It turns out that my MOH and one of bridesmaids are not getting along. They apparently got into a huge fight and my bridesmaid made my MOH cry.
My MOH did not involve me in the drama, because she didn't want to upset me. However my bridesmaid told me a little bit about it which got me very mad at my MOH.
After talking to my mother and my fiance it turns out that I did not get anywhere near the same version of the story as they heard from my MOH.
My bridesmaid was ridiculously mean and rude to my MOH and for no good reason. I know that she may have meant well, but she crossed the line.
What do i do? My MOH says she's fine and that she can pretend like nothing happened. My bridesmaid did not say the same thing... she has made me think that there may be some undo drama at my shower, and at this point i do not want a bachelorette party b/c I do not want to deal with the two of them being together if I don't have to.
Do I talk to the Bridesmaid? Or do I just let it go and pretend like I have no idea what's going on?
I already talked to my MOH and told her that I love her and that I'm not happy with how she was treated and that I appreciate the level of maturity she showed in the situation. My FH says to let it be, but my FMIL and my MOM told me to tell my Bridesmaid that I know what happened and that I'm PO'd. I'm afraid that if I do that she'll drop out and I'll lose a good friend...
HELP!
MrsDtoBe09
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Re: BM drama need advice
As hard as this is, if it doesn't directly involve you, try to stay out of it. I'll be the first to admit, I've been in many the uncomfortable position at parties because of another guest but have been able to keep my mouth shut and act appropriately for the party girl. Hopefully, they will get over whatever they fought over without you having to mediate. Just remember, you're their friend and not their mother! Good luck!
mdawg
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Re: BM drama need advice
i disagree on this point...
I'm not saying to start trouble, but you were clearly lied to... and that is completely unacceptable. I think you should talk to your BM and tell her that she has one more chance to tell you what really happened...
the one thing in life that i cant stand is liars... especially liars who lie to get themselves out of trouble and to get other people into trouble, which is what this sounds like it is.
Don't kick her out of the BP or anything, but you need to lay the law down... you dont want anything getting out of hand at any of your parties. good luck.
ThePrincessButtercup
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Re: BM drama need advice
Posted by mdawg
i disagree on this point...
I'm not saying to start trouble, but you were clearly lied to... and that is completely unacceptable. I think you should talk to your BM and tell her that she has one more chance to tell you what really happened...
the one thing in life that i cant stand is liars... especially liars who lie to get themselves out of trouble and to get other people into trouble, which is what this sounds like it is.
Don't kick her out of the BP or anything, but you need to lay the law down... you dont want anything getting out of hand at any of your parties. good luck.
I wouldn't say that i was LIED to persay... but i only got one side of the story.
i'm sure the bridesmaid would think my MOH was lying if she only heard her side too... you know what i mean?
I can't stand liars either, I'm more upset about the way she treated someone so close to me than i am about only hearing her side.
Also.. I'm sure the truth actually lies somewhere in the middle of both of their stories.
jessicarabbit72
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Re: BM drama need advice
I was in a wedding recently and had the same sort of situation... I was a bridesmaid and my friend's MOH was a big b*tch! Not only that, but she pretty much didn't help us plan anything... anyway, I wanted sooo badly to talk to my friend (the bride) about it, but I didn't want to get her involved because I didn't want her to be stressed out or worried that we weren't getting along. I know that your situation is different because you already know about everything, but I think that if your MOH is fine with everything, maybe you should let it go for now that way you can avoid any drama that you can... they will have to suck it up and work together for your bach party and wedding, and I'm sure it will be fine. It was for us... we pretty much pretended to be friends and although it was weird everything went smoothly. After your wedding, though I think you should definitely tell your bridesmaid that you know about what happened and that it's unacceptable... but again that's your choice! Good luck with this, I'm sure this is the last thing that you want to be dealing with!
little34
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Re: BM drama need advice
I would talk to the bridesmaid and just say that what ever happened between the 2 of them to drop and just be mature and let it go. Tell her that both of them ar very important to you and you don't want either of them to be unhappy but most important you don't want to be unhappy with your shower, bachelorette, wedding....
If she can't let it go and makes you choose or causes more drama then you need to evaluate if she is worth the frustration.... this is your day and that should be important and if she can't let it go then she doesn't care about how it makes you feel.
Good luck
bemyyoko
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Re: BM drama need advice
Posted by jessicarabbit72
I was in a wedding recently and had the same sort of situation... I was a bridesmaid and my friend's MOH was a big b*tch! Not only that, but she pretty much didn't help us plan anything... anyway, I wanted sooo badly to talk to my friend (the bride) about it, but I didn't want to get her involved because I didn't want her to be stressed out or worried that we weren't getting along. I know that your situation is different because you already know about everything, but I think that if your MOH is fine with everything, maybe you should let it go for now that way you can avoid any drama that you can... they will have to suck it up and work together for your bach party and wedding, and I'm sure it will be fine. It was for us... we pretty much pretended to be friends and although it was weird everything went smoothly. After your wedding, though I think you should definitely tell your bridesmaid that you know about what happened and that it's unacceptable... but again that's your choice! Good luck with this, I'm sure this is the last thing that you want to be dealing with!
i have to agree... i've been in a similar situation. they'll get over it.
MayWeddingGrl
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Re: BM drama need advice
I would talk to both the MOH and the bridesmaid. You should let them know that they are both in your bridal party because they are both really important people in your life. I think they should be adults and suck it up. I think if they care about you as much as you care about them, thry should be able to settle their differences for your sake, during your bridal shower AND at your bachelorette party, why should your entire wedding experience be hindered or diminished because they can't be mature?!
AugustBridein09
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Re: BM drama need advice
I would talk to both of them just to make sure they are both okay with dropping it and having a good time at any further functions that need to occur. I would also say don't 'not have a bachelorette party' because of it......the two of them are grown ups and need to act like it for YOU. Other than that I'd say don't get involved too much.
PoppedInASnap
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Re: BM drama need advice
Stay out of it. Ive learned from past experiences that sometimes its best to let it be. Tell the one who may not be able to deal with the other that if she cant let it go and that it may effect the wedding, that THIS is not what you want to remember the months before the wedding, and that if it continues, and you KNOW about it... you may have to ask her OUT of the bridal party. Thats the honest truth...
THIS is not what you need...
ILOVEBRIAN2008
Posted:
Member since
Re: BM drama need advice
first some hugs for what u are dealing with!
second i would talk to your bridesmaid and even though u say she didnt lie..she didnt tell u how she treated your moh..i would talk to her and just say listen i heard what happened from the both of you and even tho (maybe) she had the right to fight with her about whatever it was, she shouldnt have treated her that way with no real reason..and say that u really dont want it to be akward or ruin any wedding things and ask her if she can be civil at all of your wedding events, and just pretend to like her/be nice/or just stay away from each other for the sake of u...i would also mention to her that u will speak to your moh about the same things...i believe that they both will understand and agree to be civil knowing how important it is for u...after that talk leave it be and hope for the best
