Our wedding ceremony begins at 11:30 AM at Flowerfield. My mom would like to write Black Tie Optional on the invitation, but all the etiquette books say that you can't have a black tie affair during the day. Plus, my FI doesn't want guys wearing tuxes who aren't in the wedding party. However, I understand that my mom doesn't want people underdressing either - she doesn't want women to come wearing more casual dresses simply because it is a daytime wedding.
So.... please help! Should we put black tie optional on the invitation, or should we just leave it off and not mention anything about the attire?
Thanks!
jill13bean
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Re: Black tie optional for Sunday AM wedding?
honestly nothing about ettiquette but i would not put black tie optional for a day wedding... i think people might get annoyed but then again you know your guests best and it is your day so do what you want
day weddings tend to be less dressy than night weddings but i dont think anyone will not come dressed appropriately
PlanningFromATL
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Re: Black tie optional for Sunday AM wedding?
Day weddings should not be black tie optional....it is only for an evening wedding. If you want people more dressed, I would spread the word verbally. But then again, I'm not a big fan of black tie opitional for weddings.... i think the groomsman should stick out from the guests - jmo
BriBri529
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Re: Black tie optional for Sunday AM wedding?
Can you put formal or semi-formal attire instead??
mjf1010
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What does 'formal attire' imply? What about 'semi-formal'? I am so confused.
What have other Sunday day wedding brides done for their invitations?
sophie78
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Re: Black tie optional for Sunday AM wedding?
I would not put anything.
MegLehner
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I def dont think you should write on your invite the type of attire your guests should wear. Most etiquette books say that is not proper. Plus it might annoy people. Your mom is right that people might not think to dress very fancy since the wedding is during the day. I would just spread your prefered attire through word of mouth. Ive already had some people tell me they were wearing their tuxes to my wedding and a lot of my friends are wearing gowns. But what it boils down to is that people are going to wear what they want to wear, Im sure that some girls will show up in cocktail dresses, but what can you do. - hopefully they will be able to tell by your venue how to dress. either way I dont think it will reflect badly on you what your guest wear.
samsbride
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Re: Black tie optional for Sunday AM wedding?
You have to do this by word of mouth. Black tie optional is really strange for a Sunday morning wedding. I'm not one to follow the rules but I just think by its nature - Sunday weddings are less formal. Don't your guests know how to dress? I'd still wear a semi-formal dress to a day wedding (just not an evening dress and Fh wouldn't wear a tux)
I don't know that there is a foolproof way to get your point across but it seems as if Black tie optional is only going to annoy some people. Those who want to come informally are going to do it anyway.
karen32
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Re: Black tie optional for Sunday AM wedding?
i agree with the other ladies - black tie optional is not appropriate for a Sunday AM wedding.
Monkeybride
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Re: Black tie optional for Sunday AM wedding?
I have to agree black tie optional is not for a day wedding. I wouldn't put anything. It's NY people will dress appropriately so I wouldn't worry too much.
marymoon
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Re: Black tie optional for Sunday AM wedding?
When in Doubt..Peggy Post!
This is the attire for the MOST FORMAL DAYTIME WEDDING.
As in, this is as formal as daytime gets..
Bride: Long white dress, rrain and veil, gloves optional
Brides Attendants: Long dresses, matching shoes, gloves are bride's option
Groom, His attendants, Bride's father: Cutaway coat, Striped Trousers, pear grey waistcoat, white stiff shirt, turndown collar with grey-an-black striped four-in-hand or wing collar with ascot, gray gloves, blakc silk socks, black kid shoes.
Mothers: Long or short dresses - hat, veil or head ornament optional, gloves optional.
Female Guests: Street-length, cocktail or afternoon dresses (color are preferable to black ot white), gloves, head covering optional
Male Guests: Dark suits, conservative shirts and ties.
That's as formal as it gets. Tuxedos really aren't worn by guest for daytime affairs.
ALso, while it's inappropriate to write 'formal attire' on the invitation, the formality of the wording and design of the invitation itself dictates the formality of the affair.
Smolokoff
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Re: Black tie optional for Sunday AM wedding?
A bride I know did this. Her mother said that 'just because they are trying to save a little money by having the wedding on a Sunday afternoon does not make it less formal an occasion than a Saturday night affair. A wedding is a wedding.' I understand her thinking, but I can't say I agree 100% (sorry, sweetie!) JMO!
marymoon
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Re: Black tie optional for Sunday AM wedding?
Yep. I have to agree, it;s one of the trade offs of having a daytime wedding. But like I said, i think the formality of the stye and workding of the invitation itself will dictate attire! I can't say that enough!
MissM
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Re: Black tie optional for Sunday AM wedding?
Black Tie Optinal is more than OK - if you are having an elegany wedding -
these days, anything goes.
Even if it is during the day, and that's what you want. Go for it.
Make it your day!!!!
mjf1010
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Re: Black tie optional for Sunday AM wedding?
Thanks everyone for the suggestions. You have all been very helpful.
