 to them. do you know what i mean? It's all relative.

Me personally... even if i had the money to burn like that, i wouldn't. But to each their own.
Tobewed07 Posted:

Re: Bad Bridesmaid

When my best friend got married her wedding was $100k...totally crazy! They had DP champagne at every table and loads of other $$$ extra's..

I could never even think of having 1/2 the stuff she had. There is a wedding to fit every budget, LOL, I just wish my budget was a little greener!!
Hamptonsbride06 Posted:

Re: Bad Bridesmaid

we are spending well over $100k, probably closer to $200k....with the attitude that you only get to do this once, why not go all out. We were lucky that our parents are splitting the cost

FlowerBride Posted:

Re: Bad Bridesmaid


Posted by Tria1110

We are not at that level but our budget has exploded.



ditto. my RH and the band alone are close to what i was hoping my entire budget would be...luckily im an only child and my mom (who is paying 80%) really wants to go all out..
MJDoc12 Posted:

Re: Bad Bridesmaid

i couldn't imagine spending that much $$...but if you have it...i guess you have it.

FH's cousin got married at the Ritz Carlton in W. Palm Beach, Fl last year, memorial day weekend.

the final cost: $ 187,000

(not including their 2 week HM in south africa)

all OOT guest accomodations were paid by the families and they stayed at the Ritz Carlton...including the Calypso band that they flew down to play at the reception.

needless to say--FH and i are NOT nearly as fortunate

Mandyin2007 Posted:

Re: Bad Bridesmaid

My wedding is only going to cost like 1/5th of that... I have friends though who wouldn't be satisfied if their wedding didn't cost more than $80k.

JennJay Posted:

Re: Bad Bridesmaid


Posted by rojerono



The costs of weddings is absolutely ridiculous. And she probably is very upset at the cost so my advice is to withhold your comments - they don't help and won't change anything.



She isn't that upset. Mainly because her parents are footing the bill. She is more upset at being called insane... because - well truth hurts.

Disclaimer: Her insanity is not proven by her wildy outrageous budget, but by various and sundry other things in addition to the budget. Like insisting that the caterers have banana slices with peanut butter on them during cocktail hour and wearing long sleeves, gloves, boots, hats and long pants outside in the middle of a continental heatwave because she doesn't want to deal with 'unsightly coloration' before her wedding. How about the unsightly bruises from passing out from the heat?





You have a lot to say about someone elses wedding wishes. and.... your her BM?.... and friend? Let her spend whatever she wants...Let her do whatever she wants.....its her wedding....who are you to judge? JMHO.
pamelaann Posted:

Re: Bad Bridesmaid

I hear that... me and my fh are paying for our wedding ... well mostly him .... and we are no where near $100,000 not even $50,000.00 and that would include our 2 1/2 weeks in Europe
and we are getting married on a Sat night .....

I think some brides put so much on one day.. I understand that you only do it once... but I would rather take that other $50,000 and put it towards a house that we will share together for with any luck 50 years++++++++
rojerono Posted:

Re: Bad Bridesmaid


Posted by JennJay
You have a lot to say about someone elses wedding wishes. and.... your her BM?.... and friend? Let her spend whatever she wants...Let her do whatever she wants.....its her wedding....who are you to judge? JMHO.



I have a lot to say BECAUSE I am her BM and her friend. And I say it to her face... BECAUSE I am her BM and her friend. I don't want her making herself into a complete basket case and losing her mind BECAUSE I am her BM and her friend.

Now please note that her comments to me (about being a bad bridesmaid) were said facetiously. Despite all her wedding mania she still has a sense of humor. Something a few people seem to lose in all of this madness!

So please don't worry about my girlfriend. She is a strong girl and we enjoy our banter. I was posting because I thought it was a fun exchange.
nov06 Posted:

Re: Bad Bridesmaid

I don't see what the big deal is. God bless her if she had that kind of money to spend on a wedding. I know if someone were paying for mine or I had a lot more money my budget would be on a whole other level. Her wedding..her money..her sanity

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