BM question

Ok, so my MOH got engaged last week. She just booked fox hollow for 11/07. yay!

We have VERY different styles. I don't think she'd ever joing LIW, and she isn't into taking a lot of time to plan (obviously - she booked a hall within a week of being engaged!). But I'm really into making a big deal about these things - showers, BP, making cute stuff for bridesmaids, etc.

I want to do all that stuff....I know she isn't going to do it for her BMs. But, I don't want to make her feel bad when I put together a basket of stuff and she gets one. I think she'll feel like 'Oh, am I supposed to do that stuff?' You know what I mean? We're going to be doing a lot of planning together, and I don't want it to have a competition feel. But I don't want to compromise what I want to do.

Like I said, I know that we are very different when it comes to planning stuff, but I just don't want to make her feel bad when I make a huge deal out of my wedding. I'm also nervous about BM dresses and stuff. I don't think she cares what everyone wears for her wedding, and me, I already have a certain dress picked out - and it will probably be more expensive than the one she picks out. I don't want her to resent me.

Am I making a big deal out of nothing?

Not at all. I kind of had the same thing with my cousin (Mrs. Jones... ). She was away at grad school for a lot of the planning so she was very disconnected with everything. She didn't make big waves about asking her BP to be included, didn't do a lot of e-mailing to keep people in the loop. That was just her... so when I got engaged and planned to make big waves, I had a gut check for a second about how she would feel or how she would think my actions would make her look.
After I did the whole BM thing with the book and the card, she laughed about how different I went about everything.
Bonnie, basically... do what you want and how you want. If your MOH does things differently than you shouldn't feel bad.

ETA: Also, if you hold back because you might make your MOH feel bad, you're going to regret all of the things that you wanted to do, but didn't.

I love you girls!!!

I totally agree with Kim. Do what you want or you'll regret it.

No matter where you go, what you do, there will always be competition between women. Don't stress yourself out over it Bon....

Honestly my MOH is geting married in '07 and I kinda find it cool that she's showing me the ropes...I wouldn't know about half of this crappola if it wasn't for her including this site. As for the competition, there really isn't any. We both have totally diff things that we want but its still nice because we can bounce things off of ea. other. I don't know her but JMO I don't think it'll really be a problem

The only thing that might be a factor is if she dosen't want to get that involved with a huge wedding because of $$$. That might cause an issue if she feels your flashing things in her face. Other than that its YOUR WEDDING DAY!!!! Do whatever you want!!!! If she can't be happy for you and share in your joy than she's a crappy MOH...jk, but not really

JMHO

Thanks guys. I needed the reality check.

I'm going out blazing.