BM help

mycrayon1 Posted: Oct 30, 2006 10:47 AM

BM help

Ok a little background- one of my BM has had a lot personal problems lately. Namely if iit could go wrong it has for her. I convince my mom to allow me to 'even' out my BP a little and add one of my friends back into the party (she was never formally asked to be in it) and she said yes.

Now the BM has had to drop out and while I wish she was able to stay in it, I totally understand why. Here's my question, should I ask my mom before asking another friend or should I just go ahead and do it and then ask for forgiviness?
And how do I ask the woman to be in my party when she knows that the dresses are all picked, etc?

heatherandrichie Posted: Oct 30, 2006 10:53 AM

Re: BM help

I had a similar situation this weekend. My MOH annouced she's preggo, due 1 wk. after my wedding So, I asked another GF to be a BM. I felt bad cause I didn't ask her in the beginning, but she was excited and didn't mind at all. Good luck

mrsh2b Posted: Oct 30, 2006 10:58 AM

Re: BM help

I'm confused....why does your mom have to approve your bridal party?

In any event, I would just explain to the woman you would like to invite that you wanted her in it all along but you felt it was too many people and you would feel honored if she would join now but if she's insulted, you understand. I don't think I would be offended if I knew I was like a last minute decision.

mycrayon1 Posted: Oct 30, 2006 11:14 AM

Re: BM help

I know it sounds silly that I have to 'Ask my mom first' but the BP has been an argument all along b/c of the size, we have 9 GM and 8 BM well 7 if you don't include the new BM. She also is, minus the limos, paying for the whole thing we are paying for the limos, FIL's haven't offered anything $$ wise to help my mom out.
So while its our wedding she kind of has final say in everything and makes sure that we both know it.

mrsh2b Posted: Oct 30, 2006 11:37 AM

Re: BM help

oh okay...I see...and I'm in the same boat with FIL's by the way. Anyway, there really isn't any additional cost to your parents if you ask the extra girl. Your mom was already okay with the other girl before, so whatever expense she had for that 1st BM she would have been anticipating so it would still apply to the new BM. The girl is going to be a guest at your wedding anyway, so what's the difference if you just tell her what to wear? If you really want the new BM in there, just do it! That's my opinion...good luck!

aprlflwr Posted: Oct 30, 2006 11:46 AM

Re: BM help

It's easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission. Go ahead, ask your friend!!!

SeptBride70 Posted: Oct 30, 2006 12:23 PM

Re: BM help

Posted by aprlflwr

It's easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission. Go ahead, ask your friend!!!

i agree!!!! good luck!!!

OrangeGrl Posted: Oct 30, 2006 12:30 PM

Re: BM help

Posted by STBMrsDaniRella

Posted by aprlflwr

It's easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission. Go ahead, ask your friend!!!

i agree!!!! good luck!!!

Me too!! Explain to her AFTER that you wanted her to be in the wedding before but that you wanted it to be even and now that your other friend dropped out you can have her in!

mycrayon1 Posted: Oct 30, 2006 02:04 PM

Re: BM help

Posted by MissMaster13

Posted by STBMrsDaniRella

Posted by aprlflwr

It's easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission. Go ahead, ask your friend!!!

i agree!!!! good luck!!!

Me too!! Explain to her AFTER that you wanted her to be in the wedding before but that you wanted it to be even and now that your other friend dropped out you can have her in!

Thats what I was thinking of doing!
Thank you for all of your help! I really appreciate it!!!

heatherandrichie Posted: Oct 30, 2006 02:06 PM

Re: BM help

Posted by MissMaster13

Posted by STBMrsDaniRella

Posted by aprlflwr

It's easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission. Go ahead, ask your friend!!!

i agree!!!! good luck!!!

Me too!! Explain to her AFTER that you wanted her to be in the wedding before but that you wanted it to be even and now that your other friend dropped out you can have her in!

Blame it on your mom, LOL. Tell your GF you wanted her in the whole time but your mom cut you off

mycrayon1 Posted: Oct 31, 2006 04:47 PM

Re: BM help

Posted by heatherandrichie

Posted by MissMaster13

Posted by STBMrsDaniRella

Posted by aprlflwr

It's easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission. Go ahead, ask your friend!!!

i agree!!!! good luck!!!

Me too!! Explain to her AFTER that you wanted her to be in the wedding before but that you wanted it to be even and now that your other friend dropped out you can have her in!

Blame it on your mom, LOL. Tell your GF you wanted her in the whole time but your mom cut you off

See that's what I wanna do but it's my mom that I'm worried about flipping out on me.

AMANDA2378 Posted: Oct 31, 2006 04:53 PM

Re: BM help

whether your mom is paying for it or not..............you should be able to have what you want (maybe with some restrictions) but come on...........whats one more flower arrangement gonna cost??? the bm pay for there own dress, etc.....

im not being mean........i just dont get why you cant choose your own bp??

good luck

maybe explain to your mom that you understand its gets pricey, but you would really like this person in it and it makes things more even. and if you can help out a little more with some of the money for the flowers or something you will??

just a suggestion