BOK TOSS /GARTAR

I'm doing it even though it's a little cheesy

I read an article about this in a bridal magazine that really gave a lot of insight into this.

Here's what you need to consider:

If the bulk of your friends are either a) in their early-mid 20's and/or b )you can count your single girls and guys each on more than 2 hands, then do it.

If you're friends are in their late 20's or up, don't do it. Most 'singles' don't want to be 'singled out' past a certain age.

Trust me, I met DH when I was 28, and we went to a wedding together and you couldn't have paid me to go up to catch the bouquet.

There is a major stigma that comes along with being single and not married past a certain age. I lived it.

HTH!

ETA: We obviously didn't do this at our wedding, and we were glad we didn't miss out on any valuable dance floor time. And nobody missed it at all.

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Posted by MirabellaNYC

I read an article about this in a bridal magazine that really gave a lot of insight into this.

Here's what you need to consider:

If the bulk of your friends are either a) in their early-mid 20's and/or b )you can count your single girls and guys each on more than 2 hands, then do it.

If you're friends are in their late 20's or up, don't do it. Most 'singles' don't want to be 'singled out' past a certain age.

Trust me, I met DH when I was 28, and we went to a wedding together and you couldn't have paid me to go up to catch the bouquet.

There is a major stigma that comes along with being single and not married past a certain age. I lived it.

HTH!

ETA: We obviously didn't do this at our wedding, and we were glad we didn't miss out on any valuable dance floor time. And nobody missed it at all.

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thanks ! that really helps---i dont wanna make anyone feel bad for being single

Well we did things a little differently - I only had about 2 single females (under the age of 50) at our wedding & maybe 2 or 3 single guys...we didnt do BOK toss (although this was something I had always dreamed about doing when I got married - when you're 38 getting married for the 1st time - chances are not too many singles will be at your wedding)

But I did want DH to do garter removal - & he made the cutest thing out of it - first removing from under my chair (which I had no idea) - a pair of sexy underwear (OMG) - but then went on to take out a tablecloth, flowers, candle, lighter, champagne glasses, champagne & then FINALLY my garter - once it was all done it was a little candle lit tray table w/flowers & champagne & he toasted me.

From there we had an Anniversary Dance - we gave the toss BOK & put my toss garter around another bottle of champagne & gave it to couple who was married the longest. - it ended up going to DH's parents - married 53 years. I was hoping our former priest was going to be able to get up & dance w/his wife but they are both in their 80's now - but they would have won - being married 58 years!

I did it and we had a total blast with it!!!

If you scroll down you'll see a video of DH doing his little slide for my garter lol

Garter removal

I think its fun, makes for good pictures and is a cute and old tradition that should be lived on. But that depends, do you have singles. I happened to have a lot of singles and a LOT of girls anxious to get engaged. We also had a TON of funny guys that would make the garter toss more fun. Although Jay's older single cousin caught it, so most of the guys were to young for her and didn't go for the garter. But it was still fun.

If you don't do it you don't get pictures like this:

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Posted by MirabellaNYC

I read an article about this in a bridal magazine that really gave a lot of insight into this.

Here's what you need to consider:

If the bulk of your friends are either a) in their early-mid 20's and/or b )you can count your single girls and guys each on more than 2 hands, then do it.

If you're friends are in their late 20's or up, don't do it. Most 'singles' don't want to be 'singled out' past a certain age.

Trust me, I met DH when I was 28, and we went to a wedding together and you couldn't have paid me to go up to catch the bouquet.

There is a major stigma that comes along with being single and not married past a certain age. I lived it.

HTH!

ETA: We obviously didn't do this at our wedding, and we were glad we didn't miss out on any valuable dance floor time. And nobody missed it at all.

---

I would have to disagree with the late 20s thing completely. Single girls at my wedding ranged from 22 through 35 and were fighting over the bouquet. From the pictures I could see that the girls from 28-35 were front and center fighting over it. The younger girls were hiding in the back. The girl who caught it was the oldest 35. I think it depends on the situation. But I actually found when i went to weddings in my early 20s the bouquets usually hit the floor and girls had to be dragged out on the floor to participate. I remember hiding from bouquet tosses at 22, 23, 25... we didn't want to get married then. In your late 20s/ early 30s you do, so you want to catch it.

I did not do this at my wedding only because DH and I did not want to keep stopping the party and the band......it's your wedding so you should do whatever you want to do

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Posted by MirabellaNYC

I read an article about this in a bridal magazine that really gave a lot of insight into this.

Here's what you need to consider:

If the bulk of your friends are either a) in their early-mid 20's and/or b )you can count your single girls and guys each on more than 2 hands, then do it.

If you're friends are in their late 20's or up, don't do it. Most 'singles' don't want to be 'singled out' past a certain age.

Trust me, I met DH when I was 28, and we went to a wedding together and you couldn't have paid me to go up to catch the bouquet.

There is a major stigma that comes along with being single and not married past a certain age. I lived it.

HTH!

ETA: We obviously didn't do this at our wedding, and we were glad we didn't miss out on any valuable dance floor time. And nobody missed it at all.

---

I totally agree with this. I think I stopped going up there right about age 26. I didn't meet FH until I was 38 so I had a lot of single years at weddings. Also, the feminist in me completely disagrees with this practice and actually is slightly offended by the idea (maybe Marlo Thomas and Gloria Steinam had too much of an influence in my younger years).

We are obviously not doing either one, but if you think the majority of your guests will enjoy it, go for it.

i dont think its cheesy, but im not doing it because i dont want to stop the party for it... im not ordering a toss bok and not wearing the toss garter...

i think its more of a personal preference than whether its cheesy or not

I went back and forth on it, but am really glad we did it.

My crazy stepsister drop-kicked everyone for the bouquet and DH's cousin used his football moves (he's a college player) to catch the garter. We could not have gotten one of my favorite pictures if it weren't for the whole thing...

Check out DH's nephew's face (our 4 y/o RB) as he looks on trying to figure out what the heck the adults are doing...