Bestman stressing me out (vent)

GRRRR...

My FH BM lives in Florida. I've just had a gut feeling that it was going to be a problem for a while.

He also has a disability and has difficulty getting clothes to fit.

We spoke to the place that we are going to use for tuxes and they said that he could get his measurements done there & call him with them & they would have a tux ready for him & if anything needed to be fixed they would do it while he was there. WELL.....he doesn't want to do that. He wants to get the same tux down there & bring it with him. He even asked me if we were paying for it or if he was. I told him that attendants pay for their own attire but if it were a problem then I'd speak to my FH. He then basically told me (but not in so many words) that since he is paying for it this was the way he was doing it!

Next problem....

He has said several times that he doesn't know what he'll be doing for work then so he wasn't sure when he'd come up. We are getting married on a Sat. and will either be having a rehearsal dinner on the Thurs or Fri (not sure yet). We told him last week that he needed to be here by Wed. & he said ok. Now he just told me that he was coming up Thurs. GRRRRRRRR! He also tried to get us to invite his GF kids! NOT!!!!

Next problem.......

He just told my FH that he is coming up Wed. and will stay at our house Wed & Thurs then go to a hotel Fri when his GF flies up. I told FH that I don't think that it is a good idea. That we will have alot to do and alot will be going on. I WILL NOT be playing hostess the few days before my wedding!!!!!!!


I am soooooo stressed. This has got me so worried! I think it is even starting to worry my FH and nothing usually worries him. FH has mentioned asking him to step down & having his Dad as his Best man!

Edited to say: TOO MANY DAMN PROBLEMS FOR ME!

Just curious, what kind of disability does he have?

I only asked his disability because maybe he feels uncomfortable around alot of people.

I have found during wedding planning time, alot of the negativity in people comes out. I have also found out who are my good freinds.

Have FH talk to him and ask him if he really wants to be part of your day and to work out some sort of a schedule with you so that nothing interferes with either parties schedules so you can plan your events without stress.

Good Luck

Thanks Jenn! FH is going to call him tonight & talk to him!

Jodi, I'm sorry you are feeling this stress, but maybe I can make you smile...
When I first saw the title of your post, my extreme sleepiness made me read it as 'BATMAN stressing me out'... LOL

LOL JennRenee!

Well FH called his BM & pretty much got no where. other than telling him he can't stay at our home for 2 days before the wedding!

I am really worried that something is going to go really wrong!

I live in Florida, want me to go knock some sense into him Sorry just trying to make you smile

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}
Now try to stay calm and breathe!!! You have time before your wedding to see if this guys attitude is going to change or not! I totally agree with Jenn you definately find out who your real friends are. If he continues to give you problems your FH can always ask him to step down. You guys need to do what your heart tells you this is your wedding and unless you are asking him to do unreal things then he should comply. Your day will be wonderful no matter what!

LOL Debbie

Thanks Stacey

Welcome

lol debbie!

jodi yes maybe ask him to step down?

edited to say I asked someone not to step down, but step out.

I had to, she wasn't the same person as I knew anymore

Jenn,

Since it is not one of my Bridesmaids it is not for me to do. I have already removed 2 bridesmaids that were making me nuts.

Jodi

Jodi,

You are right it is not your place to ask him to step down. Your Fh must do this.

Being ia a wedding party is a great responsibility, and you need people you can depend on and who will not drive you crazy.

Have a discussion with FH and tell him this is what you think would be best for all concerned-

While you would love for him to be a guest at your wedding you are going to go a different route with the wedding party.

The BM started harrassing me online earlier tonight & told me that I am nuts & to take a hike!





I spoke to FH & he is calling the BM tonight to tell him he wants him to come as a guest but that he is going to ask his dad to be his best man! And that he cannot talk to me or treat me that way because I am his FW

Good, I am glad this is resolved.

Happy planning, we are here for you.