alright so I haven't asked any of my girls yet to be maid of honor/bridesmaids since I don't have a ring yet! we picked our date but no ring so only halfway engaged? lol. anyway only when I have the ring will I ask my girls. in a cutesy way too. though of course my closest friends sort of know they are going to be asked especially my bff.
anyway one of my friends the other night asked to be one of my bridesmaids. and was like I'm going to be one right? and then was like you better make me one! isn't that rude? or something a girl should not do? I didn't know what to say and I didn't even answer since #1 I wasn't going to ask her #2 I'm not even that close to her and #3 she has tons of drama going on in her life and personal issues I can't see her being in my bridal party.
I'm a nice girl though and I feel bad so what do I do now? what's worse is she knows all the girls in my future bridal party. not that she's close to them either. I wasn't expecting her to ask! I mean who does that? lol.
SoontobeGallagher
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Re: Bm drama
That's really annoying and rude of them to even ask that. I didn't get that with the BM's, but we did get that from people who thought they were going to be invited to the wedding. This is your day! You get to pick who is in your party, and no one else.
MrsJPH2012
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Re: Bm drama
Yes, that is totally rude. My BFF did that to me when I told her I was engaged but in a funny way... she was like Umm omg I'm your MOH right? But thats because she obviously was, and we both laughed about it. I know it may seem like you want to call the girl out for being rude but you don't want any negativity surrounding your wedding, so just give a generic answer when anyone asks... that you haven't asked ANY of your bridal party yet for a number of reasons, and when the time is right the girls will know.
poisonivy918
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Re: Bm drama
Posted by SoontobeGallagher
That's really annoying and rude of them to even ask that. I didn't get that with the BM's, but we did get that from people who thought they were going to be invited to the wedding. This is your day! You get to pick who is in your party, and no one else.
I just don't know what to say. I know once I ask my girls she's going to say something else.
MrsDrinkh20
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Re: Bm drama
Too bad so sad. She should have a bit of class an know not to even say things like that. If she says anything you just let her rant and say Sorry you feel tht way and end the conversation. It's your day and you should have the people you want to be standing with you.
What about having her do a reading?
poisonivy918
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Re: Bm drama
Posted by MrsDrinkh20
Too bad so sad. She should have a bit of class an know not to even say things like that. If she says anything you just let her rant and say Sorry you feel tht way and end the conversation. It's your day and you should have the people you want to be standing with you.
What about having her do a reading?
we're just doing a quick 30 minute ceremony at the hall. she's not even close enough to me for me to pick her for something like that.
poisonivy918
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Re: Bm drama
Posted by MrsJPH2012
Yes, that is totally rude. My BFF did that to me when I told her I was engaged but in a funny way... she was like Umm omg I'm your MOH right? But thats because she obviously was, and we both laughed about it. I know it may seem like you want to call the girl out for being rude but you don't want any negativity surrounding your wedding, so just give a generic answer when anyone asks... that you haven't asked ANY of your bridal party yet for a number of reasons, and when the time is right the girls will know.
me and my bff joke all the time about being in each other's bridal parties. this girl wasn't joking and I was just shocked. I wasn't planning on asking her. esp with all her personal drama. I can't see her showing up to anything or being able to help at all. I don't know why she'd even want to be. she also has no $$$. maybe she doesn't realize what a bm is? lol. that she thinks she just shows up on the wedding day and gets to say she's a bm.
GR2010
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Re: Bm drama
I would ignore it.... You can ask to be in a bridal party, it's rude and she shouldn't have put you on the spot like that.
MrsJPH2012
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Re: Bm drama
Posted by poisonivy918
Posted by MrsJPH2012
Yes, that is totally rude. My BFF did that to me when I told her I was engaged but in a funny way... she was like Umm omg I'm your MOH right? But thats because she obviously was, and we both laughed about it. I know it may seem like you want to call the girl out for being rude but you don't want any negativity surrounding your wedding, so just give a generic answer when anyone asks... that you haven't asked ANY of your bridal party yet for a number of reasons, and when the time is right the girls will know.
me and my bff joke all the time about being in each other's bridal parties. this girl wasn't joking and I was just shocked. I wasn't planning on asking her. esp with all her personal drama. I can't see her showing up to anything or being able to help at all. I don't know why she'd even want to be. she also has no $$$. maybe she doesn't realize what a bm is? lol. that she thinks she just shows up on the wedding day and gets to say she's a bm.
She probably wants to feel wanted, or to have some attention (especially if there is drama in her life). We haven't chosen the BP yet, but when we do I want it to be small and with those who I'm actually close with... considering I move around a lot its easy to cut out those who I'm not close with. But she probably thinks she's special if you ask her. Either way, no excuse for rudeness. I'm still trying to figure out if I'm in one of my best friend's parties and there is no way I would ever dream of asking her as to not embarass her.
KarynK
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Re: Bm drama
My cousins gf, who is also my friend, also asked me that. I told her flat out no, her bf will be my Man of Honor. I told her I am not having anyone else.
poisonivy918
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Re: Bm drama
Posted by MrsJPH2012
Posted by poisonivy918
Posted by MrsJPH2012
Yes, that is totally rude. My BFF did that to me when I told her I was engaged but in a funny way... she was like Umm omg I'm your MOH right? But thats because she obviously was, and we both laughed about it. I know it may seem like you want to call the girl out for being rude but you don't want any negativity surrounding your wedding, so just give a generic answer when anyone asks... that you haven't asked ANY of your bridal party yet for a number of reasons, and when the time is right the girls will know.
me and my bff joke all the time about being in each other's bridal parties. this girl wasn't joking and I was just shocked. I wasn't planning on asking her. esp with all her personal drama. I can't see her showing up to anything or being able to help at all. I don't know why she'd even want to be. she also has no $$$. maybe she doesn't realize what a bm is? lol. that she thinks she just shows up on the wedding day and gets to say she's a bm.
She probably wants to feel wanted, or to have some attention (especially if there is drama in her life). We haven't chosen the BP yet, but when we do I want it to be small and with those who I'm actually close with... considering I move around a lot its easy to cut out those who I'm not close with. But she probably thinks she's special if you ask her. Either way, no excuse for rudeness. I'm still trying to figure out if I'm in one of my best friend's parties and there is no way I would ever dream of asking her as to not embarass her.
I want to keep my party small to my best friends. not just random girls I've known for a few years. especially ones with all her problems. I sound so mean lol. I just don't want any drama with my wedding or any omg situations like if she disappears or doesn't get a dress, or etc. I don't see how she has no money and wants to be in my bridal party. plus she can't even come to anything. I think she just really wants the title.
annabellagirl
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Re: Bm drama
ARE U KIDDING ME???? she actually said that to you! That is RIDIULOUS! Listen girl, you aren't even officially engaged yet and people are already being idiots! THATS ANNOYING! Im sorry that you are already getting stressed! People suck LOL
Honestly, you ask who you want to ask! When you are ready to ask, you do it....
As far as maid of honor, do you have a sister? Or are one of your friends like the closest and BFF since you were little??? If people get insulted, they dont deserve to be in it and they are selfish!
poisonivy918
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Re: Bm drama
Posted by annabellagirl
ARE U KIDDING ME???? she actually said that to you! That is RIDIULOUS! Listen girl, you aren't even officially engaged yet and people are already being idiots! THATS ANNOYING! Im sorry that you are already getting stressed! People suck LOL
Honestly, you ask who you want to ask! When you are ready to ask, you do it....
As far as maid of honor, do you have a sister? Or are one of your friends like the closest and BFF since you were little??? If people get insulted, they dont deserve to be in it and they are selfish!
yes she did lol. when I mentioned I was getting married but not officially engaged yet she said all that. I wasn't going to ask her to be a bm since we aren't really close. not to mention all her crazy drama/etc going on. I have a bff that is going to be my moh she already knows but I still haven't officially asked anyone yet lol. then I have my closest friends and my friend who has been coming to all the halls all over long island with me lol.
as for this other girl even when I was engaged years ago she said the same thing and I ended up asking her since I felt bad. she did nothing to help, she didn't even go to the engagement party. I didn't marry him and well this time it's different. I don't want a huge party and I don't wanna deal with anything like her not showing up, having no money, not helping, etc. my mom and most of my family live down south so besides my girls no one is going to be helping me! lol.
so yeah I just don't know what to say to her. I feel bad. I know she's gone away for awhile (her drama stuff) but I know once she's back around again she's gonna ask again and by then I'll probably have picked my girls. just ugh for her putting me in a weird situation.
I know she'll yell at me when I say no too. she's that kind of person lol.
FallBride2010
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Re: Bm drama
My recommendation...dont ask her. I included a girl in my BP because I felt bad and didnt want to cause drama...worst decision of my life. Thankfully there was a falling out recently...so she is out. But lesson learned...only include your closest friends
poisonivy918
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Re: Bm drama
Posted by FallBride2010
My recommendation...dont ask her. I included a girl in my BP because I felt bad and didnt want to cause drama...worst decision of my life. Thankfully there was a falling out recently...so she is out. But lesson learned...only include your closest friends
that's my plan. except then she asked. I just can't believe it. I'd never ask that. maybe I'll get lucky and she'll never bring it up again lol.
CantWaitMrsH
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Re: Bm drama
Ill be honest ... Youre getting married over 2 years from now. I would suggest waiting to ask your bridal party. A lot can change in that amount of time ... a lot!
poisonivy918
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Re: Bm drama
Posted by CantWaitMrsH
Ill be honest ... Youre getting married over 2 years from now. I would suggest waiting to ask your bridal party. A lot can change in that amount of time ... a lot!
I never thought of that lol. how long do people wait to actually start asking girls?
allornil
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Re: Bm drama
Posted by poisonivy918
Posted by CantWaitMrsH
Ill be honest ... Youre getting married over 2 years from now. I would suggest waiting to ask your bridal party. A lot can change in that amount of time ... a lot!
I never thought of that lol. how long do people wait to actually start asking girls?
I wouldn't ask until you're wayyy closer..like a year away. and if she asks again, just tell her you cant wait to pick out BM's dresses. they all start at 750 bucks! lol
poisonivy918
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Re: Bm drama
Posted by allornil
Posted by poisonivy918
Posted by CantWaitMrsH
Ill be honest ... Youre getting married over 2 years from now. I would suggest waiting to ask your bridal party. A lot can change in that amount of time ... a lot!
I never thought of that lol. how long do people wait to actually start asking girls?
I wouldn't ask until you're wayyy closer..like a year away. and if she asks again, just tell her you cant wait to pick out BM's dresses. they all start at 750 bucks! lol
lol she'd probably still say yes. she says yes to things but doesn't look at the reality of it. she's going away now for a few months so I hope she just forgets or maybe by then I can say oh sorry I asked everyone already and don't want any more lol.
