Well FSIL is complaining about the cost - $200 for the dress plus alterations and getting favors for the shower. That is all I am asking of my bridesmaids. I am not asking them to get hair or makeup done or to wear specific shoes. I am paying $100 of the dress since it is originally $300 and I know that is a lot. My mom is also paying for all of my shower except favors. The thing is - she just got married and I had to buy her dress for $125, alter it for $50, and pay $100 for her shower. Plus she asked us to get our hair done and we needed silver shoes. So how can she be upset with me? What do I tell her?
leshellem
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Re: BM Issue - Please help!
Personally, I would ask her if $50 would help and give her the money. I know you are upset and feel that since you spent a lot of money for her wedding she should do the same. I don't know her situation, but she may not truly have the money. Yes it *****, but you honestly don't want this to be blown out of proportion.
EastEndBride
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Re: BM Issue - Please help!
i have one chronic complainer BM. Finally I just said if the costs involved in being a part of my wedding are too much, than you can bow out & just come as a guest. I told her how much I want her to share my day, but that also I don't want to cause a strain on her. I honestly don't feel right about helping her out more than I help my others girls- just because she complains the most. She decided to stay in after all, but this way I put it back on her to really make the decision & to point out that I was hearing all her complaining loud & clear too! try talking to FSIL & iron things out a bit.
HollyMac
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Re: BM Issue - Please help!
Your dress is only $75 more than the one for her wedding plus, you had to pay for hair and make up which, I'm sure was more than $75 dollars.
I think it all evens out in the end. If she is becoming a pain about I would tell her that she has to realize that one of the responsibilities of the bridesmaid is to help the bride and not create more problems.
To be fair ask her what can't she afford and also tell her that she didn't have to pay for the shoes, hair or make-up so what is the problem.
If she insists ask her if she even wants to be a bridesmaid. You of my bridesamaid acted like this and I had a long talk with her and it turns out she was a little jealous but we worked though it. Money is the easierissue to complain as a bridesmaid about- especially if the true reason is envy.
JayLi2007
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Re: BM Issue - Please help!
Thank you guys! Everything you said is true - I do think she might be a bit envious. My mom thinks if I give her an out she will tell everyone that I kicked her out. So I think FH is going to ask her if she wants out, this way she can't blame it on me (although I am sure she will find a way!) Thanks everyone!
