BM drama/vent

Ok, so this is sort of a rant, but not really - its more of a concern.

I have an OOT BM who never has money. She can never visit because she has no money, and when she does, I wind up paying for stuff. i don't mind though, because I just want to see her!

But today she tells me how she went shopping and blew $500. Now, its not my business what she spends her money on - I don't care Lord knows I LOVE to shop. But I'm nervous. I know the committment involved in being a BM, and I'll be really disappointed if she can't come to something wedding related (shower, bachelorette, fitting, etc.).

So I asked her point blank today. I asked if she would be able to be a BM and make the financial committment because I KNOW it costs a ton. She said yes and that I shouldn't worry about it.

But I KNOWWWWWW deep down that this is going to be an issue in the future.

Does anyone have this concern? Am I being ridiculous? In the past I would have offered to help pay for things for her (wedding related - help with dress, etc.), but with all of our wedding expenses, I know that its just not possible.

You are 100% right, you can't question her on what she spends her money on.

However. I will have 1 or maybe 2 OOT bridesmaids and I am an OOT bridesmaid in my cousin's wedding in April. They are going to do the Bachelorette Party the weekend before and I will fly in then to get my dress fitted and help her with everything the week before. She already knows I will not be able to make her shower, and we are both cool with that.

Now as far as mine goes. I know my OOT people may and probably won't be able to make my shower, and I am hoping to have my bachelorette party the weekend before so they can come, but if we can't do it then, I wouldn't expect them to be there. The only thing I will require of my OOT girls is to be at the rehearsal and the wedding. And the only reason I am anal about the rehearsal is b/c I am anal about people lining up.

So long story short. I wouldn't necessarily rain on the parade yet and send out the bad karma vibes. Just make sure that you know what you expect her to do, and make sure she knows. If it comes down that and she fulfills what you think may happen. Then you can say so and so, listen i still love you, but i explained all this and if you can't do it, i still want you at my wedding but understand. But I am also a firm give her a chance type of girl who gives everyone the benefit of the doubt evne when i shouldn't