BM drama/flaky guests

My mom has recently informed me that she's been really frustrated by a few of my friends. She has sent my shower invites out awhile ago, but has not received any RSVPS from certain guests, some being my BM's. She doesn't know some of them very well, so she doesn't want to feel bothersome, but she needs the final count for the caterer/baker. She even went so far as to send a fb message to some...and she doesn't do Facebook lol I feel really bad since shes very type A and likes to be on top of things, in addition to working long 12 hr days, so I've took it upon myself to just send them a little friendly reminder to respond via text. I did this a wk ago and still have not gotten a response, some from my good friends/bms, yet I see them constantly posting things on fb...like every hr or so. I mean if you have the time to do that, you should have the time to at least respond yes or no. smh

Also, I have some gf's of mine that have not been in contact since I got engaged! I'm starting to regret sending them a save the date, and some have also not responded to my mom. I don't know when my shower is, but I'm guessing its soon since my mom is panicking. Should I even bother sending some of these girls a wedding invite? And what should I do about my bridesmaid that hasn't responded to a single text, email, or fb message?

BM drama/flaky guests

Sorry you're dealing with this, such a tough situation. People can be so rude and inconsiderate. If you tried texting them with no response, I would call them next to see if they answer your call. Hopefully they will have the decency to respond to your shower invite, especially if they are a BM! You will have a fantastic shower regardless. Good luck :)

Re: BM drama/flaky guests

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Posted by jlr5585

Sorry you're dealing with this, such a tough situation. People can be so rude and inconsiderate. If you tried texting them with no response, I would call them next to see if they answer your call. Hopefully they will have the decency to respond to your shower invite, especially if they are a BM! You will have a fantastic shower regardless. Good luck :)

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I definitely agree with calling them. I know it's a hassle, but it may be the only way to get an answer.

As for the people who you sent STDs too and haven't spoken to you since you got engaged, I think it's a toss up. If you really want to cut all ties with them, and don't want them as friends in the future, then I don't think you have to invite them. But you have to be okay with the possibility of backlash from making that choice. If you really do want to continue a friendship with them, then you invite them.

BM drama/flaky guests

Sounds like they're serving out the 'haterade'

Re: BM drama/flaky guests

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Posted by haw4

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Posted by jlr5585

Sorry you're dealing with this, such a tough situation. People can be so rude and inconsiderate. If you tried texting them with no response, I would call them next to see if they answer your call. Hopefully they will have the decency to respond to your shower invite, especially if they are a BM! You will have a fantastic shower regardless. Good luck :)

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As for the people who you sent STDs too and haven't spoken to you since you got engaged, I think it's a toss up. If you really want to cut all ties with them, and don't want them as friends in the future, then I don't think you have to invite them. But you have to be okay with the possibility of backlash from making that choice. If you really do want to continue a friendship with them, then you invite them.

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This!!! Some people are funny, they just want the invite to seem important, but heaven forbid you don't send an invite you are the shady one, meanwhile all they want is the acknowledgement not realizing all that goes in to sending that invite. So if you are okay with the drama that could possibly go along with not inviting them, then go ahead - it will blow over and you save some cash or can invite someone that really wants to be there for you two.

We had a similar situation with our shower as well. For me, I have just taken note to the people that made themselves MIA during this whole process. I don't know what mystical powers getting married has, but it has a way of weeding people out and it's always a shock of who they are. Like your bridesmaid...obviously she is important, she's in your bridal party, but it is not cool that she is not responding. When it happened to us, I didn't count her on the guest list and told my bridal party not to consult her on anything further. I am taking note and I don't plan on having this person in our lives very much. Depending on how close the shower is, I would just count anyone that hasn't responded as a 'No'.

BM drama/flaky guests

It's so sad when such an important event is happening in your life, people show their true colors. I got engaged and someone who I thought was my best friend disappeared. Have not seen her since my engagement and my wedding is just under 6 months. In regards to your situation, I would definitely contact your bridesmaid (especially since she is in your wedding) and in a stern but nice way I would ask for a simple yes or no. Not a text, fb message or email but a phonecall. Eventually you should have a discussion with her as to why she was not able to respond in a timly manner especially to your mom. In regards to your other invites, that is really your call. I think you will have a better idea of who you will or will not invite to your special day after the shower. Don't let this little bump in the road take away from your shower and make sure you surround yourself with people that are genuinely happy for you.

Re: BM drama/flaky guests

I was feeling the same way in my last post. Since then I toughened up and put my foot down.

People who do not reply to the bridal shower count them as a no. There was people who did the same for my shower and they didnt show up.

As for the shady people. Don't send them an invite. Its not worth it to me to give someone who is shady when there is so many other people that really want to come. Cause those are the people who you are gonna have to chase down for RSVPs and you dont need that stress. I decided after my last post to hold back some invites and I did. Dont feel bad either cause its your day and in the end they are prob a bit jelly. You dont need that.

I'm not gonna beg people to be at my wedding... they either respect the invite and the day or they dont and dont get one.

Just sayin.....

PS: I remember your invites and they are wayyyyyyyyyy to pretty to waste on people who are flaky...

Re: BM drama/flaky guests

I personally wouldn't invite all the girls that you have not spoken to since getting engaged - STD or not. Things change unfortunately and clearly they are not invested in your life or being supportive during one of the happiest times for you. As far as your BM I would definitely call her - and I would specifically mention that you've reached out to her several times and see if there is some kind of issue you aren't aware of. I'm not really one for confrontation but I have no tolerance for inconsiderate people. Hope that helps in some way, good luck!

BM drama/flaky guests

Thanks ladies! Its a touchy subject since I've heard through the grapevine that some of these ladies aren't happy that I've been MIA as well. Although with everything going on in my life right now, I would hope they would understand. Its not like I've purposely avoided them. I have a wedding to plan, a new puppy to take care of, new job/house...its a lot! Its def upsetting for me that I would get shaded by some people who I thought were friends. And regarding my BM, its tough to get a hold of her bc she works nights, and when I do call it goes straight to vm. I have briefly spoken to her, but she hurried off to go to work, so nothing got resolved. Hopefully we'll be able to work this out, and thanks for letting me vent girls!

BM drama/flaky guests

OMG the amount of BM drama I have had between them getting their dresses months ago and now the batchelorette party (which I would've liked to have been surprised about) is just insane. I'm so over it. I love them to death and don't understand why they can't make life easier rather than more difficult on me. :/ Good luck to you with your girls.