Because I am the girl... {a rant post}

So, six weeks after my engagement I have the RH, Band, and Dress.

I am now deciding on colors and Save the date magnets, and invitations. My fiance is very particular about how he wants things so I try to get his input.

But when I ask for his opinion or ask him to follow-up on things for me he says it's my job to put everything together because I'm the Girl!!!

As if this is not his wedding too!

And then when I go ahead and make a decision without him, he questions my judgement.

It makes me so frustrated I could scream!!!

What happened to my normally reasonable partner? And who replaced him with this 1950's chauvinist?

Anyone else having gender divide issues???

--Somi

welcome to wedding planning




and congrats

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Posted by Alyssa79

welcome to wedding planning




and congrats

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My words exactly!!

def no gender issues... fh is letting me have free reign planning... he has too much other stuff going on in his life and even if his situation were different i dont think he would care...

ETA: all you can do is ask his opinion, if he choses not to provide you with one then screw him and do what you want

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Posted by Alyssa79

welcome to wedding planning




and congrats

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Okay then!

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Posted by AngnShaun

ETA: all you can do is ask his opinion, if he choses not to provide you with one then screw him and do what you want

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I agree. And as the date gets closer I know for sure it will be critical to take that stance.

Thanks for the advice.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news.. but it only gets worse.

the two of you aren't always going to agree on things and if he's truly into the planning, the two of you will bicker- TRUST ME.. lol

and he's a man... they want you to do all the foot work, the calling, scheduling, getting prices, etc. but they feel they have the 'final say' in using that vendor.

what you need to do is sit him down and be frank.
this is OUR wedding, WE are a team, WE are going to split the planning 50/50, unless YOU want ME to plan the whole thing and if that's the case YOU need to step aside.
if YOU want 50/50 then WE're going split all the tasks, WE'll make a list of photographers, YOU'll call half and I'll call half. and WE'll make decisions together.

that might open his eyes up a little... it does su ck that you have to do all the foot work while he gets off with the easy/fun stuff.

hope this didn't bring you down. there are a lot of ups with the planning process.... and once I experience one I'll let you know. (joking)

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Posted by AdriandSteve

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Posted by Alyssa79

welcome to wedding planning




and congrats

---

My words exactly!!

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You couldnt have said it any better!

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Posted by Im_My_Own_Princess

I hate to be the bearer of bad news.. but it only gets worse.

the two of you aren't always going to agree on things and if he's truly into the planning, the two of you will bicker- TRUST ME.. lol

and he's a man... they want you to do all the foot work, the calling, scheduling, getting prices, etc. but they feel they have the 'final say' in using that vendor.

what you need to do is sit him down and be frank.
this is OUR wedding, WE are a team, WE are going to split the planning 50/50, unless YOU want ME to plan the whole thing and if that's the case YOU need to step aside.
if YOU want 50/50 then WE're going split all the tasks, WE'll make a list of photographers, YOU'll call half and I'll call half. and WE'll make decisions together.

that might open his eyes up a little... it does su ck that you have to do all the foot work while he gets off with the easy/fun stuff.

hope this didn't bring you down. there are a lot of ups with the planning process.... and once I experience one I'll let you know. (joking)

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Thanks for the wake-up call. I have talked to him about it and his answer always is 'becuase I am the girl' I am supposed to be doing the planning.

Unfortunately I don't see him changing (which is odd becuase he is NOT like this about anything else - we've been together 4 years and he has NEVER acted like this!)

But moving forward I can take a harder stance on decision making and really make it clear that if he doesn't participate in the coordination and follow-up then he he has limited input into the final decision.

I will let ya know how that conversation works out...

Tee hee!

--Somi

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Posted by AngnShaun

def no gender issues... fh is letting me have free reign planning... he has too much other stuff going on in his life and even if his situation were different i dont think he would care...

ETA: all you can do is ask his opinion, if he choses not to provide you with one then screw him and do what you want

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Yeah- What she said!!

This is how me & FH operate.

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Posted by Alyssa79

welcome to wedding planning




and congrats

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Ditto

I've come to the conclusion that my FH is useless when it comes to this stuff, lol.