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Because I am a troublemaker and bored....

Original post by stinenandy2010

Would you get angry if your FMIL bought her dress before your mother?


Personally, I come from a very traditional Italian household where the mother of the bride always picks her color first. However since my fmil is the devil in human form she has already informed me of her color choices....either black or white (this I definitely have a problem with) I told my mom this and of course her response was 'well i get first dibs on colors and you tell her that' But when it comes down to it, whoever gets their dress first, doesn't matter. My mother and I are enjoying this time together and NO ONE will ruin it for us. If FMIL really does get her dress first, so be it, yea I might get angry b/c my mother should choose first, but in the end I won't care, my mother is a wonderful person and will look amazing in anything!
barbtony Posted:

Re: Because I am a troublemaker and bored....

Once again - I missed what happened. Darn tax season!!!!!

However, do I need to address this dress thing with them or do they just take care of it on their own?
FallBride2010 Posted:

Re: Because I am a troublemaker and bored....

I wouldnt mind if she bought it first...dont think my mom would either. But, i would have a HUGE issue if she showed up in white!!

christine2010 Posted:

Re: Because I am a troublemaker and bored....


Posted by barbtony

Once again - I missed what happened. Darn tax season!!!!!

However, do I need to address this dress thing with them or do they just take care of it on their own?



the etiquette goes that the mother of the bride picks her dress first. usually a compliment color to the bridesmaid dresses. then the mother of the groom picks her dress as a compliment color to the bridesmaids & the mother of the the bride.

its up to you. if you have a good relationship with your FMIL maybe you should just mention to her that your mom will be picking her dress first.
stinenandy2010 Posted:

Re: Because I am a troublemaker and bored....

o trust me girls, if that woman shows up in any shade of white she will be escorted out and can only return in something more approriate!
Jenna_and_John Posted:

Re: Because I am a troublemaker and bored....


Posted by Jna2010

i wouldnt have a problem about the color thing but then again im very close with my fmil, i dont mind if both my mom and her wear the same color, but i could def see how someone would especially if the 2 families are not as close.......

BUT i WOULD have a problem if she wore WHITE!!!!!! umm hellloooooo is she kidding with that??!!! that is seriously wrong 100%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Totally agree, it would so bother me if someone else wore white!!
NYYankeeGirl72 Posted:

Re: Because I am a troublemaker and bored....

Man that stinks that your FMIL would even contemplate doing such a thing. I am telling you sometimes people can try to be so mean its disgusting.

I am glad that my FMIL is way cool. She gets along with my mom, so I don't think she would ever do something like that.

Hope your FMIL doesn't wear white, coz that would be the ultimate insult.

ETA: I got *****
Goldie39 Posted:

Re: Because I am a troublemaker and bored....


Posted by stinenandy2010

o trust me girls, if that woman shows up in any shade of white she will be escorted out and can only return in something more approriate!



<------- bouncer! lol.
RadiantBride Posted:

Re: Because I am a troublemaker and bored....

OP- I am still

Like I told you on FM, tell her that you both can wear matching dresses.
JillandJoe Posted:

Re: Because I am a troublemaker and bored....

my mom told FMIL colors she would never wear so FMIL could go get her dress now. My mom doesn't need to worry about money the way FMIL does so she wasn't mad about her getting her dress first... my mom would never wear the colors fmil would wear. If they wanted the same color or color family i'd insist FMIL waited, but they don't and I cant stop her from wanting to get a good price


what made me more angry was she tried to wear the exact color of the BM dresses, im like are you kidding me? Your not a bridesmaid!!!
stinenandy2010 Posted:

Re: Because I am a troublemaker and bored....


Posted by RadiantBride

OP- I am still

Like I told you on FM, tell her that you both can wear matching dresses.



i was gonna write this back, but i might as well share w/ every1.....so fmil has not offered to pay for a thing and that's totally fine. she threw a FIT when we got engaged and it really ruined her relationship with her son (not like there was a good one there anyway) So months later she calls and says she wants to contribute...she wanted to buy me a Vera Wang wedding dress and me and her can do all the shopping together. Now, if I didn't have the amazing relationship I do have with my mother, I might consider it. But my mom was kind of insulted. The dress is the biggest bonding experience between mother and daughter and she wants to intrude. Even if I had a great realtionship with FMIL, I might invte her to a fitting but we don't! It was so weird. I appreciate her offer but she wasn't doing it to be nice, she was doing it to control the situation. Anyway, I told her very nicely, I appreciated it but my mother and I would prefer to do this part alone HOWEVER if she wanted to do something else together like flowers, she is more than welcome......well she doesn't want to be involved anymore.....which is fine with me!
stinenandy2010 Posted:

Re: Because I am a troublemaker and bored....


Posted by Goldie39


Posted by stinenandy2010

o trust me girls, if that woman shows up in any shade of white she will be escorted out and can only return in something more approriate!



<------- bouncer! lol.



that's right! i will have to show you a pic, but you will certainly know when she enters the room....don't be surprised if she objects during the mass either
RadiantBride Posted:

Re: Because I am a troublemaker and bored....


Posted by stinenandy2010


Posted by RadiantBride

OP- I am still

Like I told you on FM, tell her that you both can wear matching dresses.



i was gonna write this back, but i might as well share w/ every1.....so fmil has not offered to pay for a thing and that's totally fine. she threw a FIT when we got engaged and it really ruined her relationship with her son (not like there was a good one there anyway) So months later she calls and says she wants to contribute...she wanted to buy me a Vera Wang wedding dress and me and her can do all the shopping together. Now, if I didn't have the amazing relationship I do have with my mother, I might consider it. But my mom was kind of insulted. The dress is the biggest bonding experience between mother and daughter and she wants to intrude. Even if I had a great realtionship with FMIL, I might invte her to a fitting but we don't! It was so weird. I appreciate her offer but she wasn't doing it to be nice, she was doing it to control the situation. Anyway, I told her very nicely, I appreciated it but my mother and I would prefer to do this part alone HOWEVER if she wanted to do something else together like flowers, she is more than welcome......well she doesn't want to be involved anymore.....which is fine with me!



Wow.
At least you were polite about it. So she would have been willing to spend $$$ on the dress but cant help you guys out with flowers or any other vendor payments? Def doing it for the wrong reasons.
Sorry to tell you but the closer you get to your wedding things will get much more stressful so brace yourself.
stinenandy2010 Posted:

Re: Because I am a troublemaker and bored....


Posted by RadiantBride


Posted by stinenandy2010


Posted by RadiantBride

OP- I am still

Like I told you on FM, tell her that you both can wear matching dresses.



i was gonna write this back, but i might as well share w/ every1.....so fmil has not offered to pay for a thing and that's totally fine. she threw a FIT when we got engaged and it really ruined her relationship with her son (not like there was a good one there anyway) So months later she calls and says she wants to contribute...she wanted to buy me a Vera Wang wedding dress and me and her can do all the shopping together. Now, if I didn't have the amazing relationship I do have with my mother, I might consider it. But my mom was kind of insulted. The dress is the biggest bonding experience between mother and daughter and she wants to intrude. Even if I had a great realtionship with FMIL, I might invte her to a fitting but we don't! It was so weird. I appreciate her offer but she wasn't doing it to be nice, she was doing it to control the situation. Anyway, I told her very nicely, I appreciated it but my mother and I would prefer to do this part alone HOWEVER if she wanted to do something else together like flowers, she is more than welcome......well she doesn't want to be involved anymore.....which is fine with me!



Wow.
At least you were polite about it. So she would have been willing to spend $$$ on the dress but cant help you guys out with flowers or any other vendor payments? Def doing it for the wrong reasons.
Sorry to tell you but the closer you get to your wedding things will get much more stressful so brace yourself.



I know it will get more stressful but I try to have a positive outlook...no one and i mean NO ONE will ruin this day for me. She definitely did it for all the wrong reasons. So whatever....like I said you have to learn to laugh at things!
MrsC2010 Posted:

Re: Because I am a troublemaker and bored....

etiquette says the mob is supposed to pick her color first....my fmil already asked my mom if she had anything in mind. I think if fmil bought her dress first thats fine as long as its not the color that my mom wants...

RitasEngaged Posted:

Re: Because I am a troublemaker and bored....

I would be pissed the MOB should always get her color choice

Sandradv121 Posted:

Re: Because I am a troublemaker and bored....

I have no prob... they will prob get it together... with me... and torture me in the process...

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