BM Backed out of the wedding

Original post by JanineG

Mar 09, 2009 10:44 AM

I am still in shock.
I'm not really sure what happend.
My familly was a little upset with her because she didn't help with the shower, and when it came to paying at the end of the shower she didn't have the money with her and she left crying.
We didn't hear from her for 3 weeks, after calling and texting....
She finally called yesterday and explained she didn't really have the money and she felt that she was ignored at the shower by my family. (keep in mind this has nothing to do with me) I told her that I just wanted her to be at the wedding, I don't expect a gift or anything, I just want her to be there. We hung up ok. But then her husband called me 5 minutes later, yelling about how she's hysterical crying and he she's not going to the Bachelorette party or the wedding after how she's been treated. And she had lent me her veil and she wants it back...So he told me to leave it outside and he came and picked it up.

15 years of friendship gone.

AdriandSteve Posted: Mar 09, 2009 02:46 PM

Re: BM Backed out of the wedding

10 crashing.

I agree that it def sounds like she's embarassed.

It's a lot easier for people to be mad then admit that they don't have the $ for something that obv means something to them.
I do think she should have talked to you about it before resigning as a BM but everyone has their own way of doing something
(years ago i had a friend who i've known since 2nd grade leave a party cuz she and her fam couldn't afford a gift and she left crying).

Give her some time and talk with her and see what she says.

KerriJohnS Posted: Mar 09, 2009 03:43 PM

Re: BM Backed out of the wedding

How awful. She is probably embarrased about money.
Let time pass. It's sad but people come and go from our lives... even after 15 years of friendship. It's even sadder when things end after something so ridiculous. There isn't anything you can do. You've done all you can. Just count your loses and move on. Sorry to sound harsh but clearly she isn't in the same mindset about your friendship as you are.

Ann 52409 Posted: Mar 09, 2009 03:45 PM

Re: BM Backed out of the wedding

wow that is so sad, I cant believe it. Even if she did not have money she could still have been a part of your day, you didnt treat her bad so she should not treat you like this. It is unfortunate but weddings make you realize so many things.

ChrissyV729 Posted: Mar 09, 2009 03:56 PM

Re: BM Backed out of the wedding

That is horrible!! I am so sorry ! There has to be something behind this. You should try talking to her again. 15 years is a long time to throw away.. so sad

Deeglasser Posted: Mar 09, 2009 05:30 PM

Re: BM Backed out of the wedding

it sounds to me that she is not being completely honest with you as to why she is feeling this way... did she give you specifics? did you ask her to give you specific examples of what is making her feel so upset? this doesn't sound normal to me that she would not want to be your friend anymore after 15 years because of something that had nothing to do with you... i wouldn't give up just yet... maybe have her meet you one on one in person not over the phone just the 2 of you with no outside influences (i.e. her husband)

JanineG Posted: Mar 09, 2009 05:42 PM

Re: BM Backed out of the wedding

She didn't give me any specifics. She let her husband call me.
I'm moving on. I would NEVER do that to a friend. Ask for my veil back. And not even give me the courtesy of an explanation by coming on the phone.
she obviously has some other issues with me that I guess she never admitted to and felt it better to end it thru her husband then for her to have to do it herself. I think she took the easy way out.

Anyone know of any good Veil stores :)

kgicrls Posted: Mar 09, 2009 05:57 PM

Re: BM Backed out of the wedding

Oh My Goodness! That is crazy... I'm sorry that happened to you

megsher Posted: Mar 09, 2009 06:28 PM

Re: BM Backed out of the wedding

Wow. I'm sorry.

coldasice217 Posted: Mar 09, 2009 06:42 PM

Re: BM Backed out of the wedding

Wow, I'm sorry that happened. It definitely seems a little off though, something else must be going on. People just don't snap for no reason.

MrsDtoBe09 Posted: Mar 09, 2009 06:45 PM

Re: BM Backed out of the wedding

Oh man, I'm sorry. I can relate to bm horror shows, unfortunately.

little34 Posted: Mar 09, 2009 06:53 PM

Re: BM Backed out of the wedding

wow!!! It sounds like she totally blew things out of proportion! I am sure she was having some financial issues but to not even come even when you said you just want her there...I am sorry. I am sure she is under a ton of stress....maybe she will come around and see that she blew up. I am sorry!!!