All of the girls in my BP have been great so far, but I'm having an issue with one of them. One of my best friends was invited to another wedding the night before mine and she plans on going, which I have a problem with. My RD was supposed to be that night and the BP and I had plans to stay at a hotel that night so we could all get ready together the next day. I'm really pissed that she would even consider missing these things with me, but I'm not sure if I should bother to say anything. I'm a very honest person and always tell people things the way I see them, but I don't think I should have to remind her where her priorities should be. She has committed to being part of my BP and I think her place is with me, but if she sees it differently, than maybe we're not as close as I thought we were. I hate even thinking like that, but I don't know what else to think. How would you girls handle this?
steph4777
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Re: BM problem
This is a tough one. Is the other wedding for someone who is close to her? If so, you should not make her choose. It sucks that she may not be able to come to the RD or be with you the night before but it's not the end of the world. Can you have the RD one day earlier? Maybe she can just come to the hotel after she leaves the other wedding.
Now if this person is a co-worker or not really a close friend, then maybe I would be upset and think she should not go.
september2004
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Posted by nferrandi She has committed to being part of my BP and I think her place is with me, but if she sees it differently, than maybe we're not as close as I thought we were. I hate even thinking like that, but I don't know what else to think. How would you girls handle this?
you said it yourself, actions speak louder than words...
i would just express to her how much it would mean to you to have her involved with certain things, but you understand that she has other things going on as well. after you tell her how you feel, then it is up to her to respond with action. maybe you are not a close as you thought, or maybe she doesn't know how much you having her there means to you...
i recently found out that my 'friend' wasn't who i thought he was, and it hurt beyond belief. hopefully this is NOT the case with you...
nferrandi
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She went to dental hygiene school with this girl and they're still friendly, but no comparison to the friendship she and I are supposed to have. I don't see why I should have to rearrange my RD to accomodate some girls wedding that I don't even know. It's very doubtful that she would come to the hotel after because I know her, and she'll be too drunk to drive from Westchester out to LI. And on that subject, I'm also concerned she's going to be really hungover for my wedding, and call me selfish, but that's just not cool.
Lorena
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I don't blame you for being upset. I would understand though if the person whose wedding she is going to is a close family member or another close friend. In that case, I wouldn't want to make her choose. Otherwise I would feel like she wasn't as good a friend as I thought she was.
Lorena
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She may not even realize it is upsetting you.
steph4777
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Posted by nferrandi
She went to dental hygiene school with this girl and they're still friendly, but no comparison to the friendship she and I are supposed to have. I don't see why I should have to rearrange my RD to accomodate some girls wedding that I don't even know. It's very doubtful that she would come to the hotel after because I know her, and she'll be too drunk to drive from Westchester out to LI. And on that subject, I'm also concerned she's going to be really hungover for my wedding, and call me selfish, but that's just not cool.
Since it's not a relative or very close friend, I would definitely tell her how you feel. Hopefully she will change her mind about going to the other wedding when she see's how disappointed you'll be.
sophie78
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I would not say anything. She obviously feels strongly about attending the wedding, so why guilt her into coming to your RD?
2UNTAMED
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Did you ask her to be in your BP before she recived the invitation to the other wedding? If you did, I would definalty explain you have your plans already and would expect he to be part of the RD. It would be different, if she couldn't attend the girls night out. I would explain that once she choose to be part of the bp she was commited to your plans, and would prefer and appriciate if she would be part of the events.
lilmrs
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Re: BM problem
Question:
Is your BM already married? I am just wondering if the girl who is getting married went to your BM's wedding and now your BM feels she HAS to go to this other one. Maybe?
