so as some of you remember, a bunch of bmaids dropped out b/c of the 'snow' last sat meanwhile there was nary an inch on the ground.
we picked out a dress, with a quantity discount it was 15% off (so the dress would be $276), and if everyone ordered by Feb 25th we get a trunk show discount, so an extra 5% off (so the dress would be $260).
The six girls who didn't come have to fill out the order form w/ their measurements & credit card info and fax/email it back to the store by Feb 25th. I received this form on MONDAY and emailed it out to them.
Today, I get a frantic email from one of my bmaids (who came on Sat) asking me if everyone ordered their dress yet b/c money is SO tight and she can't really afford the extra $15, especially since she has to pay for alterations on top of the cost of the dress.
I felt like she was trying to make me feel guilty that it's kind of expensive, and in turn, pressure everyone to get their orders in ASAP so that SHE would feel better and I'm kind of like flabbergasted by this. They have 2 weeks from today to get it ordered AND I just received the stuff on Monday!
I w/b and offered to pay for her alterations b/c I felt bad but now I'm mad!!!
what do i do?
AdriandSteve
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Re: bmaid dramaaaaaaaaaaaa (long)
If you offered to pay for alterations then you gotta stick to that. Personally, 260 is A LOT for a bm dress before alterations (which pushes it over $300). Did they know the price before you told them about the ordering info?
halfbaked
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Re: bmaid dramaaaaaaaaaaaa (long)
I'd light a fire under the other girl's behinds, and if they still don't get them in on time, I'd offer to pay the difference to the one girl. She shouldn't be penalized for their inability to stick to a deadline.
ETA: And I definitely wouldn't be mad at her, I don't think she really did anything wrong. It actually benefits you that she wants to make sure they can take advantage of this pricing.
FallBride2010
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Re: bmaid dramaaaaaaaaaaaa (long)
I think it's a bit crazy to make a big deal over $15. However, the price is a bit high for a bm dress. Are they all financially established? Or is money really tight where the $15 would make a huge difference to her.
AngnShaun
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Re: bmaid dramaaaaaaaaaaaa (long)
$260 is a lot of money... did they pick the dress out themselves?
halfbaked
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Re: bmaid dramaaaaaaaaaaaa (long)
Posted by FallBride2010
I think it's a bit crazy to make a big deal over $15. However, the price is a bit high for a bm dress. Are they all financially established? Or is money really tight where the $15 would make a huge difference to her.
I'm financially established, but right now, $15 can make or break me. That's the difference between eating lunch or not for two or three days.
Becca2010
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Re: bmaid dramaaaaaaaaaaaa (long)
The store needs the full cost of the dress right away? Usually they only need a deposit. Is it because of the trunk show discount that they need to pay in full?
She can't afford an extra $15? That seems odd. If anything, tell her you'll split the alternations with her because you spoke to soon and you're strapped for $$ because you're paying for a WEDDING.
ETA: Yes, $260 is a lot, but I've paid over $300 for a dress before. It's easier when you pay it out IF you can.
JayBee216
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Re: bmaid dramaaaaaaaaaaaa (long)
The orig dress I wanted was like $300 and I OK'ed it with them beforehand and they were all fine with it.
And now it's less than they thought!
She w/b and said 'thanks for offering but you don't have to pay for my alterations.' So I guess that's taken care of!
kris_gets_hitched
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Re: bmaid dramaaaaaaaaaaaa (long)
Posted by jilliibabii
I'd light a fire under the other girl's behinds, and if they still don't get them in on time, I'd offer to pay the difference to the one girl. She shouldn't be penalized for their inability to stick to a deadline.
ETA: And I definitely wouldn't be mad at her, I don't think she really did anything wrong. It actually benefits you that she wants to make sure they can take advantage of this pricing.
Agreed. Two weeks is a lot of time for people to get measured.
She went with you, so I'm assuming she knew the price of the dress when you guys went shopping, right? It is a bit steep for BM dresses, though not unheard of.
Chelechel1
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Re: bmaid dramaaaaaaaaaaaa (long)
DON'T LET ANYONE CONTROL YOUR CHOICES FOR YOUR WEDDING BY MAKING YOU FEEL GUILTY! Can you tell I had some BM drama myself?
BTW I was going to pay for half of my MOH's dress as part of her BM gift (she didn't know that) because she made me feel bad about the dress price. I was also going to pay for her daughter's FG dress and accessories. She's not in my wedding anymore though so now I can spend my $ on the BMs who actually know proper wedding etiquette.
flibbertigibbet
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Re: bmaid dramaaaaaaaaaaaa (long)
i can see both sides. on one hand i'm like '*** is $15 get a credit card if you cant buy lunch, homie'
but its also like ... maybe that really is her last $15 and she IS doing you a favor by doing stuff for your wedding.
so, ehh... encourage the girls to get their stuff in ASAP if only because it will save everyone money. dont harass. just send a reminder like today. and maybe a week from now. end of story.
what DID cross my mind is...
did you tell this girl not to tell the others that you offered to pay for her alterations?
because you did, you can't take it back now. you better pay for them lol. but what if she tells the other girls.... that's sort of not cool if you pay for one and not the rest. i'd tell her to put a lid on it if i were you.
regy_k
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Re: bmaid dramaaaaaaaaaaaa (long)
I dont see a reason to be upset with her I wouldve and did ask the same question, dont see anything wrong with that
soontobecruz
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Re: bmaid dramaaaaaaaaaaaa (long)
Getting all the girls to agree on a dress and get them ordered in a short time is very difficult.
I can see your friends point though. 2 weeks notice on a dress which is $260 is tough. Personally I think that is a lot on a dress. A friend of mine foudna dres she loved for $270 and got it to $190 at the wedding center in Commack. You might want to consider calling around and trying to get it cheaper.
$260 plus tax and alterations is a lot for a dress they more than likely will only wear once. This is JMHO....
allornil
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Re: bmaid dramaaaaaaaaaaaa (long)
I;m going to disagree with most people here because I know that sometimes money is tight and you just can't come up with it no matter how much you want to.
It's embarrassing when you have ti admit it.
It's nice to be asked to be in a wedding party but sometimes you just groan and think, 'ugh how am I going to afford this?'
I say cut them a little slack. That's not cheap for a BM's dress really. Offering to pay for the alterations was nice though.
Remember its your wedding not theirs. Whats important to you, inst as important to someone not getting married.
If it were me I'd help pay for the dresses for the people who couldn't afford it if you absolutely want them to wear those dresses.
JayBee216
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Re: bmaid dramaaaaaaaaaaaa (long)
Posted by soontobecruz
Getting all the girls to agree on a dress and get them ordered in a short time is very difficult.
I can see your friends point though. 2 weeks notice on a dress which is $260 is tough. Personally I think that is a lot on a dress. A friend of mine foudna dres she loved for $270 and got it to $190 at the wedding center in Commack. You might want to consider calling around and trying to get it cheaper.
$260 plus tax and alterations is a lot for a dress they more than likely will only wear once. This is JMHO....
I agree it is on the pricey side, but I checked with everyone before so that's not really the issue. I am actually going to go to NJ to pick them up so that they don't have to pay sales tax.
I did offer to pay for her alterations, but she said it's OK. I just thought it was a little annoying for her to email me so quickly and sort of throw me a guilt trip for $15, but I guess money is money!
I will make sure everyone orders by the deadline!
halfbaked
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Re: bmaid dramaaaaaaaaaaaa (long)
Posted by weddingbees
i can see both sides. on one hand i'm like '*** is $15 get a credit card if you cant buy lunch, homie'
WOW!
rdubs
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Re: bmaid dramaaaaaaaaaaaa (long)
I think you are fine and I wouldn't worry about a thing.
As you know, I'm the MOH in a wedding and we are getting Amsale dresses---they are beautiful but are costing us each $340 AFTER trunk show prices. Whatever, we can all deal b/c we love the bride and love the dresses.
You are fine---I think your BM just got overwhelmed at the price when she wrote you. I understand her wanting to get the cheapest possible price on the dress but in the end, I don't think she is going to be upset paying add'l $15.
My MOH started a google spreadsheet and we all logged in the styles we wanted and when we had called our orders in so that she could keep track of us without sending us e-mails everyday. We only had 1 week with trunk show prices and everyone got their A@@es in gear to get $$ off.
Rachel And Pat
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Re: bmaid dramaaaaaaaaaaaa (long)
From my experience that's a normal price for bridesmaid dresses. My bridesmaid dresses were $280 with tax and alterations. I would try to push the girls so the dresses could get ordered in time. My girls all went within 2 weeks and the place was in Staten Island which was really inconvenient considering we don't live there. Good Luck!
Antigua8910
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Re: bmaid dramaaaaaaaaaaaa (long)
I think its a lot of money to spend on a bm dress but she has apparently already agreed to a larger price. I would send out an email again to all bm's and let them know that some 'people' have inquired about whether or not they were all going to pay before the 25th to get the deal. I'm sure there are alot more people in her position but are too embarassed to say anything. And----Even if they are not, it still saves them $15. its not like you are going to change the dress, they have to buy it eventutally.
Windy
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Re: bmaid dramaaaaaaaaaaaa (long)
My BM dresses cost about the same so don't feel bad. I've been going through similar situations with my girls. I have eight bridesmaids and four junior bridesmaids and its been tough to get them all to get fitted. As of now I'm still waiting on two bridesmaids (both my sisters!) and I am going to take the junior bridesmaids myself next week.
Maybe I think a little different from most but I know I would never complain about $15.
