BOOKING THE CHURCH??!!

holly231 Posted: Jan 22, 2004 03:51 PM

BOOKING THE CHURCH??!!

I GUESS I AM A LITTLE LATE IN DOING SO, BUT I AM TRYING TO BOOK A CHURCH..MY CHURCH I HAD MY CHRISTENING, FIRST COMMUNION AND CONFIRMATION IN, A CATHOLIC CHURCH...

I LIVE IN RI AND I CALLED THE CHURCH...PLAYED PHONE TAG A FEW DAYS AND FINALLY GOT A CALL BACK FROM THE PRIEST JUST NOW...I NEEDED TO KNOW IF THE DATE WAS EVEN AVAILABLE....AND IF IT WAS POSSIBLE/OK TO HAVE AN INTERFAITH CEREMONY THERE...HE CANNOT CONFIRM ANYTHING AND SAID WE WILL DISCUSS THE DATE WHEN FH AND I MEET WITH HIM....WELL, THE DATE IS SET...CANNOT BE FURTHER DISCUSSED....I JUST WANTED TO REALLY MAKE SURE IT WAS AVAIALBLE AS FH WOULD AHVE TO TAKE OFF OF WORK AND WE WOULD AHVE TO PAY FOR A ROUND TRIP FERRY TO COME OUT TO EVEN MEET WITH HIM....

STILL..COULD NOT CONFIRM THE DATE, OR EVEN CHECK IT OUT....

I AM SO AGGRAVATED...ARE ALL CHURCHES LIKE THIS IN THAT THEY WILL NOT GIVE ANY INFO OVER THE PHONE, OR IS IT JUST CATHOLIC CHURCHES OR IS IT JUST MY CHURCH?? PLEASE HELP WITH ANY IDEAS YOU MAY HAVE....

THANKS A BUNCH!

Kelly9904 Posted: Jan 22, 2004 04:08 PM

Re: BOOKING THE CHURCH??!!

Ours was like this! They didnt even mention dates until we met with them!

dino1109 Posted: Jan 22, 2004 04:10 PM

Re: BOOKING THE CHURCH??!!

Im really not sure- I had to go to my church to sit with the priest however I didnt push Needing to know b/c I dont live that far away. Do your parents live near the church still? Maybe you can have them go down and talk to the priest for you, intially? maybe then they will at least tell if the date is open. But I also dont think Catholic churches do interfaith ceremonies- but dont quote me on that.

nylisa Posted: Jan 22, 2004 04:11 PM

Re: BOOKING THE CHURCH??!!

I did not have a problem. I told my church what day I wanted and they wrote me down in the book. I had no problem with getting the date and time I wanted for my wedding.

elbee3 Posted: Jan 22, 2004 04:12 PM

Re: BOOKING THE CHURCH??!!

Ah that totally sucks! I didn't have a problem at mine. I mentioned to my priest at mass one weekend that we picked a date. He literally was ready to take me to the rectory and put my name in the book right that second! I called the next day and the secretary penciled us in. I just called yesterday and changed the date. All over the phone. I guess it depends on the parish. I don't know why yours is being such a pain! Especially since you're out of town and can't just 'drop in' Sorry! I hope it gets better.

NYCHICK Posted: Jan 22, 2004 04:12 PM

Re: BOOKING THE CHURCH??!!

We are having an interfaith marriage in a Catholic church but your priest has to petition for one for you. I am baptist and FH is Catholic.

Ang&Rich Posted: Jan 22, 2004 04:18 PM

Re: BOOKING THE CHURCH??!!

I think it makes a difference if you are a current parishioner at the church. My FH and I are members and the rectory office put my name down in the book. Now in March I have to call to fill out paper work but it was very easy to get my date.

Some churches get offended when brides have their reception hall before the church.

nylisa Posted: Jan 22, 2004 04:20 PM

Re: BOOKING THE CHURCH??!!

Ang, that is why I had no problem getting the date that I wanted. We are getting married at my church where I did all my sacraments and a very active parishioner.

Kelly9904 Posted: Jan 22, 2004 04:21 PM

Re: BOOKING THE CHURCH??!!

Posted by Ang&Rich

Some churches get offended when brides have their reception hall before the church.

This I have heard alot! We tried not to let on we had already picked our date! After we met with them it was easy, we even changed our date afterwards and they did it over the phone!

Like I said we had to meet first before picking a date and Our was this way even though I am a current parishoner(sp?) of that church! I think it varys from church to church!

ETA: I forgot although we tried to not let them know we had a date with a hall, the priest was very nice and said, I know alot of people look at halls first and thats understandable! So some churches are cool about it, it just depends on how strict your parish is!

skew Posted: Jan 22, 2004 04:24 PM

Re: BOOKING THE CHURCH??!!

As you know, the Catholic Church has set forth very strict rules and regulations. It is a huge NO NO for one to even think of planning a wedding/booking vendors prior to speaking w/ the church.

I would contact the priest again and explain to him that you live out of state and although you would like to meet w/ him personally, it's proving to be difficult due to your schedule. Tell him that it is very important to you that you are married in a Catholic Church (specifically that parish) and would really appreciate it if he could let you know the availibility. Tell him that you have many out of towns guests and you are trying to coordinate and mutaully available date.

Many churches will not disclose their date availability until you speak w/ a priest (phone or face-face.)

ETS: Unless your FI chooses to convert and receive all the sacraments (baptism, communion/eucharist, confirmation) you can forget about an interfaith ceremony/mass in a Catholic Church.

holly231 Posted: Jan 22, 2004 04:35 PM

Re: BOOKING THE CHURCH??!!

I have spoken to the PRiest on the phone...

I have explained I am out of town...am a Parishioner of that church, was in the church youth group, choir, first communion, christening, and confirmation....IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE....

FH and I ahve done extensive research on having our inerfaith catholic/jewish wedding, and have gtten lots of info on it and it IS possible....

Just certain churches allow it and some don;t I guess..I know of a Catholic CHurch in SOuthampton that allows it..in fac,t I have been to 3 there! I guess I will give them a call next....

We cannot ahve the ceremony at the hall because it will be dark by the time its over, and we do not want pictujres in the dark and we do not want to see each other until we walk down the aisle...so pictures beforehand are not an option.....

I guess I will check with that church in SOuthampton and then onto other denominative churches....ITs horrible how difficult they make these things...

PlanningFromATL Posted: Jan 22, 2004 04:38 PM

Re: BOOKING THE CHURCH??!!

I'm learning that churhes can really have the 'upper hand' in all of your planning!

holly231 Posted: Jan 22, 2004 04:40 PM

Re: BOOKING THE CHURCH??!!

Posted by skew

ETS: Unless your FI chooses to convert and receive all the sacraments (baptism, communion/eucharist, confirmation) you can forget about an interfaith ceremony/mass in a Catholic Church.

This is not true...we have been researching this for the past year since we have been engaged, it is not true that he has to convert. We do not want a mass..just the ceremony and we have spoken extensively to Priests who perform with a Rabbi, in fact my FSIL was married in a catholic church to her Husband by both....just in July....

ITs a lot based upon what the PRiest decides is 'ok'....different parishes will honor it...liek I said, I ahve been to 3 Jewish/Catholic ceremonies before in Catholic Churches....

TwoBugs Posted: Jan 22, 2004 04:46 PM

Re: BOOKING THE CHURCH??!!

We are out of state also and although FH and I are both confirmed Catholics, we don't belong to a parish in NY and had a very difficult time finding a church. Finally, the 4th one I called said yes, but only because my aunt is a parishoner.

You might have to call around to find a church willing to perform the ceremony. It's entirely up to each individual parish to do what they want. Good luck!

halloweenbride04 Posted: Jan 22, 2004 04:48 PM

Re: BOOKING THE CHURCH??!!

My church would not discuss dates with us until we were 'interviewed' by a priest. Then we pretended like we didn't have the date 'set' yet.

skew Posted: Jan 22, 2004 06:00 PM

Re: BOOKING THE CHURCH??!!

Posted by holly231

Posted by skew

ETS: Unless your FI chooses to convert and receive all the sacraments (baptism, communion/eucharist, confirmation) you can forget about an interfaith ceremony/mass in a Catholic Church.

This is not true...we have been researching this for the past year since we have been engaged, it is not true that he has to convert. We do not want a mass..just the ceremony and we have spoken extensively to Priests who perform with a Rabbi, in fact my FSIL was married in a catholic church to her Husband by both....just in July....

ITs a lot based upon what the PRiest decides is 'ok'....different parishes will honor it...liek I said, I ahve been to 3 Jewish/Catholic ceremonies before in Catholic Churches....

I guess it does depend on the church/priest, but I have never heard of it.

karen32 Posted: Jan 22, 2004 06:02 PM

Re: BOOKING THE CHURCH??!!

i don't know if this is just my church, but they would not even consider marrying us unless we could show that DH and I had both received the sacrements - baptism, communion, and confirmation.

ETA - we only wanted a ceremony, which we made clear from day 1.