BP and showers

I am in two weddings in 3 months and bt the dresses showers bachlorette parties (going to south beach for one) the money that needs to be spent is getting out of hand! I just got a call from the MOH for the wedding in june and she asked for $150 for the shower...i thought she meant for a gift but when i talked to her she meant just to put towards the shower (gifts are seperate) ..now the MOH is the grooms sister and their mom is throwing the bride the shower at captain bills.. I said yes I would contribute but what is the normal etiquette on paying for the shower ..does the BP put money towards the shower and obligated to buy a gift?? sorry only been in 1 other wedding before so not really sure! TIA

I don't know...but I would do both.

usually the BP does chip in for the shower, as well as buying a gift for the bride.
it really can get expensive!

yup being in a bp can be expensive...usually bp contributes to the shower, contributes to shower gift from the bp, contribute the bachelorette party and of course the dress and accessories (ex:jewelry, hair makeup shoes etc)

of course it is the bride's choice but it is part of proper etiquette

i think that's a gray area sometimes. some say the BP should chip in, while others say they never had to before. but i think it's unfair to ASK for a certain amount from each BP member.

my MOH & 1 BM planned my shower, and in the end my mom paid the bulk, but they paid a little for the bill at the place, but handled all costs for decorations, favors, etc.

maybe you can talk to other BP members and see what they say? I mean how many other girls are there that they are asking for $150 EACH?

Thanks for the responses.. the thing is the bachlorette party that is in south beach is my FSIL who has contributed already to my wedding much more then the other wedding I am in.. there are a total of 4 BM and 1 MOH 2 of the BM work with the bride and said they cant contribute bc they are throwing her a shower at work and the other BM is 15 but I do think she is contributing..I will most likely end up contributing and getting a gift in the end but I was just wondering how that works for my shower eventually..Thanks for your help it seems like theres no wrong or right answer!

i never heard of the BP chipping in for the shower - usually a gift from the BP to the B&G.

Yes the BP should chip in for the shower since they are the ones that should be hosting it.

JMHO.....

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Posted by ik1

You can have them help pay for it, but I am not I think its to expensive to ask someone to chip in that type of money.

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I agree

I have been in several bridal partys and I was fortunate to have someone (aunts) may for the Showers... I was in my cousins wedding and the Bridesmaids contributed to the shower... (we had no say in where it was and it was an expensive italian restaurant) + pay for the gifts (we did one big one from the BM) and everyone did others on the side as well...personally it is a lot especially if it is helf in a restaurant etc...being in a Bridal party is very expensive. good luck!

But check out this website:
http://www.blissweddings.com/wedding_planner/bridesmaid-guide.PDF

+ i found the below...good luck!

Bridesmaid duties
These are the traditional duties/guidelines for a bridesmaid. Remember that being chosen for this position is an honor and you should be willing to lend your support in whatever way the bride may need your assistance with

Be a friend during all the planning. If she needs someone to talk to - be that person. Be a good listener. Be encouraging. Make her smile!

Help look for bridesmaid dresses and other ensemble accessories (shoes, jewelry, etc.) Unless the bride is choosing to pay for your dress and shoes, you need to pay for your own.

Offer your assistance during the wedding planning. Whether it's helping with addressing invitations, making party favors, packing - whatever can help take some pressure off of her. If there is something specific you would like to help with, be specific when you ask.

f the bride asks for your opinion on the bridesmaid dresses - be honest, but don't expect her to change her mind just because you may not like them. The wedding is, after all, about her and her husband-to-be. She has a number of other girls she has to try to 'please' as well.

Be involved in the planning and hosting of all the pre-wedding showers and parties. If there are costs incurred, you should pitch in some money to help out.

Help out the maid/matron of honor if she's juggling too many responsibilities at once. Ask what you can do to help her.

Bridesmaids must attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.

If the bride and her family are decorating the ceremony or reception site on their own, offer to help them, even if it means getting up early the day of the wedding.

During the reception, help other guests if they need to know where the restroom is, where to put the gifts, where to sit, etc.

Since the bride will be busy visiting with guests, offer to get her dinner (if it's a buffet set up), make sure she has water at all times, keep an eye on her gown to make sure she keeps bustled, etc.

The bride will usually need help holding her gown when she goes to the bathroom - so be on hand.

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Posted by Tracyann1976

I would do both as well.

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ditto.

being part of the bp requires a financial commitment