Hi, I am curious of this b/c when it came up last night (I am going to Gyn tomorrow and was making a list of things I want to bring up) FH flipped. He asked me what else he has to do to marry me?? I am going to have one too-its not like I am singling him out. He is VERY stubborn and I think simply is protesting because he wants the upper hand . After I asked him how he feels about potentially spreading something to me he seemed to change his feelings on the topic. Just curious if I am wrong by asking him to do this. By the way-this is important to me know because we are planning to try for children shortly after the wedding-up to date we always use protection-SO this is now an issue.
NY031978
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Re: Blood Tests
I dont think there is anything wrong with asking for a test...BUT i personally feel if anyone was to do that....dont ya think you would of had it done before yrs of dating or planning a wedding?? I get its protected....but still thats not 100%. Dont mean to sound hash I guess maybe I say that bc we had a child already and actually we got preggo while using BC!
rkl1130
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Re: Blood Tests
I personally think it's perfectly okay for you to ask. Once you explained to him your reasoning, he started understanding more right?
I know we've done just to be on the safe side. My gyno also suggested we go and get tested for the genes for certain diseases as well and gave me the info. if we were interested. I think you are just watching out for yours and FH's health, which is reasonable.
afrodyt2000
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Re: Blood Tests
I told him he had to get tested for HIV and STDs when we first started dating, before we had sex and before we ever considered not using condoms all the time. He's been tested several times and I don't think there's anything wrong with asking that he get tested. I get tested every year at my annual gyn appointment.
MrsQ-in2007
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Re: Blood Tests
Before my FH and I got intimate, I asked him to get tested. I go every year (even still and we've been together for 4 and a half years). I do trust him completely, but I also personally know of one person who got HIV from her HUSBAND years into their marriage (after they had 2 kids) - he got it from a supposed one night stand that he had. So, things happen and while I do believe that my FH and I are true to one another, my health comes first. At a minimum, I would ask for a one time test.
My FH took it really well, even though at first he was like, why? I'm clean. LOL. I just said, well how can you be SURE if you haven't been tested, so he went, everything was a-ok, and that was that.
I honestly think its a good thing and think everyone should do it.
AlliCatB
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Re: Blood Tests
I said 'other' because he and I both donate blood every few months, so our testing is automatically done for us. HTH.
Future Mrs.
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stupidly, I never thought about this.
charisma
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FH & I are doing ours...
TnOiOnL
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My fh wouldnt care.. He'd go without putting up a fight!
XFINALLYX
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like someone else said, you probably should've gotten that done a long time ago. i definetely wouldnt have been with fh this long if he didnt haha. its scary.
SeptBride70
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Posted by Future Mrs.
stupidly, I never thought about this.
yep me too
i'm sure vin's fine it's just something that naive dani forgot to do...
dawnbridetobe
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Re: Blood Tests
Posted by XFINALLYX
like someone else said, you probably should've gotten that done a long time ago. i definetely wouldnt have been with fh this long if he didnt haha. its scary.
I agree-I should have done it earlier-(although he has been tested right before our relationship began and was fine) but this only makes my point more valid-IMO-that he should agree to take one no questions asked!
Actually I am quite surprised about the # of people that replied no to the poll-I am not judging at all-just curious as to why you are choosing not to have the test done at all.
beachbum05
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Well, I think that everyone should get tested. We did in the beginning of our relationship, hence why we dont need to do it now.
werock0709
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My FH would go without question.
Aug07OFCbride
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I don't think there is anything wrong w/ requesting this at all... esp in your case where you've always used protection and after wedding you won't be if you're trying for kids.
Aug07OFCbride
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just guessing... but maybe those who answered no have been w/ partner for a while and are using BC and not condoms or some other form of BC and since they haven't gotten anything from partner, they assume everything is a-okay.
jjk1007
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Re: Blood Tests
When FH and I first started dating I made him go get a blood test to test him for all kinds of things. My mom is HIV positive because her Fiance at the time didnt know that he had it. So, FH really didnt have an argument, he knew exactly why I was asking. I think its very important. Dont be naive ladies. JMHO.
leshellem
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Re: Blood Tests
I replied no. As stupid as it sounds, we haven't used condoms for such a long time now. Honestly wouldn't make sense to bring that up now. Also I think girls who ask for a test are in the minority (a smart minority, but a minority nonetheless). It was a year after I was with FH before we didn't use anything. I trust him and he trust me.
mskittynj
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Re: Blood Tests
I don't think it's bad that you asked....He might be defensive because I guess after all the time you guys have been together you're asking now...But you're entitled to ask for your own safety! XOXOXO Kitty
charisma
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Re: Blood Tests
Posted by leshellem
I replied no. As stupid as it sounds, we haven't used condoms for such a long time now. Honestly wouldn't make sense to bring that up now. Also I think girls who ask for a test are in the minority (a smart minority, but a minority nonetheless). It was a year after I was with FH before we didn't use anything. I trust him and he trust me.
JMO.... its not a trust issue, you or Fh could have contracted anything in a past relationship and not be aware of it...STD's & HIV do not show themselves immediately, so I think it is an unselfish thing to do to make sure you protect the person that you love...i wouldn't leave Fh if he had anything it's just wise to know so that everyone can be safe
