BM VENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've been trying not to let the drama get to me and some of my bridal party has been great, with offers of help and an ear to listen, however one particular BM....a 'friend' of 15 years is NOWHERE to be found...when she got married in '07 MOH and I went out of our way to be there for her, go dress shopping, go above and beyond for her shower, took her out for her bachelorette as she only had a MOH who did nothing for her, and as soon as the wedding was over, she moved, to IOWA and the only time she would call us is when she was homesick and we didn't mind we'd take 2 HOURS to talk to her, now I haven't heard from her since JANUARY...when I called HER.....and when she answered the phone she said....we'll I guess I have a few minutes for you....honey, don't do me any favors....she didn't come to the engagement party, didn't come to the bridesmaid luncheon I hosted for the girls, isn't coming to my shower, didn't pitch in for the gift that EVERYONE else managed to put in for, isn't coming to the bachelorette or even the rehearsal.....it's like whats the point of being in the wedding?!?!?!?!?!? l feel like calling her and telling her not to bother....when I asked her about the rehearsal (which is on thursday) she said we're not coming until at least friday night, well if that's the case and your plane (the live upstate in rochester) is delayed and you don't get here in time, i feel like don't even come to the wedding, am I overreacting? I just feel like I've done so much to make things easy on them, I've tried to organize fun things to get everyone together so they can meet and be comfortable and all I get is resistance, and especially with this person, you can't come to ONE thing, I mean I'm understanding, but my other BM who also lives upstate manages to come for EVERYTHING!!!!!! and has been there to help with anything I've needed....do I really cut the friendship if she doesn't come through? I just dunno what to do anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: BM VENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nothing??

Re: BM VENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish I had advice for you hunny...youre right. It sounds like she isnt being a good friend. Maybe ask her whats going on? tell her you are getting the feeling she deosnt want to be involved? give her an out? I dont know hun..hang in there though!

Re: BM VENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry your friend is not being as supportive as you would like. It seems that this has been a pattern with her, at least since the time that she got married. Have you ever discussed this with her?

Unfortunately, at this point, I don't think there's much that you can do. I would imagine that she's already purchased the dress, etc.

Before you give up on your friendship, I'd try to have a heart to heart with her. She may be so caught up in her own life, that she doesn't realize that she's been dropping the ball. For you to have remained friends with her for this long, she must have some redeeming qualities.

Just remember, that whatever she does or doesn't do, those who truly love and support you will be there for you on the best day of your life.

Re: BM VENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I agree with meg here. You have a complete right to be upset, I would def be mad. I think you should talk to her and just be honest with her. Listen to her and her side of things. She could have no idea you are feeling this way or that you expected these things of her.

I am dealing with a similar situation and I just had to tell myself that not everyone thinks about the wedding as much as I do and let it go.
Im sorry I couldnt be more help!
Feel better!

Re: BM VENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jenna im so sorry..it really stinks that people can sometimes love it and have no problem accepting nice things being done for them and forget to do it back when its their turn...u deserve so much more from this chick...the best thinkg u can do as hard as it is is to just forget her n what shes doing..its just going to give u more stress that u dont need..i know u want her there n u def have a right to be peeved but if she dont care dont give her the satisfaction of knowing shes upsetting u

Re: BM VENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am in the same boat.. but my friend isnt a BM...

basically you have to decide.. drop friend now or later?

in this situation, i would say later simply because, i am assuming she purchased the dress...if she didn't get the dress.. then kick her out asap.. that's probably what she wants anyway!!

good luck!

Re: BM VENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She did infact get the dress but that's all she did, I could care less whether or not she comes at this point, I'm just so upset over this, it's making me physically ill!