Bitterness from single friends when you announce engagement/marriage?

FutureMrsLMS Posted: Dec 21, 2009 11:14 PM

Bitterness from single friends when you announce engagement/marriage?

is it just me or have any of you noticed changes in your relationship with single female friends? Theres a few single friends who I just see occassionally here and there to catch up and all they do is just pile on their drama about how finding a man worth marrying is so hard.,.that the 'good ones are all taken'..and that I am extremely fortunate to have found Mr. Right...at times I just want to shoot them...and I hate how some single female friends act like marriage is the be all, end all of life !! (I dont think it is, I would be just as happy if I had not met FH and just have more free time to travel, etc!).

am I being petty or is this something common that you brides to be have also encountered in your friendships? thoughts? comments?

grkbarbie Posted: Dec 21, 2009 11:18 PM

Re: Bitterness from single friends when you announce engagement/marriage?

i hate the ones that complain 24/7 about not being able to find mr. right when they are the ones with the problem! they go for the d-bags and/or are gold diggin hoeeeeeez that dont deserve to find a good guy.

those r the ones i cant stand.

but i dont get annoyed when the girls or guys that complain truly are great ppl .

wenR Posted: Dec 21, 2009 11:19 PM

Re: Bitterness from single friends when you announce engagement/marriage?

Yes, it happens. Someone once told me that when you get engaged, you find out who your real friends are....
to be fair, I was jealous when my friend got engaged before I did, it took me a week to get over it. I never told her how I felt. But in the end I was really happy for her.
Some of your friends will come around, just give them time. Best of all Enjoy your engagement!

Nina1010 Posted: Dec 22, 2009 12:01 AM

Re: Bitterness from single friends when you announce engagement/marriage?

Yes...for me its not that I find they aren't happy for me. They are just more aware of how single they are, which makes them miserable. In our mid thirties, its more like a race with the clock and their frustration to 'catch-up' with friends who already have the house, marriage, kids and mini-van. I just hate to feel guilty for being happy.

M_Berk-Glenn Posted: Dec 22, 2009 06:31 AM

Re: Bitterness from single friends when you announce engagement/marriage?

Your not alone. Its like my friends compete with each other to prove which one is in a worst relationship. Its really annoying. Im sick of listening to their complaints abt how all men sux and blah blah blah. Then they say crap like are you sure you want to get married or why you guys getting married. I told FH I need to find new friends, I dont want to hide being happy.

Spring143 Posted: Dec 22, 2009 07:11 AM

Re: Bitterness from single friends when you announce engagement/marriage?

after we got engaged a friend wouldnt see of really speak to us until she got engaged.

dfw343 Posted: Dec 22, 2009 08:27 AM

Re: Bitterness from single friends when you announce engagement/marriage?

at my age, I found the ones married or in a miserable relationship are acting weird.
I guess cuz I took my time and didn't settle?

My single friends my age, I give them hope, they welcome it!

MrsSoto Posted: Dec 22, 2009 08:29 AM

Re: Bitterness from single friends when you announce engagement/marriage?

oh totally! i cant even get into it or ill get upset. look, i was in that stage at one point too that i wanted to be engaged and everyone around me was instead but i was mature and showed my happiness for them regardless that i had feelings about my own situation. people are immature and rude and thats what it comes down too.

but, yes, ive definately experienced this as well

kris_gets_hitched Posted: Dec 22, 2009 08:35 AM

Re: Bitterness from single friends when you announce engagement/marriage?

I had one - my friend that lives in Hawaii, and almost everyone at the cupcake G2G heard a lot about her and her wacky ways - anyway, she was a little bitter in the beginning. When I told her the news, her reaction was 'ohhh....so you're going to be all....married and stuff....and having babies and stuff....' I was like 'yeah, I'm going to be married, but ain't no children passing through these loins anytime soon!'
She never had much luck with men. Maybe if she'd lay off the bong a little bit, she'd attract more guys to her.

Another friend of mine, my best guy friend, asked me during a serious conversation if this would change our friendship. I told him absolutely not; when FH and I started dating I told him right off the bat that I had a best friend that's a guy, and we've been friends since we were teens, and that he's been in my life before FH and if thing didn't work out, he'd still be in my life. FH understood; he was actually close friends with a girl from high school and felt nervous about telling me that. So anyway, yes, this guy was concerned but once I reassured him that we'll still go out together like we always do, it was all good.

edited - typo.

christine2010 Posted: Dec 22, 2009 08:38 AM

Re: Bitterness from single friends when you announce engagement/marriage?

the majority of my female friends are married & starting families, so they are very happy & supportive towards us & the same with our single friends or friends that are in new relationships.
i see a big issue with FHs guy friends. some of them just don't get it. don't get me wrong, they are happy for us but on the other hand it seems like they are going to have a nervous breakdown at any moment. FH & i have been together for almost 10 years, but we have a very comfortable relationship. when it comes to making plans we don't consult each other, we make our plans & then discuss it & work our schedule out. but now that we are getting married the guys find it hard to understand that we have to discuss things before & obviously the expense of things has to be considered together.

miamimerger Posted: Dec 22, 2009 08:50 AM

Re: Bitterness from single friends when you announce engagement/marriage?

I think I really haven't heard anything like this...at least not to my face, haha. The only person I've seen a change in is my sister...and that's for the better! She has been in a few terrible relationships, and meeting my FH is making her question her choice in men. I'm actually really proud that she admires FH that much :).

JennandAnthony Posted: Dec 22, 2009 08:50 AM

Re: Bitterness from single friends when you announce engagement/marriage?

I lost my best friend since 9th grade after I got engaged.....she was wasnt self pitying she would bash him saying he was taking our friendship away bc I spent a lot of time with him and that I changed..(I invited her to everything) So you are not the only going through it. My feelings are that if they are true friends they will be happy for you and support you and if they want to feel bad for themselves once in a while let them.....

NewYorker09 Posted: Dec 22, 2009 08:53 AM

Re: Bitterness from single friends when you announce engagement/marriage?

I haven't experienced this all that much . . . but I think many of my friends are more progressive and aren't that concerned with getting married. I do occasionally hear girls at work complain but it's definitely not directed at me because I'm engaged. I guess it just depends on the type of people you're around. It actually surprises me how few of my friends even talk about wanting to get married (and we're close to 30).

JAAMS Posted: Dec 22, 2009 09:56 AM

Re: Bitterness from single friends when you announce engagement/marriage?

how about when FH & I started dating, my group of friends went bonkers from jealously and caused some really big horrible problems

MrsC2010 Posted: Dec 22, 2009 10:07 AM

Re: Bitterness from single friends when you announce engagement/marriage?

most of my friends have been so happy for me and fully supportive. i do have a few single friends that can't stand when anyone else gets engaged or married....or even talks about being engaged/married. Its just frustrating that they can't be happy for their friends regardless of whats going on in their life.

AngnShaun Posted: Dec 22, 2009 10:09 AM

Re: Bitterness from single friends when you announce engagement/marriage?

none of my friends have mentioned anything to me... im one of the older ones so i think thats probably why

Future Mrs P Posted: Dec 22, 2009 10:11 AM

Re: Bitterness from single friends when you announce engagement/marriage?

We def had more problems when we were younger and first started dating. Our friends accused us of abandoning them, but everyone has been super supportive and excited about the engagement, but we do have a lot of friends who are now in serious relationships so that might be why.

Roccosgirl Posted: Dec 22, 2009 04:41 PM

Re: Bitterness from single friends when you announce engagement/marriage?

My friendship with a co-worker really changed when I got serious with my FH. It was very hard for her to accept that I was with someone. I did partially understand because many times I was the only single one out of all my friends and I know what it feels like to see everyone with someone but you. But I think I can honestly say I was always happy for my friends and never acted different toward them. When I got engaged my coworker friend stopped talking to me altogether for a while. We have pretty much managed to become somewhat friends again but it wont ever be the same.

cleokizzy Posted: Dec 22, 2009 04:43 PM

Re: Bitterness from single friends when you announce engagement/marriage?

that *****. just ignore them!

BLBride Posted: Dec 22, 2009 04:59 PM

Re: Bitterness from single friends when you announce engagement/marriage?

I have experienced problems related to this from a close friend, who is in a relationship but not engaged (so I wasn't really expecting it). It has really affected our friendship.