BP Dresses and $$$$$ money $$$$

i think most BMs expect to pay 200-300 (with alterations) on a dress. so i wouldnt be tooooo concerned. they WANT to be in your BP. they love you. remember that!

if it starts creeping up over the 300 mark, then i would try to help people at as you could (maybe if alterations are capped, you can pay those costs?)

also...there is a place in chinatown that rents BM dresses. i am supposed to check it out in march and i will report back. if you give me the model/style number i can ask if they have it.

I havent even really thought about bm dresses yet! But when the time comes I am hoping to keep it under $200 with everthing.

And I think I am paying for their mani/pedis

I'm keeping the dresses around $150...there is a lot of stuff for that amount of money...


I think you paying for the manis/pedis is a wonderful idea!!! A good bonding experience and will show them your appreciation!!! I also agree with letting them get the hair and makeup done on their own if they choose to....

This has weighed on me as well - I even considered having a very small bp (sisters and brothers only) to avoid burdening my friends - but then I thought, I have been in a number of bps and always understood that part of the responsibility is the expense. And someone, maybe on this site, even reminded me: 'Those that matter don't mind and those that mind don't matter.' Don't feel too guilty.

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Posted by CappyGirl

This has weighed on me as well - I even considered having a very small bp (sisters and brothers only) to avoid burdening my friends - but then I thought, I have been in a number of bps and always understood that part of the responsibility is the expense. And someone, maybe on this site, even reminded me: 'Those that matter don't mind and those that mind don't matter.' Don't feel too guilty.

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I love this quote!

Unfortunately with everyone's concern about money right now, you've got a valid point on being worried about being a burden. However, every girl knows that being a BM comes with a cost. When I was BM for my best friend, our dress (with alterations) was about $250. I also bought new shoes, and got my hair and makeup done as well (on my own). Top that off with an amazing e-party gift, bridal shower gift, bachelorette party, and wedding gift, and it cost me well in the $1000 range. But she's my best friend and it was well worth it. I knew going into it that it was going to be costly.

I would expect that your BM's are close enough to you that if they feel they can't afford it, they'd tell you. Otherwise, I'm sure they're more than willing to spend the money.

With that said, my plan is to keep dress and alterations capped at $250. My sister (one of my MOH's) is a manicurist, so we will all get manis/pedis for free. They can wear whatever shoes they'd like (obviously a chosen color). And depending on cost, I may pay for hair and makeup. If I don't pay for hair and makeup, they can go on their own - I won't specify where they need to get it done. And if they want to do their own makeup and not get it professionally done, that's fine too.

ETA: all of my BM's know that they're BM's (I've already asked them all), so they have PLENTY of time to save up. The wedding is over a year away.

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Posted by Sandradv121

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Posted by stinenandy2010

I felt really guilty like you too, my dress was $240 but then two girls needed extra length, then tax, it came to almost $300! I felt horrible and told me girls this but they assured me they didn't mind spending the money.

I am going to try to pay for their hair and makeup to help with the cost.

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They said they didn't mind either, but I know the true circumstances. It bothers me.

I think I will pay for all their mani/pedis. Like have a mani/pedi party the day before the wedding, like a morning thing. I was thinking about doing this for them for a while. Serve Momosa's and bloody Mary's, little breakfast foods, get some mani/pedi's etc.

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im doing this too. gonna have all the girls get together the morning before and have a brunch and get our nails done together. i will prob pay for them all as their gifts

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Posted by CappyGirl

This has weighed on me as well - I even considered having a very small bp (sisters and brothers only) to avoid burdening my friends - but then I thought, I have been in a number of bps and always understood that part of the responsibility is the expense. And someone, maybe on this site, even reminded me: 'Those that matter don't mind and those that mind don't matter.' Don't feel too guilty.

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ITA Couldn't have said it better myself.

Thank God my BM have jobs that are not affected by the economy!!
But I made the decision not to pick dresses that are expensive.
Depending on where we go the most will be $150

I just cant see making them spend a lot on something that they will probably only wear once.

JMO

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Posted by FallBride2010

I dont feel too bad...b/call the gils in my party would probably buy a new dress for the wedding anyway. And you are giving them a ton of notice...so they can save and not have to dumb a huge deposit on the spot

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i agree. they have a year and a half to save.. the same as i have when ive been in BP.. dont feel guilty.

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Posted by grkbarbie

sorry that sounded cold. i feel bad, just like u do... but then if u really look at it.... 175$ deposit by AUGUST any1 can do. its literally about a dollar a day. when everythign is broken down.. it doesnt seem like a big tab.

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I agree its really not too too bad. I understand how you feel with making htem pay anything. I wish I could pay for them but I obviously can't!

I think if you let them know know it will be more then enough time to save that money.

I don't want to be the dark cloud here.... but I think $250 for a dress is a lot. You then have to condsider alterations and they are usually capped (atleast what i have seen) around $75. So thats a $325.00 for a dress they will probably only wear one time. Everyone says.. oh you can wear it again/ I'll wear it again.. but lets be honest as girls we never want to wear something again.

If there is a way to get a replica made like some other people have suggested I think thats a great idea. I also think the mani/pedi party sounds really great too. To be honest though I would rather spend the $40 on a mani/pedi than that much on a dress...

Also yes they have notice about the expense and certainly things could get better for them, but things can also get worse. The economy is really Sh*itty and unstable right now, I believe you were even concerned about lay offs in a pervious post.

Please don't hate me. I am really sorry to be the negative one here this is just my opinion. I would consider looking at other gowns and talking with all your girls honestly and openly... There are many beautiful gowns for less....

I appreciate your honesty. I am actually thinking of finding something a little cheaper. Or if there is a store that has that dress cheaper. Or if I can get a discount since I got my dress from the same place where I planned on getting the dresses.

No worries! I am not mad :) Thats why we post, to way out options and help each other find solutions to issues that bother us. I think its awesome :)

I didn't think you would be mad bc I have read other honest posts you have written and your right thats what these are actually for. And is is Awesome!

I hope you can find the dress you like, at a good price. Search high and low you probably will. I think you can negotiate with salons too,it's certainly worth trying!

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Posted by Sandradv121

Sooo, I know that its really hard times right now for everyone as far as money is concerned. So thats why last night I got an overwhelming sense of guilt when I thought of my BP paying for their dresses. My brother(he's a gm) mentioned his GF (one of my BM's) is really broke, but I shouldn't have to worry b/c he's going to help pay for her dress (which is really Noble). But it made me start to feel HORRIBLE. I kept the cost below $250, but most places expect like more than half of a deposit.

Is anyone else feeling the guilt trip? I want to help out as much as possible, but I can only go so far... my budget doesn't have much room.

Also, does anyone know of anyways that I can cut the cost for the BP dresses? The dress is picked out already, just not ordered.

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I am paying for my BM dresses so that way I wont feel as bad making them pay..... I am thinking to bring a tailor and have her make the dresses.... I just have to compare prices, and if its not gonna come out even more lol

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Posted by soontobecruz

I don't want to be the dark cloud here.... but I think $250 for a dress is a lot. You then have to condsider alterations and they are usually capped (atleast what i have seen) around $75. So thats a $325.00 for a dress they will probably only wear one time. Everyone says.. oh you can wear it again/ I'll wear it again.. but lets be honest as girls we never want to wear something again.

If there is a way to get a replica made like some other people have suggested I think thats a great idea. I also think the mani/pedi party sounds really great too. To be honest though I would rather spend the $40 on a mani/pedi than that much on a dress...

Also yes they have notice about the expense and certainly things could get better for them, but things can also get worse. The economy is really Sh*itty and unstable right now, I believe you were even concerned about lay offs in a pervious post.

Please don't hate me. I am really sorry to be the negative one here this is just my opinion. I would consider looking at other gowns and talking with all your girls honestly and openly... There are many beautiful gowns for less....

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you are not alone!!!!!!

very well put!!!!!!!