BM Help

depoc1011 Posted: Jun 17, 2009 05:39 PM

BM Help

So I have to say I didnt think i would have to write one of these posts....esp with thier being so much time until my wedding but....

please dont quote....im prob going to take it down...

So I asked one of my 'friends' to be in the BP a few months ago....she was so excited and all about it! Since school finished she has been acting so weird and off(we went from talking EVERY single day to almost no phone calls)....at one point i thought i did/said something to upset her...

when i confronted her, she said she has just been so incredibly busy and what not...so i thought okay, understandable...

she asked me if i had any updates and i said that i actually did, started showing her pics and she couldnt be bothered

so i see her and her man this weekend and it was all sorts of wrong, uncomfortableness and awkard...

she was a bit unfriendly and rude and kind of sat the entire night with a puss on her face...also made some comments about FH that i thought were really out there

her man is a whole other story that i am not involving myself with...

i dont know what to do...i feel like we are very different (in ways of course that are no big deal, and ways that upset me) and maybe i jumped the gun with asking her to be in bp...

any advice??

Thanks ladies!

xxoo

depoc1011 Posted: Jun 17, 2009 06:04 PM

Re: BM Help

anyone? thank you xxoo

grkbarbie Posted: Jun 17, 2009 06:06 PM

Re: BM Help

have u been extra friendly with her SINCE u asked her to be a BM?

is the wedding ALLL u talk about?

be honestt...

GR2010 Posted: Jun 17, 2009 06:09 PM

Re: BM Help

That's a tough one... I would wait it out and see what happens. Give it time. She could be jealous, she could be annoyed about all the wedding talk, she could just be going through a rough time. Maybe invite her out one night and make an effort to make NO wedding talk. See how she is.

Soon2B Mrs Pierce Posted: Jun 17, 2009 06:10 PM

Re: BM Help

I actually am experiencing the same problem! Umm...I'm just not saying anything at this point but in my sistuation she is suppose to be a MOH. So I think I'm just going to fall back and not stress. I mean I dont want to FORCE anyone to be in my wedding u know I want everyone to be happy. Which EVERYONE ELSE is except for her.

I'ma practice what I preach and just fall back and find a backup!

HTH

depoc1011 Posted: Jun 17, 2009 06:10 PM

Re: BM Help

Posted by grkbarbie

have u been extra friendly with her SINCE u asked her to be a BM?

is the wedding ALLL u talk about?

be honestt...

honestly, i dont know if my 'friendly-ness' level has changed, i think im the same...the only time i talk about the wedding is when she asks and i really try to be conscious about that (esp with the situation with her man)....

i def talk about wedding stuff alot more with two of the other chica's in the bp bec they are much more into it...one just got married and the other one is geting married next may...so i can honestly say that with them it would be a yes! and with her it would be a no.....

SummerBride10 Posted: Jun 17, 2009 06:11 PM

Re: BM Help

I would give it a little time...you still have time before your wedding. Wait and see how the summer goes then talk to her about it.

grkbarbie Posted: Jun 17, 2009 06:14 PM

Re: BM Help

maybe she was just pmmssing.. girls r effin strange mannnn

Relish21 Posted: Jun 17, 2009 06:14 PM

Re: BM Help

Yea your wedding is a ways away. You prolly need to see what happens with your relationship before making a decision on what to do. I wouldn't stress about it... but still make an effort to hang out see what happens.

depoc1011 Posted: Jun 17, 2009 06:23 PM

Re: BM Help

thanks ladies xxoo

FallBride2010 Posted: Jun 17, 2009 06:44 PM

Re: BM Help

Since the wedding is more than a year away, I would just ignore it for now and see how things progress. Have you looked for BM dresses yet? That will probably be the true test...if she comes..or even seems remotely interested

cavvento Posted: Jun 17, 2009 07:11 PM

Re: BM Help

Was her man in her life before you got engaged? Maybe you can try setting up a girls day with her (nothing wedding related), grab brunch or something, and see if she'll open up. Maybe there's something bothering her in her life and she doesn't have the chance to spit it out if there's the men there. Sorry to hear about that. I feel like weddings sometimes just bring on drama for no apparent reason.

depoc1011 Posted: Jun 17, 2009 07:13 PM

Re: BM Help

Posted by cavvento

Was her man in her life before you got engaged? Maybe you can try setting up a girls day with her (nothing wedding related), grab brunch or something, and see if she'll open up. Maybe there's something bothering her in her life and she doesn't have the chance to spit it out if there's the men there. Sorry to hear about that. I feel like weddings sometimes just bring on drama for no apparent reason.

yes...hes been there for 8 almost 9 years...no ring...which is why i never bring up wedding stuff unless she asks...bec i know that it is a touchy touchy touchy subject....

however i think your idea is great! I will try to reach out!

depoc1011 Posted: Jun 17, 2009 07:14 PM

Re: BM Help

Posted by FallBride2010

Since the wedding is more than a year away, I would just ignore it for now and see how things progress. Have you looked for BM dresses yet? That will probably be the true test...if she comes..or even seems remotely interested

we havent gone shopping for it...but when i asked her if she liked the color and showed her some dress styles online, when she asked....she really couldnt be intrested...

FutureMrsSoltan Posted: Jun 17, 2009 07:23 PM

Re: BM Help

Sometimes girls just get jealous when someone is getting married. I would meet up with her and ask her what is going on. You dont want someone in your wedding you is going to be moody all the time.

Spring143 Posted: Jun 17, 2009 07:30 PM

Re: BM Help

I would think its because she's not engaged and you are. As soon as I got engaged people disappeared. As soon as they got engaged they wanted to be my friend again.
Thank goodness my fh didn't put me in a situation where my friends were getting engaged and we weren't. It would def suck. It def makes her question her relationship.
Hope it gets better :)

M_Berk-Glenn Posted: Jun 17, 2009 08:13 PM

Re: BM Help

Its sad but its usually them being jealous. I have friends who are and arent in relationships and they are happy for me n then there are those who were happy at first and now they dont want to hang out or talk (n i hardly discuss my wedding). Sometimes ppl arent happy when you make major changes esp when they havent progressed

deanna225 Posted: Jun 17, 2009 08:20 PM

Re: BM Help

i would give it time like the other girls said. u do have time and just take it day by day.hope things work out for u

Jna2010 Posted: Jun 17, 2009 08:37 PM

Re: BM Help

i would maybe just talk to her about it.... i had the same situation and it was serriously bothering me, how could i be friends with these girls for almost 15 years and they dont even ask how anything is going if they could help with anything, nothing! so i just let it all out bc i was really frustrated and depressed after going everywhere bymyself since everytime i invited anyone no one was able to come... ever!! lol okkkaayyyy mini vent over hhaahaa

but i would just talk to her about it, could be that maybe she changed her mind for some wierd reason? or maybe shes mad at you about something and shes just taking it out on you? you never know...

JAAMS Posted: Jun 17, 2009 09:52 PM

Re: BM Help

I agree with the girls who said to give it a little bit more time. See how it goes and reevaluate when the summer is over. Make efforts to hang out with her and try and rekindle the strong friendship!