BM problem need advice--I am MAD!!!

Brief history...
My hs friend and I have grown apart. When I went to college things started changing. She is married and has a baby and has since gotten new friends from her husband. The catch is that her husband is my FH's friend too. As a matter of fact, all their friends know us. However, when BM and her husband hang out w/ the others we are never invited. Fine by me since I don't really care to hang out with them anyway. No big deal. Since I have been engaged she has NEVER asked about the wedding plans, the eparty plans. Nothing. I had asked her to contact one of these friends for the videographer she used b/c she got this amazing deal... 3 times I asked her and she never called me to tell me who it was so I went on my own.

And when I finally approached her on the fact we have grown apart, she says well it started when you went to college. That was 4 yrs ago!!! Obviously it didn't bother her then!! We were supposed to talk about this situation (us growing apart) b/c I was furious as FH was when a bunch of people went out for her husband's birthday and they never called us to tell us the plans. I was called by her 2 weeks prior and never heard since. The WORST part of that story is that THEY saw us going into FH's house and didn't say one word to us. As if they didn't even know who we were! I e-mailed her and we set up a day to meet at her place to discuss everything. I get there and one of her friend's is there! She stayed there for so long we ended up going out with the men and we never got to talk.

I sent some of my friends the std magnet sample I received, she included, and she sends me junk mail!!! I am really at ends with her. Its to the point I don't want her in the BP anymore. Yet she sends me junk mail all the time but no e-mail to say Hi Wanda how are you and FH? I have sent her e-mails asking her how things are going on with her family. Her story is always, I am so busy at work and her social life is busy too... US not included in that.
FH says to tell her that we need to talk again. WHY should I? I tried once and instead of her telling her friend, Wanda is coming by and we need to talk, she lets her stay there for over 2 hours!

Sorry for the long vent... I feel inside I should take her out of the BP. Problem is that FH also has asked her husband. So I am stuck either way! UGH!!! And if I want her out, how do I tell her? I think e-mail is enough since we don't see or speak to each other much. I am the one always doing the contacting and making the effort.