My fiancee and I whom were together for over 5 years recently broke up and I was hopeing to get some advice. Things were going a bit crazy with the wedding planning and we were stressed and it was taking a toll on our relationship. We really didn't see each other and he was depressed from work. I guess I didn't feel like I was getting the attention I was needing and turned to someone else. I know that it was wrong and it did not go far or for very long. However someone (a friend of mine) told him about what had happened. I've tried to talk to him about what happened but I don't know if he believes me. It's tearing me apart and I would do anything to make things right. He's very upset,hurt and angry which I do understand. He says he doesn't think he can be happy but then wants to see, talk and hang out with me. I am very confused and I'm not sure what to do. I do love him and he is the one I want to be with. He says he loves me and cares for me alot. I just don't know what to do from here.
HeatherRose
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Re: Break up
Is this another one of those prank people? Only 1 post things?????
missingu
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No I do have an account on here with over 2k postings. I just wanted to do this without people knowing or searching my name.
rkl1130
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Re: Break up
Planning a wedding is incredibly stressful and definitely takes its toll on a couple. When something like that happens, it is a bit jarring for the other person--especially since you were in the process of planning your wedding. Since he obviously wants to talk to you, then you should talk to him. You'll probably need to work to win his trust back, but if you both feel that you should be together then it will happen. Take things slowly and use this time to get to know each other again and fall back in love.
NY031978
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Re: Break up
Honestly....give it TIME! What you did as you know was wrong. Give him some space. Don't call,go over too his place, email or even text him. Let HIM come to you!!! Give him the space that he needs and when he's had some time to swallow this im sure he will come back too you. (of course if he can forgive you!) You don't want to force him into something when hes hurting b/c the only thing it will do is backfire on you!!
Best of luck!
missingu
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I hope so and I do want to work thing out I'm not sure if he's willing. I asked him to go out one night just to see how we felt but he said he didn't think it was a step in the right direction. It's really hard since this happened when the wedding was so close, within 2 months.
rkl1130
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Posted by missingu
I hope so and I do want to work thing out I'm not sure if he's willing. I asked him to go out one night just to see how we felt but he said he didn't think it was a step in the right direction. It's really hard since this happened when the wedding was so close, within 2 months.
It takes time. Remember that it's more important to work on your relationship than worrying about all the wedding stuff.
AeroJenn
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Re: Break up
Honestly, if my FH cheated on me 2 months before our wedding, I would still love him and care for him, but it would be over for us. I dont know if our relationship could ever be the same. And the only way I would be able to know for sure....is time. So give him time to think, figure things out, etc. And to be honest, I think YOU need that time more than anyone else, because it sounds to me like you dont know what you really want. You wouldnt have turned to another man if you did. You both need space and time to figure yourselves out.
I hope things work out for you both.
NY031978
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oh so your wedding was soon? oh thought maybe you had enough time to try and work on things!
missingu
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This didn't happen 2 months before it was a while ago. This 'friend' of mine told him 2 months before
LoveisBliss
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Posted by AeroJenn
Honestly, if my FH cheated on me 2 months before our wedding, I would still love him and care for him, but it would be over for us. I dont know if our relationship could ever be the same. And the only way I would be able to know for sure....is time. So give him time to think, figure things out, etc. And to be honest, I think YOU need that time more than anyone else, because it sounds to me like you dont know what you really want. You wouldnt have turned to another man if you did. You both need space and time to figure yourselves out.
I hope things work out for you both.
I agree... Planning a wedding is very stressful on a couple... I think at this point, figuring out what comes next for you both is more important than all the planning... He needs time to gather his thoughts... and you also need time to figure out why you would turn to another man when things got tough instead of your fiance... perhaps there is more to it when you start to dig beneath the surface....
I do hope you can both work on this and get past this...
luvabul
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Re: Break up
i totally agree with u, i would Love him, but i could not be with him...
missingu
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Thank you. I know it's hard but I also know he's starting to see it was a bit of neglect on both of our parts. This happened a while ago not 2 months before. This friend of mine decided at 2 months before to tell him.
Queensbebe
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Just give it time and see where it goes. It might be hard for him to ever trust u again. Play it by ear and give him time. I hope everything works out for you!
jgl
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I think you should try couples couseling.. having someone neutral there can help you both discuss your sides without getting loud and argumentative.
snowcat
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Posted by jgl
I think you should try couples couseling.. having someone neutral there can help you both discuss your sides without getting loud and argumentative.
I agree- you both have some trust issues to work out...good luck!
missingu
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I had suggested that we go to councling but he didn't seem to go for it. He's really not one to outright talk about his feelings with other people.
Bridex100
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Did you cheat on him?
I'm sorry but if someone cheated on me RIGHT before the wedding, it would be game over.
If you loved him and really wanted to marry him, you should not have cheated on him.
