So, I'm planning a bachelorette party for a bride and 4 girls in the BP basically have said that they can't afford it and just won't come. I think it's rude since being in a BP is not just about wearing a dress. None of us have contributed to the bridal shower.
I'm doing everything I can to lower costs, but the reality is dinner/drinks and maybe one bar/drinks is like $150-200 of course we need to pay for the bride too. They think that's alot. What do I do?
I feel like the bride chose them, so she obviously wants them. I am stunned about this!
Teachgirl
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Re: BP issue with POLL
I accepted the location to accommodate these girls as well as the date. Honestly, i can't do much more for them.
cavvento
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Re: BP issue with POLL
I don't think the amounts you cited were a lot to ask - very fair, and would still give the bride a great experience. But basically whether you think those amounts are fair or not, it doesn't matter. Now you have a dilemma - will there be a bachelorette party or not? It seems like if you want your friend to have a bachelorette party, you might have to suck up your good ideas and suggest just a day at the beach or a girls' sleepover night. You can ask each girl to bring a bottle of something and do a pot luck of snacks.
You are so right on all accounts, but unfortunately here you might have to take the high road and suggest some other ideas. Your only other option would be to solicit support from the bride's other friends, and make the other bridesmaids seem cheap, but do you want to put the bride in that situation? I personally think the high road is better. If the other girls won't agree to ANYTHING, take the bride out on a personal spa day with drinks afterwards.
leeserd
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Re: BP issue with POLL
Posted by Teachgirl
I got an e-mail from one of the girls saying this:
and if what you think the bride really wants is a three day 'destination' gala, then please by all means go ahead; but do understand that at least a few girls will not be able to attend. I want to emphasize that such a decision will not by any means hurt my feelings or the feelings of the other girls, or make us feel left out - we recognize and accept that our financial reality may differ from yours.
/QUOTE]
WHOA!!!! This email is CRAZZZZZZZZZZZZZY!!! I can't even imagine how you responded to that one! I really don't get it. You said that these girls knew for over a year that this was coming AND they didn't pay for the shower, so even if you said that you wanted to go to Vegas, there should be no problem. What do they think they SHOULD pay for? I guess maybe its just me but when a friend asks me to be a bridesmaid, I feel really honored and I would want to make it an amazing experience for her that she will never forget and I assume that she would do the same for me. Besides, when it comes to the bachelorette party, its kind of a gift to yourself too because you are also enjoying the partying and food and entertainment, so I don't get that. I'm really sorry that you are dealing with this and I thought that my girls were being difficult...geez...just terrible.
Teachgirl
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Re: BP issue with POLL
So, now here's my issue: I planned a bachelorette party to accommodate the cheap people...this is really not what I wanted to do. Now the girls are picking and choosing what they want to attend! I'm asking for checks to be mailed to me in advance..is this tacky? I really don't trust these people.
sophisticat13
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Re: BP issue with POLL
Posted by Teachgirl
So, now here's my issue: I planned a bachelorette party to accommodate the cheap people...this is really not what I wanted to do. Now the girls are picking and choosing what they want to attend! I'm asking for checks to be mailed to me in advance..is this tacky? I really don't trust these people.
I wouldn't trust them either. Is there a show called Maidzilla out there yet?
Teachgirl
Posted:
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Re: BP issue with POLL
Now they are e-mailing, that's out of my comfort zone....I'll come to other events! These people don't realize that it's not about them! I feel as though they are also not giving alternative suggestions either!
PS I thought it would be a blast to do pole dancing as a private party to do something entertaining and silly in the afternoon. and begin the bach. festivities!
