BM Advice, please!
Okay so, this is going to be a little long, but I need help figuring out what to do here!
One of my best friends is obviously going to be a BM at my wedding, but I don't want her boyfriend there. By any means.
Here's a little backstory:
They've been dating on and off for 4 years now. I have spent a grand total of 1 hour with him, in that time we were helping my BM move into her new apartment and he refused to speak to me because he was mad at her. They're always fighting. He will not spend time with any of her friends. He gets mad at her when she chooses to spend time with us instead of him, and has a temper that has led to her spending the night at my house (on multiple occasions...with her dog) for fear of her own safety because of threats he has made. He repeatedly treats her like garbage and yet she insists on getting back with him every time. She has even admitted that he is 100% emotionally abusive.
All of her friends (myself included) have made it clear to her that we do not support her decision to be with him, and she acknowledges that. She knows that hes a piece of you know what, but insists we don't know him like she does.
Anyway, about a month ago (before their most recent 'break' due to him kicking her out of his house at 2am bc of something she did wrong - which he refused to explain or tell her what it was) we were talking about my wedding with a few friends and she casually mentioned that she cant wait to be there and that he will finally be forced to spend time with her friends. I didn't say anything then because I didn't know how to approach it, but there is NO WAY this man is going to be at my wedding. Shes a BM, therefore she won't be able to spend a lot of time with him. He'll get mad at her for not having all attention on him, and he knows absolutely no one else.
How do I tell her this? I was originally just going to send the invite addressed to only her, with no guest, but should I just have a talk with her sooner rather than wait that long?
She's going to be upset either way, but this is something I refuse to compromise on. What do I do?!
One of my best friends is obviously going to be a BM at my wedding, but I don't want her boyfriend there. By any means.
Here's a little backstory:
They've been dating on and off for 4 years now. I have spent a grand total of 1 hour with him, in that time we were helping my BM move into her new apartment and he refused to speak to me because he was mad at her. They're always fighting. He will not spend time with any of her friends. He gets mad at her when she chooses to spend time with us instead of him, and has a temper that has led to her spending the night at my house (on multiple occasions...with her dog) for fear of her own safety because of threats he has made. He repeatedly treats her like garbage and yet she insists on getting back with him every time. She has even admitted that he is 100% emotionally abusive.
All of her friends (myself included) have made it clear to her that we do not support her decision to be with him, and she acknowledges that. She knows that hes a piece of you know what, but insists we don't know him like she does.
Anyway, about a month ago (before their most recent 'break' due to him kicking her out of his house at 2am bc of something she did wrong - which he refused to explain or tell her what it was) we were talking about my wedding with a few friends and she casually mentioned that she cant wait to be there and that he will finally be forced to spend time with her friends. I didn't say anything then because I didn't know how to approach it, but there is NO WAY this man is going to be at my wedding. Shes a BM, therefore she won't be able to spend a lot of time with him. He'll get mad at her for not having all attention on him, and he knows absolutely no one else.
How do I tell her this? I was originally just going to send the invite addressed to only her, with no guest, but should I just have a talk with her sooner rather than wait that long?
She's going to be upset either way, but this is something I refuse to compromise on. What do I do?!
