Should I just elope?? Take the wedding money for a house downpayment like offered to me? I am feeling sick about this whole thing, I feel like I should go to an island somewhere.
But then I think about my dress.....
Irishbride
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Orginally FI and I were going to go an Island and have just our imediate family and friends attend. but then we stared thing about the wedding its self the dress and everything that goes with it. We decided to have the whole big wedding. But I am lucky FI already owns a house. I think that I would have been sorry if I did it the other way. JMO.
cuteypie
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do you both live on your own now?
Jess2
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We went through the same thing, especially after family members drove us crazy after we first got engaged. But for me, I want my friends & family there on my wedding day & so does my FI. It's up to you, but if other people are making you crazy & that's why you're thinking of it, i wouldn't.
CopacabanaBride
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I feel your pain. I said this countless times during the planning process and most of the time I was downright serious...
Rob (DH) was sensible enough to say each and every time 'I'm not going to live with you saying you should have done it' for the rest of his life. LOL It sounds so funny, but he was right. I wanted it, it was just hard dealing with the stress and drama involved.
Do what you feel will be what you're ahppy with in the long run.
Sunny
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My fh wants to elope......
dubliner
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I think we all have those feelings - but we know all the attention to detail will pay off in the end.
If eloping is OK with everyone ? (I say this bc I would have eloped, but FH is an only child and thats just not fair)
If its really what you want - do it
Sunny
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Thank you all for listening- I was having a bad mood swing. Mom would love it if I eloped, fh would love it, but I want to wear a pretty dress!
DecBride04
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I hear those words from my FH everyday... 'OMG, all the Money , we should elope, we could have a sweet down payment on a house with all the money' Day in and Day out, this is what I hear. Some times I think to go that root, but it is for the reasons of annoying parents and family members thinking they should plan my wedding. So when I sit back and realize what is happening, I try to remember that I want the 'Big White Wedding' and that I am doing it for me and FH. I know I would have regrets if I didn't. It has to be about what you want and feel in your heart.
smooch
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We considered it several times (esp bc FH's family isn't so crazy about me) but I have always wanted a big wedding. I've never been the center of attn before! Even now, though, we think about it. All the money we could save! We just bought a house but it needs a lot of work. The money I am saving for the wedding could do wonders on the house, but we will always have something to fix on the house, not always the opportunity to pull off a wedding.
It's up to you though, whatever you two are comfortable with. Don't worry about the money. Remember you are sure to get plenty as gifts, so you aren't really spending that entire amount on the wedding. Do what is in your heart.
NuBride
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Sunny, why can't you wear a pretty dress if you elope???? I had a wedding and me and hubby paid for it ourselves, fortunately for us we could afford it, however it was small....a year a half later we are closing on a house, not our dream house but a house.
It all depends on your priorities..good luck.
jenny2penny
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.
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Boop2704
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Its a lot of work but think about the day of your wedding and how all the hard work will pay off. Don't do something you'll regret.
pschica
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we keep asking ourselevs the same question, especially after fh mom passed away but then we thought about it and realized we are only planning on doing this once and in our families (they're big) we hardly have a chance to see everyone except the weddings and funerals thing and that we really wanted to one day be able to look back and have pictures and memories of everyone who was there...our families are getting older and we don't see each other enough and we figured that even if we have to put off buying our dream house for a while, we can b/c memories are worth so much to us now.....
(just my 2 cents...)
cluelessbride
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Sunny I'm going through the same thing. My FH and I recently found out that our church is going through some major problems (one priest is charged with child molestation) and they don't return our calls. So now we're thinking 'why are we doing this anyway?' For us, a houses is important because it means we could have children, without the house, there is simply no room for kids!!
So while we're not going to elope, we're going to scale down the party. Instead of spending what we could on a down payment, we're aiming for a small affair but with all the touches that I can't live without - fabulous dress, fun programs, our closest friends by our side. It won't be what people expect when they go to a wedding, but it will be personal, intimate, and no one - FH or myself - will feel we missed out on buying a home sooner.
My advice would be to think about why you want a big wedding, and weigh those priorities against thoses of buying a house.
BTW- a friend of mine eloped in Key West but invited their closest family and friends - it was great! We all had a blast and it was very personal an intimate.
Good luck to you!
Robeymuse
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that was our original plan, to get married on an Island and just invite our immediate family. We did all the research but then decided that both of our extended families and friends would be hurt if we didn't invite them. So here we are, planning this monster wedding. In the end, I think it will be worth it, to spend the day with everybody I care about. Good Luck!
Olgaki
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I couldn't think to elope - I can't wait to share my day with everyone. But once I write down lists of vendors to go see and waste every friggen weekend I go ughhhhh - Jamaica sounds good everyday.
IrishTracy
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Origionally FH wanted to just go to Vegas. I was ok with the idea. Then I thought about it & changed my mind. I want to wear the dress & have my family there. And of course PARTY!!!! Just sit down & really think about it. Write down the pros & cons and see which wins out. You can have a wedding but just make it simple.
HappyMica
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It's your wedding day so you should do whatever you and your fiance feel is right for the both of you. List the pros and cons of your options. My wedding is approaching soon and everyday I think about eloping My fiance would love it! But we both know in the end, a family wedding in church is what we want. The planning can overwhelm you and give you bad days but just take a moment and relax. We want to purchase a house soon but we have an apartment to live in for now.
Sassy
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I say think about what you really want. I know for me, I dreamed all my life about a big wonderful production of a wedding, LOL, so when I thought about eloping it didn't give me the same feeling of joy as when I thought about the big wedding. Unfortunaltey a lot of drama and stress comes with that, but if it's what you really want, it's all worth it. If that's not what is really in your heart, then give the eloping or maybe an Island wedding which is not as drastic some serious consideration Good Luck
